Nirvana1

Many people use quitting as their New Years resolution, but don't actually take the steps towards a plan of recovery. What can you do differently than everyone else this Jan 1st?

Start working a plan and actually do the work. If you've set your date for the new year, use that day to dive into a recovery program. AA works for many, Rational Recovery has a program, and there are other programs where you are asked to take action. Setting a future date, especially Jan 1st, is a great start but it's the easiest step that a problem drinker takes. Yes it is a big step to acknowledge and plan a day to quit, but trust me, there are a lot more steps that are needed on top of the first steps.

I would hope that this thread could generate some ideas for what action some people are planning to take so that they don't fall into the New year's resolution trap.

Lastly, no matter how many days someone has sober, the person who wakes up the earliest on Jan 1st will be sober the longest of 2012!

I hope everyone has a safe and happy new year.

DisplacedGRITS

I suppose a lot of people wait for Jan 1 but why wait? Why be smashed for New Years Eve? Why bother going to a party you won't even remember? Why risk yourself being around other people who are wasted? Start today and have a hangover free New Years.

Write out a sobriety plan. What are your triggers? How can you cope with them without using? How will you approach New Years Eve? Will you tell your close friends? Will they respect your decision and maybe help you? There is no time like today. Start comitting yourself. If you really want to drink New Years Eve, at least don't go on a massive binge to say "goodbye" to alcohol/drugs. It could kill you. Anyways, do you really want to act the fool that night? Do you really want that hangover? Commit to sobriety. It's better than the alternative.

Lost3000

LOL - you must have read my thread on Vacation and Quitting!

I'm one of those Jan. 1 people you speak of. I didn't decide to make this my New Years resolution, more that about 3 weeks ago I realized I really do have a problem, and Jan. 1 works for my schedule so to speak.

First things first, I'm heading to breakfast with DH. After that, I'm going to the gym. Our gym is very resort-ish, complete with spas, massage, pools, etc. While I'm there, I suspect my DH (non-drinker, non Alkie) will be working on our plan, which is removing all alcohol from our house. I won't know where it goes and I don't care, as long as it's not sitting there in its usual spot when I come back.

After that, a movie. Then, a nice dinner at a place that doesn't offer alcohol (we enjoy mom and pops that are ethnic, there are many I can think of that don't have alcohol there). Then, hopefully, sleep.

For the rest of the week, I have my work. Then for the times I would normally drink, AA mtgs and or gym.

Wish me luck!

choublak

Jan 1st?

Why not now?

Sorry, I just never quite "got" New Years resolutions.

Jabbadabutt

I did not plan to pick Jan 1st as my start date almost one year ago. It just kinda happended that way. The stuff hit the fan as they say. I find it pretty ironic but it is what I got. I think sometimes you don't pick the date....the date picks you.

Bikeguy

I don't make New Years resolutions, I think anything that is worth changing should be done ASAP, but I know it does work for some people and I wish them the best of luck.

Nirvana1

This is my thinking but I've heard so many people say that Jan 1st is the day that I felt like pointing out the trap with setting Jan 1st as the day to quit.

Hopefully I can help someone have their sobriety stick, and was trying to point out how it's not good to pick Jan 1st without putting in any work - hence the new year's resolution trap.

DisplacedGRITS

Good going Lost3000! My husband is also a non drinker now and removed all the alcohol from the house. It's wonderful to have someone who will support you in your sobriety but not in your addiction. He's my partner in sobriety!

Thanks for the thread Nirvina1. Now is the time for the New Years Resolutioners to really get it in their heads to make plans for sobriety so it dosen't catch them off guard. I just want everyone who drcides to indulge New Years Eve to be safe, don't drink to excess and please PLEASE don't drive or ride with anyone who's been drinking.

New Years Eve Protip: sparkling grape or pear juice is a lovely champaign alternative.

choublak

I just feel like if someone is going to quit drinking (or make any other life changes) because it's New Years and you need a resolution, you're doing it for the wrong reason. Ever go to a gym at the beginning of January? It's packed with people in their brand-new designer workout clothes, working on their New Years resolution to lose weight. Most of these people are gone by the end of the month though.

Terminally Unique

I've seen posts from people who are putting off quitting until January 1st, and ideally it will stick. I do have to wonder, though, what happens if it doesn't stick? Are they going to wait until January 1, 2013 to try quitting again? That is the hidden trap.

FT

Just think of how fewer alcohol related deaths there would be this year if EVERYONE who plans to quit on January 1st would do it now. I don't know the stats, but New Year's Eve probably tops the charts at least with car accident fatalities every year.

Just a thought.

