kosher

hi ive just joined because of my sister. she is seven years older than me and is an alcoholic. i love her very much. shes a very warm hearted person. when she was only 2 years old she had to spend almost a year in hospital because of an undiagnosed illness. this has since been resolved, thank god but she is now in her 40s, separated with three children and an alcoholic. her addiction started in her late teens. she had to struggle with a lot when she was younger. but now her eldest child has left school at 14, become involved at 15 in petty crime for which a charge is pending and is taking drugs.
My difficulty is assessing how much of my nieces (I have three nieces) problems are due to my sister's alcoholism and how do i help. I was paying money towards her car every month but stopped several months ago as was told this was enabling.
I have tried simply ignoring my sister, her requests for help when her kids are acting up. she has a lot of anger (much of it justified) towards her ex-husband.
how do i help her? I can easily meet up for coffee with her (she looks quite disshevelled at the moment) and we can ignore it and have a nice time.
i feel i suppose that is some support to her as she is quite isolated.
I have tried bringing up her drinking but she always side-steps it. I found out she was drinking with her eldest daughter and that broke my heart.
Do I simply ignore the carcrash that is her life. I love her and want to help her and to help my nieces.
also my mother widowed is asking me to help the family.
sorry if post a bit askew. this is hard to put into words.

Dee74

Hi Kosher

Welcome to SR. I'm sorry for your situation - I can only imagine it's more difficult to know what is the right thing to do when children are involved.

You'll find a lot of experience understanding and support here

We have a Friends and Family forum here too that you may want to check out as well:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ily-alcoholics

good to have you with us
D

Hevyn

kosher - welcome to SR. I know you'll find help & reassurance in Friends & Family. There are some amazing people here who have been where you are.

I'm so glad you found us and reached out for help. I was once in your sister's shoes, and denied there was a problem for many years - it is confusing and frustrating to deal with. Your sister is fortunate indeed to have someone like you to care about her - and to look for answers. I hope you'll feel less anxious for having brought this out into the open here. We care about you.