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DEE put me where I need to go.

Old 12-23-2011, 02:49 PM
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DEE put me where I need to go.

Please put me in the class where I need to go because I don't know where to go.

I found a class here and I think I might go? What do you think?

I'm drinking and still find time to come here?

Can I get sober? Of course I can. Can I live a night without a drink. NO. YES

Please help me I'm falling into why do I drink? Why do I drink?

I'm getting to the stage where I'll go to meetings whatever.

Just finding it so hard - should I go to meetings?

Thanks

Tony
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Old 12-23-2011, 02:59 PM
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Hi Kopfan

the current December class is here
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...2011-a-18.html

they're a great bunch - I know you'll find a great welcome and a lot of support there.

I definitely think what ever you can find in your real life to go to - whether it's AA meetings or some other group, or counselling or whatever - do it.

What have you got to lose but a lot of misery, really, Tony?

The best thing I ever did was stop drinking and stop the despair.

Best wishes mate & Merry Christmas - really hoping 2012 is better for you

D
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Old 12-23-2011, 03:14 PM
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kopfan - I know this was directed to Dee, but I'd like to send you some encouragement and hope. Yes, you can get sober.

I drank my whole life and couldn't imagine getting through a day without it. I thought I needed alcohol to see me through the hard times in my life - to make things easier on myself. It was a lie. All it did was make life more complicated and miserable. You don't need it - you can rise above it - and have a whole new life. We are here to help you.
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Old 12-23-2011, 03:24 PM
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Thanks Heyvn.

I feel so little so ashamed.

So many times I have tried to give up and so easy I have found it to go to the local shop and buy

I've been here since JUly and now I feel like I'm so weak because I've been trying for so long. I feel like It's just getting harder.

But on the nights when when I don't drink everything is so good

Should I tell my wife i am here? I think I should.
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Old 12-23-2011, 03:28 PM
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I don't think it's weak to keep trying

I tried for 15 years...but for most of that time all I did was try - and simply trying not to drink was exhausting for me.

I needed a new game plan - the first thing was support and the second was acceptance that drinking could no longer be a viable option for me.

I had to be prepared to do anything - anything but drink.

It sounds like a lot of work - and it's definitely not a walk in the park?
But looking back I genuinely think drinking like I did was harder, Tony

you'll get there -follow through with finding that support
change the game

D
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Old 12-23-2011, 03:31 PM
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Here to offer support, Kopfan....Hevyn and Dee have been with me like a sister and brother from the beginning...thru rocky starts and stops....and we will stick with you too. You can do this. Thanks to SR, I'm on 4+ years of sobriety after 20 years of "day ones"!
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Old 12-23-2011, 03:37 PM
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Instead of trying so hard and beating yourself up, maybe you could try being gentle with yourself, that's a good place to start. You've been through a lot.
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Old 12-23-2011, 03:38 PM
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You are so right Dee and I am so glad you are here.

I'm finding it so difficult NOT to drink and I think it's because I want to escape reality.

Is that right?

I want to escape living my life?

Do you think that's my problem?

Everytime I am sober for a few days then I have to get pissed. What is wrong with me?

I love my wife and kids and yet I get this urge to get blotto every couple of days. What am I doing?
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Old 12-23-2011, 03:39 PM
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Me too, Kopfan - many years of "day ones" like Jomey said. Nothing to be ashamed of - the shame would be if you stopped trying. You aren't going to do that.

I just went back & read some of your earlier posts. You were filled with hope and courage, and you can get those feelings back. You've had a set back - but you can begin again, and this time can be different. You never have to go back to that sick old life.
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Old 12-23-2011, 03:43 PM
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Originally Posted by mattcake79 View Post
Instead of trying so hard and beating yourself up, maybe you could try being gentle with yourself, that's a good place to start. You've been through a lot.
You are so right. I brought up three kids and whilst it was always a struggle it was always a joy as well. But something is missing now. I don't know what it is but drink has got hold of me.
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Old 12-23-2011, 03:51 PM
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And now I have my own kids to bring up and I should be a good father too them

I am so glad she does not drink anymo?re because where would we be?

I want to put it all behind me. How about a boot camp experience where all drink is forbidden
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Old 12-23-2011, 04:00 PM
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I know how frustrating and hopeless it seems at this point, but be sure that you can do this.

Do it for yourself and to make yourself the person you want to be, and the father you want to be. Many of us tried countless times before we got it right, but we didn't give up, and neither can you.
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Old 12-23-2011, 04:51 PM
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I'm going to throw all the house of drink.
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Old 12-23-2011, 05:35 PM
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I hope this can be your turning point Kopfan
You have a lot of people here barracking for you

D
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Old 12-24-2011, 03:23 AM
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I got my act together and stopped feeling sorry for myself.

It's Christmas Eve! Christmas wishes to everyone here.
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Old 12-24-2011, 03:38 AM
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Good on ya kopfan! You've got the heart and support to make it. You hear it all the time but one day (heck, even one hour or one minute) at a time helps me make it through. Merry Christmas and congrats on your early gift.
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Old 12-24-2011, 03:40 AM
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'I got my act together and stopped feeling sorry for myself.'

Excellent, enjoy the holiday.
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Old 12-24-2011, 06:14 AM
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I'm getting to the stage where I'll go to meetings whatever.

So go to an AA meeting. What have you got to lose except the agony and misery you currently feel? I know alcohol makes those feelings go away for a few hours, but then they come back, even worse.

So go to an AA meeting. Introduce yourself. Say "Hi, I'm kopfan and alcohol is making my life miserable, and I'm looking for help." I pretty sure an hour later when you walk out of the meeting you will feel better than when you walked in.
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