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Should my son know his daddy is an Alcoholic?

Old 12-23-2011, 05:30 PM
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Should my son know his daddy is an Alcoholic?

My little boy is four years old, and I've come to the realization that I will need to sober up for good very soon if I don't want my son to have a moment of sudden awareness that his daddy is a drunk. I'd hate for him to see me on one of my monthly benders, and develop a negative opinion of me.

But I also realize that since he carries my genes, he will need to be warned about the possible consequences that drinking could carry for him. Any insight into this concept would be very much appreciated.
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Old 12-23-2011, 05:45 PM
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Being a mother of 4, I understand your concerns. I was adopted and have no idea what my history was. My kids basically grew up with me drinking so I think they will be more careful. Two are in the Army, so I know they drink. My daughter lost a dear friend to drinking and driving and she has vowed to be a DD to her friends. My eldest son drinks on occasion.
If I were you, I'd wait to see where my son's life goes...if he's basically a good student, doesn't get in trouble then let it go till you feel he's ready to hear an earful.
If he cuts school at 13 and ends up in the principals office more than class time you may want to have a chat with him of where is life is heading.
Considering he's only 4, I don't think he's ready for this talk yet. Peace.
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Old 12-23-2011, 05:46 PM
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I'm not a parent but I think you can wait a few years before that talk, Dan

I applaud you for thinking of your son now tho - he may only remember you as sober - wouldn't that be great?

D
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Old 12-23-2011, 05:51 PM
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Yeah, I wouldn't try to lay all of that on him while he's this young. Ten years down the road, I could see how being armed with that piece of knowledge could potentially save him from repeating my own fate.
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Old 12-23-2011, 06:15 PM
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Yes you should get sober, children deserve sober parents. Everybody benefits.
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Old 12-23-2011, 06:30 PM
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I agree with everyone who's saying that there's plenty of time to worry about telling your son about his genetic risks. I'd say the first order of business is actually to quit drinking, so you can set a positive example of what an alcohol-free life looks like.

My kids were 5 and 7 when I quit drinking, and I waited a few years before having "the talk" with them. Or should I say, "the talks"....my kids got quite sick of hearing me yak about how they needed to be careful. But I think it's paid off. They both waited until college to drink, and now (at least at this point) they both appear to be normal, social drinkers.
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