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I Have Failed Again

Old 12-22-2011, 10:39 AM
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Fdm
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Unhappy I Have Failed Again

After joining the December class and making it 8 days, I failed.

Lately, I have switched from beer to Kraken rum, and I'm feeling it every morning. What a mistake.

I even found myself last night, happily buzzed, thinking "What the hell am I doing?". To make matters worse, I am exhibiting signs of the flu.

I'm not one to binge drink, but I drink every night. The rum kick is EVIL, for sure.
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Old 12-22-2011, 10:43 AM
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Fdm.. 2 things. 1 you joined SR. That was a start. 2 you made it 8 days. You have not failed.. you have taken 2 steps forward and 1 step back. Now take 2 more steps forward.

What steps will they be. For sure dump the rum out. Yes it is EVIL.

Keep reading and keep posting. Best wishes

Jim
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Old 12-22-2011, 10:57 AM
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This isn't really a popular opinion, but I have heard some people in AA with a lot of sober time express it. Maybe you just aren't done drinking yet? Maybe you still enjoy drinking more than not? I am remembering just how horrible my life was before I quit. I don't ever want that back. I still want to drink without those consequences though. I always try to think of ways to go back to drinking.

Just getting alcohol out of my life isn't enough for me. I need more than this mundane sober life or I know that I am going to fail too. I hope we can find ways to stay sober. I hope we can find worthwhile ways to spend our time. I hope we can meet people that we can genuinely admire and spend time with in our sobriety.
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Old 12-22-2011, 12:00 PM
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Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get going again! Use the relapse - try to figure out why you drank, add a new tool to the box, do something new to enhance your sober journey. YOU CAN DO IT. Anyone who is still trying hasn't failed.
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Old 12-22-2011, 12:37 PM
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Hi Fdm

I'm glad you're back - to me that means that you do in fact have the desire to be done

Fan it, encourage it - don't be afraid to reach out for help

what have you been doing for support?

what else can you add now to whatever you've been doing to help you get out of the vicious cycle you're in?

For example - have you considered a recovery group like AA, or SMART? Maybe see a Dr, or a counsellor? Is inpatient or outpatient rehab an option?

whatever you do, you need to take action now and break that numbing cycle of daily drinking - you can do this

D
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Old 12-23-2011, 04:21 AM
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I left work early yesterday with a fever and sore throat. I slept from 2PM to 1030PM, and then from 11PM to 6PM. Maybe being sick at the same time I'm not drinking is a hidden blessing.

As far as AA, I live in a small town and hold a very visible public position. That is not an option for me.
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Old 12-23-2011, 05:00 AM
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In small towns you're right, word gets around about everything. What do you suppose they're saying about you nowadays?

If they started whispering instead 'psst...Fdm joined AA and doesn't get drunk anymore or act like he/she used to'...wouldn't that be an improvement?
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Old 12-23-2011, 05:49 AM
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FDM you didn't fail. You made it 8 days. You can do this. I know how hard it is...I am only on day 13. If I can make it to 13 so can you.
I dont know if this will work for you but I have found that when I am craving a drink if I eat something sweet it helps. I wouldn't recommend the whole bag of tootsie roll pops like I did the other night......but maybe a little sugar would help cut the craving right now.
Hang in there and keep posting. You can do this.
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Old 12-23-2011, 09:21 AM
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'I'm not one to binge drink, but I drink every night.'

Take a look at some of the other posts in the newcomer section. You'll find several who are sure they really don't have a problem because although they binge drink, they are not one to drink every night.

Flip side of the same coin.
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Old 12-23-2011, 10:44 AM
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You can start to stay stopped now. As long as alcohol was my solution, the only solution I knew, that is what I sought. You can stay stopped, too!
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