choublak

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is one mental illness that can look like active alcoholism. Would someone in a relationship with a non-alcoholic who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, possibly benefit from al-anon?

Cyranoak

This is going to be good.

choublak

It's a sincere question, I wasn't trying to start anything if that's what you're implying.

choublak

But, are there similarities as far as codependency is concerned?

nicam

Hi choublak,

I just posted about this here yesterday...

I too was involved with someone with undiagnosed NPD and BPD. People told me I shouldn't diagnose, but I watched him self-cut, about 100 slices with a chef's knife. I've experienced nearly every single diagnostic criteria for both PDs with him, including disassociation, psychotic episodes, perceived abandonment, delusions of grandeur, idealization/devaluation, elaborate lies of self-inflation. He is also an addict and alcoholic. I'm not sure which came first; the chicken or the egg?

Many of stories here are the same as the stories on the friends and family forums of NPDs and BPDs, I know that. Not all alcoholics exhibit sufficient cluster B behaviors to raise the question of an underlying PD though (many suffer from anxiety and/or depression rather), and frequently I'll come across a post here about alcoholism and abuse being two completely separate issues. Abuse is the crux of a relationship with a PD, which is why I believe it requires more specialized treatment to heal from.

The principles of alanon are certainly applicable to recovery from narcissistic abuse, but not enough. If your NPD was not an alcoholic, then you would probably benefit more from finding a PD specialist and starting a therapy routine that will be tailored to your specific needs.

I am so sorry for your pain. PM me if you need to talk.

Learn2Live

Yes, I believe that such a person would benefit from a program such as Al-Anon. The principles of Al-Anon and the 12 Steps have helped in ALL areas of my life, with all kinds of people, not just alcoholics. What I have learned in Al-Anon helps me immensely in dealing with and relating to my sibling who is schizophrenic. Not a PD but a serious mental illness. If someone is interested in attending but do not "qualify," they should look for Open meetings.

GingerM

I think everyone who lives in the world can benefit from al-anon (or at least it's principle tenets) in some way or another. Caveat: I have never attended an al-anon meet, all of my information comes second hand through various means.

I know that the skills, information and insight I learned from various people who have helped me along the way (often using al-anon as guidelines) have helped me work with clients better, work with coworkers better, has improved my (non-alcoholic/addict) marriage, has improved my ability to cope with the Bad Stuff that life throws at me.

If I had to guess, I would say that learning to accept without judgment and learning to forgive without removing responsibility were the two biggest things that have made my existence in this world a whole lot more peaceful. Learning to set boundaries was a big help as well. All three of those would be helpful with an NPD, although the NPD person will have difficulties working with any boundaries you set.