Really sad tonight
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 227
Really sad tonight
For some reason I'm having a pity party for myself tonight. I made it through the holidays relatively fine but the advent of the new year, with all the hoopla and wishes for a peaceful new year, is crushing my heart tonight.
My AS is in jail tonight. I wonder if he thought about what the new year could mean for his life. I hope so.
I did go out tonight. Celebrated my anniversary with my husband at a nice restaurant and enjoyed a delicious filet mignon! then I rang in the new year at home with my non-a daughter and several neices and nephews. We had fun. But it's now after 2 and I can't sleep due to worry over something I KNOW I didnt cause, can't control and can't cure. I guess I'm having my own little relapse.
I pray for all of our "A's" and, even more so, for all of us co-de's to find peace and serenity in this new year.
My AS is in jail tonight. I wonder if he thought about what the new year could mean for his life. I hope so.
I did go out tonight. Celebrated my anniversary with my husband at a nice restaurant and enjoyed a delicious filet mignon! then I rang in the new year at home with my non-a daughter and several neices and nephews. We had fun. But it's now after 2 and I can't sleep due to worry over something I KNOW I didnt cause, can't control and can't cure. I guess I'm having my own little relapse.
I pray for all of our "A's" and, even more so, for all of us co-de's to find peace and serenity in this new year.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Joppa, Maryland
Posts: 61
Wow, I could have written that letter. My AS is in jail, too. My husband and I went out the night before last to celebrate our anniversary (which is on the 31st) and I too, had a filet that was delicious!
I talked to my son yesterday, and he sounds really good. He has a bail review Monday, the 9th, and if the judge will grant him bail, he will go straight to the halfway house. Also, my ex-husband and his wife were going to give my son a truck to drive, and I didn't think that was such a great idea, but, that's up to them. My son told me yesterday that they changed their mind, and wanted to see how he did for awhile out of jail, before they would think about giving him the truck. My son was cool with that, and said that he really wants to save up and get a car just to get to work, etc.
I hope and pray that he means everything he is saying, but, it's easy to want to do the right thing when you are sitting in jail. Only time will tell.
Happy New Year everyone, and I will be keeping all of you in my prayers. I have only been a member here a very short time, but, just reading everything helps me so much. Thank you.
I talked to my son yesterday, and he sounds really good. He has a bail review Monday, the 9th, and if the judge will grant him bail, he will go straight to the halfway house. Also, my ex-husband and his wife were going to give my son a truck to drive, and I didn't think that was such a great idea, but, that's up to them. My son told me yesterday that they changed their mind, and wanted to see how he did for awhile out of jail, before they would think about giving him the truck. My son was cool with that, and said that he really wants to save up and get a car just to get to work, etc.
I hope and pray that he means everything he is saying, but, it's easy to want to do the right thing when you are sitting in jail. Only time will tell.
Happy New Year everyone, and I will be keeping all of you in my prayers. I have only been a member here a very short time, but, just reading everything helps me so much. Thank you.
it is what it is
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Griffin GA
Posts: 454
i understand the sadness and the hopefulness and the helplessness mixed in with "normal" life activities - we sure live on a surreal plain - one level where our thoughts never leave our A wherever they may be - one level carrying on - it is wonderful having this place to come to share the feelings that are so common among us - blessings to all
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Sometimes jail is a strangely wrapped gift, it may just be the sober time an addict needs to perhaps choose a better path. Many jails have meetings and AA/NA contact.
I don't know where my son is today, but each day I ask God to take good care of him and lead him when he is ready to be led. Then I let go and live my day to its fullest, as each day is meant to be lived.
May this new year bring new freedom to those of us who are frozen in fear. May it bring peace to those of us in chaos.
And may it bring light to those we love.
Happy New Year dear friends.
I don't know where my son is today, but each day I ask God to take good care of him and lead him when he is ready to be led. Then I let go and live my day to its fullest, as each day is meant to be lived.
May this new year bring new freedom to those of us who are frozen in fear. May it bring peace to those of us in chaos.