FT

Lost3000

Yep, I can see all of your points. And I knew I'd get some grief on it.

But I'm doing what feels right to me. It's not a resolution. I like the date because NYE is my favorite holiday of the year. I feel that each year is a new beginning. I want a new life. And I'm serious about it. I didn't just randomly pick the date and if I fail I'll start up again right then. It wasn't until a few weeks ago I came to the light and saw I really do have a problem. That took me years and years to admit.

Lost3000

I don't think I've ever attempted driving on NYE. That's what taxis are for.

Lost3000

I have to say, I understand the naysayers with people who want to quit Jan. 1, but instead of tearing them down and shooting down their plans, (ahem, mine), how about a little support? If I fall on my *ss you can then laugh and say, told you so. Or you could offer a supporting word and cheer me on. Just sayin'.

Lost3000

I'd like to reiterate, this is NOT my resolution. It's my commitment to quitting, my contract with myself. I'm sharing it in case it helps someone else, and so that I too can get encouragement here.

I'm reposting from the reasons I have already given on my Vacation and Quitting thread:

Honestly I can give you reasons but they'll sound like excuses. Of course, please keep in mind that you don't know me or my situation.

Mainly, I feel that I will have a high likelihood of failing if I try to quit now. I work in the legal field, a profession ripe with alcohol problems. And the month of Dec. is extremely volatile, stressful, and full of events all surrounding alcohol at one point or another. I also have plans on NYE for a dinner/show and I doubt having one day of sobriety will lead me to a successful evening of sobriety on NYE.

I feel that while I do work in a stressful field, that often involves social gatherings and client meetings and alcohol, that if I quit at the early part of the year and get several months under my belt, I'll be better equipped to handle those touchy situations. Hope this makes sense and thank you for your support. You can count on seeing me here Jan. 1.

FT

Yes, in a field rife with alcohol problems, you have a bird's eye view on the fallout they create as well.

Actually, I see nothing wrong with a well-thought-out plan to quit drinking. Having said that, are all your plans hatched WHILE drinking?

An interesting thing happens after you quit drinking and become comfortable as a non-drinker. Drinkers no longer look like fun-loving, having-a-blast-people, so much as gradually incoherent sad folks as the alcohol soaks the dopamine receptors and the mental clarity flies out the window.

I don't look down on drinkers in particular, especially the kind who really do view the holidays as fun social events. I'm sure you see it in the faces of the drinkers at the events you attend, I mean the difference between celebration and getting soused.

Take that taxi. Keep that agreement with yourself. You'll probably like it better on the other side of this.

FT

Lost3000

FT: Nope, all plans are made when I'm sober. I've also had very somber (and sober) talks with my husband about my plan. He's on board.

I do have a bird's eye view of the problems created by alcohol. And I'm not oblivious to it, I know it can and will happen to me if I continue. This year I lost a colleague to suicide. He was having such a hard time, I hope his passing brought him some peace. It was really hard on the rest of us though. I can still picture him sauntering down the hall.

I've already had that view of the drinkers you mention - 3 yrs ago when I actually did obtain sobriety for a whopping 4 mos. It's hard to ascertain the fun loving drinkers and boozers at my events - my field is full of people with high egos and they are masters at hiding things.

My husband is a natural non-drinker. We have tickets to dinner and a show, so I doubt it'll be an all night binge-fest. I will be drinking though, and he will be driving.

I'm looking forward to the real world. Thanks.

Dee74

I'd hate to anyone to think I was tearing them down.

I spent twenty years as a drinker - the last 5 of those I drank everyday all day.

I had a *lot* of I'll quit tomorrows, next weeks, after my birthdays, after that party, after I do this job...

Mostly they went by - 'what's another day'?
I appreciate the people reading this are not me, but it's my experience.

There's an old saying - the best time to plant a tree is 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

If I'd known how good my life would be sober, I wouldn't have wasted another day drinking.

that's where I'm coming from.

D

onlythetruth

Well, one thing I know is that people DO quit drinking. They do it every day (including January 1!!!) and they do it in all sorts of different ways. I'll not tear down your resolution! My date chose me, like someone else said; but there's nothing wrong with you choosing yours. Good luck and keep posting!

Lost3000

You certainly aren't tearing down my plan or me! I felt that some posts were overly negative. But I do understand and appreciate where you and others are coming from. Thankfully, I'm still drinking only in the evenings, never before 5pm. I have to get to work early, and I usually work late. So my drinking hasn't progressed to your point yet. But it can, and will, I'm sure of that. I already have a hard time concentrating at work and I can tell my mood is affected. Thank you for sharing your story and being honest with me.