still wanting to drink
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: cleveland, oho
Posts: 57
still wanting to drink
I have been to multiple rehabs, have had multiple duis, job loss, family problems, you name it. I am a full blown alcoholic. Once I start, I cant stop. I want more. I have a sponsor, go to 3-4 aa meetings a week, but STILL want to drink. I completed my fifth step. I thought some of this would lessen my desire to drink. BUT, I think about it everyday. I dream about going to a bar and hanging out. When does it go away. Will it?
It can if you want it to. We all have had bad past experiences...ones that we just assume forget. I have found that by turning the bad past thoughts into future good thoughts it makes life more progressive and not stuck on an alcoholic plateau.
I use my past as fuel to motivate what I want to accomplish now and in the future.
First, consider goals that you have in the future. You have to start thinking outside the box. Do you WANT to be able to hold a job, pay your bills and move ahead as a productive member of society? Or would you rather sit in the house and whine about what you've lost over the past during drinking?
Use your past as a learning tool...you're an alcoholic, you are going to want to drink...but considering what happens when you do -what is your other option? Move ahead and as I've found that the more thoughts I have to promote myself in the real world the less I find I pity myself for the past.
I'm about half way through my life and its kind of the same thinking 'the glass is half full or half empty'. I prefer to have the rest of my life living a full rich life of enjoyments, grandson, good friends and good health.
Not an empty hollow soul living day to day sucking booze.
I use my past as fuel to motivate what I want to accomplish now and in the future.
First, consider goals that you have in the future. You have to start thinking outside the box. Do you WANT to be able to hold a job, pay your bills and move ahead as a productive member of society? Or would you rather sit in the house and whine about what you've lost over the past during drinking?
Use your past as a learning tool...you're an alcoholic, you are going to want to drink...but considering what happens when you do -what is your other option? Move ahead and as I've found that the more thoughts I have to promote myself in the real world the less I find I pity myself for the past.
I'm about half way through my life and its kind of the same thinking 'the glass is half full or half empty'. I prefer to have the rest of my life living a full rich life of enjoyments, grandson, good friends and good health.
Not an empty hollow soul living day to day sucking booze.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Vashon WA
Posts: 1,035
Don't take this the wrong way--I'm saying to myself as much as anyone--beware of self pity. Take sobriety as a fine gift. Treat it with joy. You don't need a stinky, boring old bar anymore. Those people are zombies.
I think the only real solution is to find a passion in life that overrides the desire to drink. You obviously know the outcome of drinking. It will be more of the same. I don't know that 10 meetings a week, sponsors, God, etc. would keep me from drinking. The only way I finally started to get well was to get out and force myself to do other things. Find passions in life that were my driving force. Passions that I knew that I could not pursue and drinking would kill. There were also times I mislabeled normal emotions and anxieties as cravings for alcohol, when in fact it was merely that alcohol was my old solution to these. Concentrating only on working on the alcohol problem is also concentrating on alcohol. Work on something else, but always keep in the back of your mind that alcohol will interfere in anything you want to do. Awfulizing never helped me. I merely understand that drinking really does nothing for me, but much to me.
I have heard many people say it does go away, lessen, and become less frequent. I too have been to multiple treatments, but in my extended periods of sobriety I found that it got less and less, and that I'd go for a while not thinking of it.
I try and give myself a break. Of course I think about having a drink - it's what I've been doing half my life to this point. It'll take some time and effort to get past that. Every time I have that thought I can't beat myself up for it, or I'll end up drinking again.
I try and give myself a break. Of course I think about having a drink - it's what I've been doing half my life to this point. It'll take some time and effort to get past that. Every time I have that thought I can't beat myself up for it, or I'll end up drinking again.
The craving or desire to drink is perfectly normal. Don't try to make it go away. You can't "get rid of it "
It is an impermanent thought and will pass on its own.
The important thing is not that you have the craving- - - but that you do NOT act on the craving or urges.
Discuss this well. ventilate with sponsor, group, Find out HOW THEY HAVE DEALT WITH IT !
After all YOU MISS IT !- that is perfectly normal and natural - it is a loss - - - it was part of your socialization.
We can stay dry with our urges and craving 1 hour at a time then 1 day at time.
Eventually these thoughts and feelings which are temporary - - will pass.
When you are able to substitute the joy of recovery for your prior drinking behavior,
make new friends in recovery, only hang around recovering people.
You will miss it less and less - have other aspects of your life which are joyful, sober, to focus on.
Don't be discouraged - it runs its course - Don't blame yourself or be angry at yourself !! for the urges and cravings - - - Just : Don't drink for today !
This program is TRULY - One Day At A Time !!!
Dr IraB
It is an impermanent thought and will pass on its own.
The important thing is not that you have the craving- - - but that you do NOT act on the craving or urges.
Discuss this well. ventilate with sponsor, group, Find out HOW THEY HAVE DEALT WITH IT !
After all YOU MISS IT !- that is perfectly normal and natural - it is a loss - - - it was part of your socialization.
We can stay dry with our urges and craving 1 hour at a time then 1 day at time.
Eventually these thoughts and feelings which are temporary - - will pass.
