Tony88

Im fairly new to this site. I lurk alot but it seems that many say you shouldn't get involved into a relationship till your sober.

Ive been drinking for the past few years. It ruined a past relationship with my high school sweetheart. Last spring I got into a relationship with this chic and it was great. For me she was a distraction from drinking, she also had a daughter who I made the mistake getting attached to.

After a few months she called it off and I went back to my same old drinking ways. She was a good woman and I reckon I had my hopes up for us. I felt that things were going in the right path for me untill it flopped.

I'm 23 and I'm not sober. I've been really looking for help but call me crazy the most recent help was a good woman that distracted me from drinking. I'm not old but I'm not getting younger and it would be nice to end this fiasco and settle down!

Your thoughts?

Dee74

Hi Tony

good to see you again

don't you think though this illustrates why we shouldn't look to other people to 'fix' us or 'distract' us?

Take those people away and we revert - we simply go back to what we know.

I think you're far better off getting sober because you want to, Tony.

Get sober, and find support to stay that way.

That way you can find out who sober you is...and then you can go looking for relationships...from my experience I guarantee it will be better for you, and for the women you meet

D

Sapling

What Dee said....

Chuck48

Hello Tony-

I'm sure this woman and her daughter are fantastic, but with almost 7 million people in the world, I can promise you that you'll meet someone else who will catch your eye and heart.

I like what Dee had to say: "Take those people away and we revert - we simply go back to what we know." I think you'll find that your relationships--romantic and otherwise--will become more solid and stable when you're sober. I haven't been sober for that long, so I'm certainly no expert. All I can say is that I'm more comfortable being me, and I feel much more confident that my life will unravel as it should. (And I'm a lot older than 23.)

Best of luck to you.

Anna

I'm sure she was a lovely woman, but you need to be sober and recover for yourself and not by using another person as a distraction. That would give you temporary help, at best. She can't fix your life for you.

I think when you become sober and work on your recovery, you will see changes in yourself and you will understand that you needed some time to work on you, before getting involved with someone else.

onlythetruth

Absolutely true. Also, it is not fair to the woman. She deserves better. The best thing you can do, for yourself and for the woman you'll eventually have as a partner, is to get yourself sober and healthy. It'll take time, but it's worth it.