sweetjess1951

I posted a while ago about my ex who broke up with me. During our time together, he would get wasted on a regular basis, received a DUI and was arrested for possession of cocaine and marijuana. I thought that after his arrest things would change and he would fix his life. Well they didn't. In fact, he started going out a lot more and getting really drunk and continued to lie to me about where he was and what he was doing. Of course, he blamed his lying on me, saying that I would get mad and that he was "avoiding an argument". His reason for breaking up with me was because "he needed to focus on himself for a while".

Since we have broken up, he has gone out almost every night and spent significant amounts of money. There was even a time he was drunk and decided to walk on a ledge. He fell and busted his face, hands and scratched his legs.

Yesterday he informed me there is a warrant out for his arrest. I asked why and he said that about a month or so ago, he received a ticket for failure to have insurance on his car (in other words, he FORGOT to make his insurance payment). Then, it was obviously too much trouble to take any focus off his partying, etc, he completely forgot his court date for the insurance ticket. Looks really good to have a warrant out for failure to appear while you are trying to get your pending felonies and misdemeanors expunged, right?

I guess his drug arrests weren't his rock bottom.

Willybluedog

Sweetjess, so sorry about the situation, but he must make his own way. The only way I could cope with all my mothers stupidity was to emotionally detach from her, many folks here would recommend you go no-contact.

I know first hand how hard it it to watch someone you love destroy themself, but if you could love them enough to fix them, it would have worked by now.

I hope you will consider couseling and maybe al-anon, I found the only way to get past my ex-wife was to work through it with a therapist.

Best of luck to you, please come back often.

Bill

dollydo

For some addicts the only bottom is death. I would say that my exabf will qualify for that honor.

Good news is that you are no longer involved in his bad decisions...right?

Don't let him rope you in, move forward with your life, no contact may be in order, what he does or does not do shouldn't be your concern.

Take care of you.

marie1960

SweetJess,

Actions speak louder than words, his actions are speaking.

I agree with Dolly, he is no longer your concern.

You are very fortunate to have ended this toxic situation.

Sometimes the bottom is deeper than they/we know. If they go too deep they may not have enough air to swim to the surface.

Put one foot in front of the other and go live the life that awaits YOU, this guy sounds like t-r-o-u-b-l-e. take care of you...........

suki44883

If you read around the forums, you'll see that many of us got DUIs,some got multiple DUIs, some went to jail, some went to jail multiple times, some were hospitalized, some were even close to death. Some continued to drink. We cannot determine what is someone else's bottom. They have to find that themselves and sadly, many never do.

If he is your ex, then this is not your problem. Things are going to get a lot worse for him before they get better, so your best bet would be to cut off communication with him and take care of yourself. It sucks, but we can't help them and knowing what all they are into only makes us upset. You don't need that.

Cyranoak

Why are you still involved with our ex? Broken up is broken up but you are still involved in the drama (drama addiction?). Alanon will help you answer this question, and it will also help you make better decisions about who to date.

Good luck,

Cyranoak

sweetjess1951

He contacted me through text to ask me what the date was that we went to the hockey game. I asked why and that was when he told me that there was a warrant out and needed to know the date he got the ticket which was the day we went to the game.