TheOldMe

So tonight is New Years and guess what? I am spending it by myself at my house. Why? My biggest goal this year is to stop drinking, or basically to the point where I only have a few here and there. If I keep drinking at the rate I am now, I won’t live to see a long and successful life. It seems like forever that I have been drinking on average a 12 pack a night. Some nights it gets upwards to 18 beers. What the hell was I thinking? Most of those nights were spent by myself also. Drinking because I was bored, depressed, and mad at myself because of who I had become. Like drinking was going to make it any better. When you drink, little problems seem like mountains you have to climb and the drinks seem to make those problems go away, but only for a little while. I wanted to stay home tonight to reflect on all the things I could have accomplished if I wasn’t drinking all the time. There’s so much out of life I want and none of them involve drinking lots of beer every night. I plan on making this my last night of drinking for a while. I am not sure if I would be able to quit forever. Self-control is the biggest thing I think. There are plenty of situations where I could see wanting to have a drink or two to celebrate, etc. I just don’t want to fall back into the place I am now, helpless. A couple weeks back I went two whole weeks without drinking which was HUGE for me. I seriously felt so alive and like I was a person again, rather than a zombie just trying to get by in the real world until it was time to start drinking again. This is the beginning of a new year, the beginning of a new me, the old me. The old me that used to be happy all the time. The old me that would happily accept challenges rather than finding them as problems and reasons to drink. The old me that embraced life. The old me who used to be in shape and would laugh at people who had beer bellies, thinking why would you ever do that to yourself? At the age of 25, if you told my 18 year old self this is what I was going to become I would have laughed in your face. It’s time to make a change. I know the whole New Years’ time to make a change is totally cliché but the realization of the situation was like a slap in the face to me. Especially when I look back at that 2 week period where I felt so alive for the first time in a long time. Here’s to a productive, successful, and happy 2012. It’s going to be a hell of a ride but I hope you guys can help me along the way. Buckle up.

Dee74

Welcome to SR

I like having the Old Me back again too - the same but better

good to have you here

D

artsoul

Welcome to the forum, TheOldMe!

Way to go on making a decision to get sober. I love waking up with a clear head and positive attitude these days....... I didn't even realize how miserable I was until I got rid of the alcohol.

I can relate to how overwhelming it feels to think about giving up alcohol forever. Just do it a day at a time and use support to keep motivated. I never thought I could be happy without drinking, but now I wouldn't dream of going back.

Here's to a great, sober 2012!

version2

Good for you, TheOldMe. I know where you are coming from. Drinking every night helps us avoid responsibility but only for a while. Those problems are still out there. And we are less able to deal with them.

I've only been sober for 30 days but I feel better able to deal with things. I will admit that I still don't WANT to be responsible but I feel better when I deal with things. Part of my 2012 plan is to address issues as they arise and not avoid them. And getting healthy - physically and financially - will be part of that plan. I need to be taking responsibility for myself and setting a good example for my kids. finally.

Anyway congratulations to you on your resolve. You can do this.