MsGrace

Is it alcoholic behaviors when not drinking? Is it a particular personality trait that defines an alcoholic that claims to have been sober for a period of time? What is it???

mattparadise

I'm starting to wonder myslef. From what I understand, it's just a made up term.

laurie6781

Usually it is a term used to denote someone who has done nothing about their drinking except to not drink. No other changes, no working on one's self, etc Still lies, still steals, still disappears, etc

Here are a whole bunch of articles you can check out:

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Hope that helps,

Love and hugs,

skippernlilg

Yes, what Laurie said. My bio-dad is the perfect example of a Dry Drunk. The world still revolves around him, he still says one thing and means another, he has not mindfully worked on his recovery.... I wonder if he was an alcoholic so long that his brain never fully recovered from the damage to it, because he is irrational, unpredictably moody, arrogant, controlling, etc. I don't believe he was like this before his alcoholism had progressed so far before he got sober.

miamifella

I hate the term "dry drunk" because in the rooms it seems only to mean a person that the speaker does not approve of.

But it does seem to me that there are a number of people who do not take advantage of the opportunity for self-examination and growth that recovery offers. But to label anyone specifically a "dry drunk" seems wrong to me. Like alcoholism, it ought to be seen as a self-diagnosed condition. (Though usually it it is after the fact that this happens.)

NYCDoglvr

There's a saying in AA: if you take the alcohol away from a drunken horse thief you still have a horse thief.

Alcoholics who aren't in a program (Dry Drunk) don't change. They remain angry, self centered, grandiose and have low self-esteem. Generally they a very unpleasant to be around. It's the "ism" of alcoholism we have to deal with after putting down the bottle and it's a life long job. I've done it through AA; I've seen cognitive therapy recommended for recovering alcoholics.

LexieCat

I don't think being a "dry drunk" is defined by not being in a program. I've known people in AA, ostensibly working the Steps, who have not changed inside (suggesting they are not "letting go absolutely") who fit the definition, but I've also known folks who have become sound and healthy in recovery using their own method of recovery. I think a lot depends on how sick (apart from the consumption of alcohol) the alcoholic has become.

I would consider someone who still struggles with the obsession to drink on a daily basis to be a "dry drunk"--all that has changed is that the chemical has been removed. That continuing obsession and the frustration and fear that go along with it beget behavior that is often almost indistinguishable from behavior while actively drinking. Of course, people don't die as a direct result of a "dry drunk"--the alcoholic isn't damaging his/her body, and isn't driving while impaired. Still, a miserable way to live, and usually miserable for other people to be around.

Cyranoak

...first, all terms are made up terms. They don't exist until somebody makes them up. That's why they update dictionaries every year. Being a made up term does not add or subtract from the legitimacy or lack thereof of any term. For example, I've made up the term fidiot. It describes a special type of idiot, one even more idiotic than a standard idiot. My goal is for it to end up in the dictionary.

Secondly, I think NYCDoglvr got it right but I'd add to it. What I'd add is that in my view you can be a dry drunk even if you aren't an alcoholic. To me a dry drunk is anybody who acts like an alcoholic but isn't drinking, either because they don't drink or they've found sobriety.

I know a guy who considers himself a dry drunk and still believes AA saved his life. Personally I think he'd benefit from Alanon but AA seems to be working for him.

Cyranoak

humnbird

I know this has pretty much been answered, but to reiterate, "dry" is something we (in AA) use to refer to someone who is not drinking, but not working a program. and by program I mean meetings, service, and steps. It's also commonly referred to as white "knuckling it", staying sober without AA or a support group. VERY hard to do and impossible for many.

I have many friends and have heard countless speakers with 10+ years talk about dry periods they had, where they stopped going to meetings, calling sponsor, etc and became increasingly restless irritable and discontent, damaged relationships and became miserable, all without a drink.

Sober = recovery and emotional sobriety, sanity