And may it bring light to those we love.
Happy New Year dear friends.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 146
The holidays are so hard.
I'm happy to see you have a husband to share this with. I wish I had a husband who was with me in this, it's got to make it easier in some ways.. You are blessed with that. My other kids, AS's siblings, are supportive, and I'm blessed with that. I read of others on this board who are going through this with no one who understands and supports them.
As hard as it is, life is still providing it's blessings.
May the new year bring happiness and good things to all of us!
I'm happy to see you have a husband to share this with. I wish I had a husband who was with me in this, it's got to make it easier in some ways.. You are blessed with that. My other kids, AS's siblings, are supportive, and I'm blessed with that. I read of others on this board who are going through this with no one who understands and supports them.
As hard as it is, life is still providing it's blessings.
May the new year bring happiness and good things to all of us!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Another Earth
Posts: 172
I couldn't articulate those feelings any better! I was feeling so melancholy all day yesterday. Even though I was able to ring in the new year with my family, my mind was certainly with my ex ABF and I felt detached from everything. The break up is still fresh...right before Thanksgiving and the holidays can bring about such mixed emotions as it is. So for today, I am leaving yesterday behind. I am not going to be hard on myself for my own "relapse"-because it definitely was-I am going to be kind to myself today.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 559
You are not alone. I have a pain inside that I wish would just go away. I miss him. I love him, and I want my family back. I enjoyed my holiday. But he was missed. Its sad. I wish I could say or do something to make it all go away. Just keep your head up. Keep looking at the positive. And focus on the beautiful you!
Its so painful.
Take care and Happy New Year to all!
Its so painful.
Take care and Happy New Year to all!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 227
Thank you all for your replies! It really does help to know I'm not alone. I am fortunate to have a husband, but supportive isn't the word I'd use to describe him regarding my AS. I do, however, have supportive friends that I'm very thankful for.
I feel like I'm growing and am really learning to detach with love. Not that long ago any problem my AS had felt like it was happening to me. I couldnt separate where he ended and i began. If he was in trouble I would barely be able to function throughout the day. Now, although the pain is always there, I can get up, laugh, and be thankful for the good things in my life... That is progress! And I have many of you to thank for helping me get to where I am and providing gentle nudges when I'd start to backtrack.. Thank you! This site truly is a godsend.
Best wishes to all for a peaceful 2012!
I feel like I'm growing and am really learning to detach with love. Not that long ago any problem my AS had felt like it was happening to me. I couldnt separate where he ended and i began. If he was in trouble I would barely be able to function throughout the day. Now, although the pain is always there, I can get up, laugh, and be thankful for the good things in my life... That is progress! And I have many of you to thank for helping me get to where I am and providing gentle nudges when I'd start to backtrack.. Thank you! This site truly is a godsend.
Best wishes to all for a peaceful 2012!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
Hello everyone, sending big hugs and prayers to all of us Mothers who hold our children up to HP for the strength and courage for their lives. I too missed our son, he has not contacted us for a few weeks. I pray daily he is working his program. Here is to 2012 as a year of rebirth and reunions!
Love
Teresa
Love
Teresa
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Originally Posted by Heartbroken0608 
I feel like I'm growing and am really learning to detach with love. Not that long ago any problem my AS had felt like it was happening to me. I couldnt separate where he ended and i began. If he was in trouble I would barely be able to function throughout the day. Now, although the pain is always there, I can get up, laugh, and be thankful for the good things in my life... That is progress! And I have many of you to thank for helping me get to where I am and providing gentle nudges when I'd start to backtrack.. Thank you! This site truly is a godsend.
Best wishes to all for a peaceful 2012!
Best wishes to all for a peaceful 2012!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Joppa, Maryland
Posts: 61
Heartbroken0608 - LOL. When I read your post, I couldn't believe it. It was exactly what I did! I have three pugs, Jojo, Bella and Buddy. I love the name Suki for a pug! Is she fawn or black? I have one black pug and two fawn.
Tonight, it's fish tacos!
Tonight, it's fish tacos!
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