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I confess: I do not want to quit drinking

Old 12-23-2011, 04:31 PM
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I confess: I do not want to quit drinking

I love alcohol too much to quit.

At the same time, I hate myself for being this way.
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Old 12-23-2011, 04:35 PM
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It is not a bad thing for you to recognize this, Seared. It might not be the wisest choice considering some of the troubles you posted about, but it gives you the opportunity to re-evaluate someday.
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Old 12-23-2011, 04:35 PM
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You might want to read "Drinking: A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp.
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Old 12-23-2011, 04:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Seared View Post
I love alcohol too much to quit.
That's why alcoholism ruins peoples lives. They feel alcohol is their friend, love, and their god. Something that you love is something that gives you something back in return, something that is symbolic to your human nature and personality. Alcohol has ruined what your thoughts are, controlled them and it's only destroying you while telling you it's perfectly normal.

Hang overs, throwing up, and feeling depressed because of drinking is a natural sign that something is going on with our bodies that is not right - why we ignore these signs are beyond me. I've ignored the signs that my body was being hurt and damaged for many years.

Your body is the only one you have and you're deciding that loving alcohol is far more important than loving yourself.
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Old 12-23-2011, 04:41 PM
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I did too Seared, until I didn't. Then I quit.
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Old 12-23-2011, 04:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Seared View Post
I love alcohol too much to quit.

At the same time, I hate myself for being this way.
Not sure how you can love anything when apparently you hate yourself, but anyways, good luck with that.

Do note; at some point in the future when alcohol takes over completely and kicks your a$$ for real, this board will be here to help you pick up whatever pieces might be left.
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Old 12-23-2011, 05:18 PM
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I think everyone in recovery has felt the way you do. This site is full of people who loved drinking as much as you do.

We like the good feeling we get from drinking or using. But we hate what it does to us. If you could drink with no negative impact on your life, I would say, more power to you--go on!

But eventually there are consequences. When the negatives outweigh the positives, you have to change something.

(I second the recommendation of Drinking: A Love Story.)
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Old 12-23-2011, 05:31 PM
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I hope you can work out that dilemna Seared - that love hate dichotomy is a tough one.

I used to say I loved drinking - I'm not sure I did now...I liked the lack of responsibility, I liked the feeling of escape, I identified with the hard drinking stereotype...but I was never really happy as a drinker.

I was terrified of change tho - as bad as my life was then, I consoled myself I knew it intimately.

One thing I do know is the longer you drink, the more things you lose.
That's a certainty.

I hope you're smarter than me.

Merry Christmas
D
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Old 12-23-2011, 05:34 PM
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Okay so you love drinking and don't want to quit. - (I would not brag about it )

Get help now - don't wait for the bitter end !

Lets just see how low a rock bottom you can reach before you get sick and tired of being sick and tired. AND QUIT ! Obviously not there yet. hugh ?

I don't know what it will get you to take - before you stop - completely damage your life? Lose everything,? become so physically ill with for example, cirrhosis of the liver - that you might die"??

So go ahead keep drinking - you are destined for a crash at rock bottom. Then you will wake up to the reality of what you have been doing to yourself ! SELF destruction !!
and truly seek help !
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Old 12-23-2011, 05:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Seared View Post
I love alcohol too much to quit.

At the same time, I hate myself for being this way.
For me, feeling this way was the essence of my addiction. Things were like that for so long that I thought they would never change....that they never COULD change. But eventually, the pain of self hatred came to outweigh the pain of quitting something I "loved". I'm still not entirely sure why the balanced tilted, but it did.
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Old 12-24-2011, 11:05 AM
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What does having a plan in place mean? Planning to not drink?
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Old 12-24-2011, 11:09 AM
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Having a plan in place means a plan to help you not drink. Whether it be AA and a sponsor, or some other form of face-to-face support. Someone to call when the cravings hit. Coming here helps. A plan means steps you plan to take when you are feeling weak and the alcoholic voice is trying to charm you into having just one.
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Old 12-24-2011, 11:19 AM
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Well I know I'll be okay today and tomorrow, because there's no alcohol where I'm going, and all the liquor stores are closed. I guess I'll make a more long-term plan when the time comes?
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Old 12-24-2011, 11:21 AM
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Seared: I'm sure you've heard the expression "those who fail to plan, plan to fail", and that is essentially the idea. It really boils down to common sense.

What I found was that the first piece of the puzzle was making the decision that I was not going to drink anymore. But of course, that decision was much easier to make than it was to follow through on, so the second piece of the puzzle was the commitment to follow through NO MATTER WHAT. Well, the NO MATTER WHAT piece was where I needed a plan, because things DID happen that could have gotten in the way if I'd let them. Things like physical cravings, uncomfortable emotions, and social situations where others were drinking. Some of those could be avoided (like social situations) but others (like cravings and feelings) could not. So I needed to decide ahead of time what to do when they happened (I quickly found out that expecting not to have cravings and uncomfortable feelings was not realistic).

So, what is your plan?
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Old 12-24-2011, 11:22 AM
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Originally Posted by Seared View Post
Well I know I'll be okay today and tomorrow, because there's no alcohol where I'm going, and all the liquor stores are closed. I guess I'll make a more long-term plan when the time comes?
I think what we're suggesting is that the time HAS come. The time to make a plan is BEFORE you're in the bad situation, not after.
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Old 12-24-2011, 11:26 AM
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Originally Posted by onlythetruth View Post
I think what we're suggesting is that the time HAS come. The time to make a plan is BEFORE you're in the bad situation, not after.
I meant like, sometime tomorrow.
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Old 12-24-2011, 11:36 AM
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'I confess: I do not want to quit drinking'

I wouldn't call that an especially big-time secret.
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Old 12-24-2011, 12:20 PM
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I actually do want to, and plan to, quit drinking. The original post was not actually written by me. Apologies for any confusion.

I have been having some trouble following through. Tomorrow will be two weeks. Thanks for all your help.
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Old 12-24-2011, 06:52 PM
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You must decide for yourself when the time is right. Being forced into recovery almost never works. If you want to quit, try making a list. Pros and cons of drinking. I found my cons list to be staggeringly longer than my pros list. I also started making plans on things to do to make me feel better about myself which deters me from drinking. Good luck with dipping your toes into the pool of sobriety. Eventually you will find things to occupy the hole in your life that alcohol used to fill.
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Old 12-24-2011, 07:02 PM
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[QUOTE=Gerbosko;3215657]That's why alcoholism ruins peoples lives. They feel alcohol is their friend, love, and their god.

I have been struggling with how I lost my walk with God for somebody who is quite faithful. Then you nailed it, at some point alcohol became my God. It was all down hill from there.
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