Pigtails

I feel so irritated and mad. It seems like everyone around me drinks all the time, and feels unfair that I can't. I'm visiting my family who live in another state, and I see them infrequently. We went to a holiday event tonight, and now we're at Applebees. My sister, her boyfriend, my boyfriend, and my dad are all drinking beer. Last night we all went bowling as a family and it was the same thing. During the entire trip, at least my dad and boyfriend have been drinking every night! Sometimes I feel disgusted and annoyed, other times, left out and mad at myself for being an alcoholic, other times thinking, if they can drink this way, why can't I?!

I'm sorry for venting but I really feel like I'm going crazy. I hate it. I just wish we could do things that don't involve everyone else drinking. Of course, my mom and two younger (pre-teen) siblings don't drink, but, I watch what the drinkers are doing, not them, because I'm a friggin' alcoholic, and I hate it.



PS today I'm obviously no longer thinking this is easy. :-/

FoundmySelf

I am feeling the same thing tonight Pigtails. I have a housefull of company that has been here for three days and they have done nothing but consume alcohol since they arrived. Beer, Rum, Paralizers, Vodka, Caesar's, baileys, all over the time. I am 104 days sober today and finding it very hard. I caught myself reaching for my husbands drink tonight and quickly had to pull myself away.

Stay strong Pigtails. We can do this together

Nirvana1

Learn to not compare how you feel inside by other people's outsides. What may look like fun or a jealous situation may be pure hell for them. As you've admitted, drinking for you is a nightmare, so just stay in the reality of the situation. I know how hard it is because my family and old friends drink all the time. I had to cut down the time I spent around any drinkers, including family and friends, to get some clarity. It's not normal to be around drunks, so you feeling out of place is actually what you should be feeling.

ovrock

I know that feeling. And I have to change my circle of friends which will be really hard. Family? Well I do not have a clue how I am going to address that..

My advice, think of yourself first. Think of why YOU cannot drink. Try not to get frustrated. I did today, and I honestly feel that because my body was so weak, I knew I couldn't drink. I dodged a bullet...

Stay strong, and try to keep calm.... Remember the prayer of serenity...

Dee74

I eventually found I just had to accept that my relationship with alcohol was different to everyone elses - what was a couple of beers over dinner for someone else was likely to be the start of a week long bender for me.

There is fun, there is excitement, there is pleasure and there is contentment without alcohol PT - even if it's hard to remember that sometimes.

Stay strong

D

steelmagnolia

I know how you guys feel! I always say...if I could drink like them...I'd do it everyday!

DayTrader

Early in recovery, as you are Pigtails, many need to stay away from ppl drinking, bars, clubs and so forth.

For me, it wasn't a big deal to be around booze or ppl drinking but I was in the minority in that regard I suppose.

From what I've seen and experienced in AA though, if you're working on recovery.......real recovery.....those feelings will go away. Before long, you won't be bothered by other ppl drinking anymore than you're bothered by pro basketball players dunking balls when you can dunk one yourself.

In a way, those feelings of restlessness and irritability are a good thing......they remind us to not get complacent in our travels through sobriety.

EmeraldRose

Like my Mother used to say "if Johnnie jumped off the bridge, would you jump, too?" I've realized in my adult sober days that everyone does things differently -and it may or may not be in my best interest to follow. I try to think of myself all the time and how any situation would affect me and would it be a good choice -for me. Just because you drive without a seatbelt, does that mean I would want to, too. Making choices for myself at this particualr point of my life is very important to me to be able to take control over what I do or don't want to do and not be a follower.
I feel like my life is very managable and I decipher between what is good for my life and what is not -whereas, last year I may not have cared. I KNOW what the drinking will do...and sure, people drink all the time...but is it good for me? There are things in any situation that will bother me and I can't let that affect MY judgement of where my happiness should lie.

onlythetruth

Pigtails, I used to feel that way a lot. "It's not fair!"

Then one evening I went out to dinner with my aunt, who is diabetic and has borderline mental functioning. As I was sitting there with her, it occurred to me how unfair it was for her that she couldn't eat dessert, and worse than that, could really never function normally in society.

The comparison shocked me as I realized that life is NEVER fair, not for anyone, and that in comparison with my aunt I was by far, the lucky one.

Pigtails, you are a young, highly educated, healthy professional with your whole life ahead of you. In reality the deck of life has been stacked in your favor.

doggonecarl

Those thoughts are the dying temors of your addictive mind...It tried to convince you sobriety was easy, now it's making you resent that others can drink. stay strong. If anyone has relapsed and felt good about it, they aren't posting that to SoberRecovery.