When you are able to substitute the joy of recovery for your prior drinking behavior,
make new friends in recovery, only hang around recovering people.
You will miss it less and less - have other aspects of your life which are joyful, sober, to focus on.
Don't be discouraged - it runs its course - Don't blame yourself or be angry at yourself !! for the urges and cravings - - - Just : Don't drink for today !
This program is TRULY - One Day At A Time !!!
Dr IraB
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,677
We've been talking about this very thing on the AVRT thread in the secular connections part of this forum.
You might want to check it out to get a little different viewpoint on whether urges are something to extinguish or to work with.
FT
You might want to check it out to get a little different viewpoint on whether urges are something to extinguish or to work with.
FT
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 413
Hi there, the craving does go away, it just is the case that people are different I suppose. for me, it is not the craving that would put me back drinking, it is living stuck in my head that would! We are addicts and this is our business, getting out of our heads. So we have to stop doing it and live in them, at least learn to. Support all the way my friend, I hope it gets better for you and easier too.
In my view, we do not try to " extinguish" the urges -they really can't be extinguished anyway !
We can use behavioral modification techniques - but most important is to TURN ASIDE
from the urges ( they are like delusional thoughts in the schizophrenic)
We can learn to substitute = healthy urges for the ones to drink.
We can take our urges to a meeting and discuss them - see how others deal with the urges.
We can take them to our sponsor to discuss them
We can do step work on the urges.
URGES are not the major problem - it is the acting on them - -= that is !
Just don't drink 1 hour then 1 day at a time
and Keep coming back. It works if you work it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We can use behavioral modification techniques - but most important is to TURN ASIDE
from the urges ( they are like delusional thoughts in the schizophrenic)
We can learn to substitute = healthy urges for the ones to drink.
We can take our urges to a meeting and discuss them - see how others deal with the urges.
We can take them to our sponsor to discuss them
We can do step work on the urges.
URGES are not the major problem - it is the acting on them - -= that is !
Just don't drink 1 hour then 1 day at a time
and Keep coming back. It works if you work it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 567
And clarity of what a "urge" is, what a "craving" is, when does a craving kick in.
The clarity of this phase on the journey in recovery is paramount to all other key factors to.
So what is the clarity?
Thought, obsess over the thought, succumb to that obsession and take a drink.
Once the drink is taken then the craving kicks in to drink more. At the same time the alcohol has reached the brain and the change in personality starts, which deludes perception while we succumb to another drink cos the craving gets stronger and we get weaker and from there it snowballs, to blackout.
A vicious cycle.
If this is identified from a recovered to the suffering,then this experience can be passed on and hopefully recovery snowballs instead.
Trick is to retain recovery.
To retain recovery, then work with another suffering if you have recovered. The buzz is that the suffering "gets it" and to watch that happen is like a light bulb lights up in the eyes of the once suffering.
There is no other buzz quite like it.
It's spiritual.
The clarity of this phase on the journey in recovery is paramount to all other key factors to.
So what is the clarity?
Thought, obsess over the thought, succumb to that obsession and take a drink.
Once the drink is taken then the craving kicks in to drink more. At the same time the alcohol has reached the brain and the change in personality starts, which deludes perception while we succumb to another drink cos the craving gets stronger and we get weaker and from there it snowballs, to blackout.
A vicious cycle.
If this is identified from a recovered to the suffering,then this experience can be passed on and hopefully recovery snowballs instead.
Trick is to retain recovery.
To retain recovery, then work with another suffering if you have recovered. The buzz is that the suffering "gets it" and to watch that happen is like a light bulb lights up in the eyes of the once suffering.
There is no other buzz quite like it.
It's spiritual.
Don't know how long you've been sober, but in my experience so far it seems like the urges go away in time. Keep working the steps and give it time.
Now, if you've been sober for years and years then ignore what I said.
Now, if you've been sober for years and years then ignore what I said.
You can obsess about terms like cravings and urges - BUT the most important thing is NOT to take the first drink !
I strongly advise a written relapse prevention on index card which you carry to help prevent you from doing just that - "taking the first drink "
I strongly advise a written relapse prevention on index card which you carry to help prevent you from doing just that - "taking the first drink "
Lots of interesting suggestions here Ryan, maybe some of the tricks will work for you but if you're a chronic alkie like I am, you'll find that lack of power is your dilemma as well. If so, many of the tricks and techniques for not drinking will NEVER work. But you said you just finished your 5th step.....so you're working the program. That's been THE one thing that'll work for a tried and true chronic alcoholic. Keep working the steps...hopefully under the guidance of someone who's worked them and found their own spiritual awakening.......and you'll find, like I did, that your entire life will change and those cravings will disappear with them.
Do you pray everyday? Do you ask Him to remove your cravings? Do you thank Him at night for keeping you sober during the day?
Speak up in meetings about how you are feeling. Do volunteer work. Go bless someone. Do something that will get you out of your head.
Did you do an complete and honest 4th and 5th step to the very best of your ability?
God bless.
Speak up in meetings about how you are feeling. Do volunteer work. Go bless someone. Do something that will get you out of your head.
Did you do an complete and honest 4th and 5th step to the very best of your ability?
God bless.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)