Just ignored the telephone
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Essex, England
Posts: 10
Just ignored the telephone
Dad just phoned with the usual christmas ********. Well it was the last time I answered it 2 years ago. Been no contact for about 6 years now, but my dad insists on phoning every birthday and christmas even though I no longer answer. He is the alchoholic in the family, but I think it was by default as mum was the screaming lunatic vallium addict and dad would rather stop off at the pub on the way home rather than go home and face his wife. Both were emotionally absent, which leaves me stumbling around from one great idea to the next going in circles with work and relationships.
A regular birthday and christmas phone call gives the impression of a loving parent, but I know that if I take the call it would leve me very much wishing I hadn't, being left feeling not worthy. I find the contradictions in all this the most difficult as do most by the seems of it.
Sometimes I wish they would hurry up and die, (in their 70's) but that would bring a whole lot more ****** from siblings who are angry in denial
A regular birthday and christmas phone call gives the impression of a loving parent, but I know that if I take the call it would leve me very much wishing I hadn't, being left feeling not worthy. I find the contradictions in all this the most difficult as do most by the seems of it.
Sometimes I wish they would hurry up and die, (in their 70's) but that would bring a whole lot more ****** from siblings who are angry in denial
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Hello there michael2, and pleased to "meet" you 
I did the "no contact" thing with my alkie parents, worked very well for me. My father never stopped the phone calls or letters either. Now that you mentioned it I think he was also doing it to impress people around him rather than reaching out to me. Eventually I got a second telephone installed and gave that new number to everybody other than family. The "family phone" I unplugged from the wall so I didn't even have to listen to the ring.
Now I have my own "family of choice" that I have collected over the years. We had a very mellow and healthy holiday.
I'm glad you decided to join us
Mike
I did the "no contact" thing with my alkie parents, worked very well for me. My father never stopped the phone calls or letters either. Now that you mentioned it I think he was also doing it to impress people around him rather than reaching out to me. Eventually I got a second telephone installed and gave that new number to everybody other than family. The "family phone" I unplugged from the wall so I didn't even have to listen to the ring.
Now I have my own "family of choice" that I have collected over the years. We had a very mellow and healthy holiday.
I'm glad you decided to join us
Mike
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 11
Hi Michael,
Glad you didn't answer. I haven't heard from either of my folks today and probably won't. Ok, by me. I'm just sitting in my quiet house alone today and playing with my new Kindle I got for Christmas. No drama for me anymore. Like you, I had MORE than enough growing up with two nitwits for "parents".
Glad you didn't answer. I haven't heard from either of my folks today and probably won't. Ok, by me. I'm just sitting in my quiet house alone today and playing with my new Kindle I got for Christmas. No drama for me anymore. Like you, I had MORE than enough growing up with two nitwits for "parents".
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
I sure do understand, and, I am so sorry that we have to either deal with or avoid toxic people. I have come to the conclusion that avoidance is the answer, the pain of dealing with these people is not worth the pain.
Wishing you and yours a Happy Holiday Season, it is what we make it!
Wishing you and yours a Happy Holiday Season, it is what we make it!
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