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need advice on angry gf

Old 12-23-2011, 05:47 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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need advice on angry gf

Hi all. I find myself here as I'm wondering whether I'm alone in this crazy word. I'll try to keep it short.
My gf and I have been together on and off for 3 years now and I love her more than anything but her drinking is causing major problems. I'd describe her as a binge drinker. When she's sober we're a normal couple and very happy with talks of the future and our lives together but after a drink its the total opposite. As with all couples we have our fallings out but when she's drunk I'm every bad thing under the sun. There's been times when I've been drunk and have caused the row myself but I'd say 9/10 times I don't have to do a thing and I'm in for a tongue lashing. I've always been faithful to her as I have strong morals about cheating but sometimes I feel like I'm been treated like the worse bf in the world. I know she has issues with regards to her father and now I'm left feeling that our happy relationship will forever be tainted by her past. I could give a hundred examples of her behavior. Example, I was picking her up from the pub today, she left work early and went straight to the pub with mates. I left her a voice mail saying I'm going home for a shower then ill pick her up. She claims she never got it and when I said "well I left it to tell you my plans" she switched saying I had an attitude prob and called me a few things I can't write on here. I said fine ill stop at mine tonight. Eventually she phoned acting as if nothing had happens so I arranged to pick her up. Minutes into the journey I was accused of been moody even tho I was feeling fine. Then she started questioning why there was a cd in the passenger side door. I told her my door pocket was full, so was the glove box so I reached over and put it in the passenger side. Instantly I got "who have you had in the car". She then wanted a McDonald's, I said I was broke and would rather spend £10 in Tesco so then I was a tight bf. I then got told the air freshener in my car came from ex who I havnt seen in years. The night went on and on, at one point she even upset her mother with her attitude. I then read an Xmas card her nan had sent and got accused of been dismissive for not noticing my name on it even tho I did. I tried talking to her but as i turned to turn the kettle on I was accused of turning my back on her etc. Long story short this happens 99% of the time when shes had a drink and im worried were due to move in with each other in a few months. We've lived together before but the drink ended that. I really love her and don't want to leave her. She always tells me how much she loves me and is an amazing gf but after a drink it all changes.
I guess I'm looking to see if I'm not alone and if so apart from splitting up what are my options. She won't admit she's in the wrong when she drinks, infact she thinks the opposite.
I don't want to walk on egg shells as I believe that for a relationship to work you have to be yourself and be able to have your say and be heard

Cheers
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Old 12-23-2011, 06:46 PM
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I hope that your girlfriend seeks help for her addiction.

Have you considered AlAnon as a support for yourself?
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Old 12-23-2011, 06:55 PM
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When I drank and called another names (taking their "moral inventory"), I was really saying what I felt about ME.

prayers she stays stopped before her consequences get severe.
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Old 12-23-2011, 06:58 PM
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reread the post. she was just really under the influence, paranoid, feeling less than, which MAY be why she accused you. sounds like me when I drank.
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Old 12-23-2011, 08:24 PM
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Sounds like me when I drank, too. I was confrontational and obnoxious - the exact opposite of the true me. I thought alcohol was making life fun & exciting - but it was warping my personality & making me anxious & edgy. Of course, I didn't see it - & no one could tell me. Nothing more frustrating than trying to reason with someone who's wasted.

I think AlAnon is an excellent idea. I'm glad you came here to discuss this. Let us know how you're doing.
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