langkah

Wasting time has always struck me as a waste of time, so I felt inspired to put down some thoughts that might serve to reduce the time many new people spend experiencing repeated shipwrecks and getting washed back ashore here time after time. My POV alone.

You're sure you don't really belong here because:

You didn't drink every day...your relative was sober a long time but you're not like him/her...you didn't drink for a whole summer back when you were a kid/old enough to know better...your friends/family/people at the bar say you're ok...you never got fired/divorced/dui/or hit anyone with your left hand...you did 2 rehabs but never felt as if you fit in...you never felt like you were a common crimminal...you're sure you just need to learn the secret and then move on...those things that happened could have happened to anyone that drank that much that often for that long and mean nothing when explained properly...you want very much not to have a problem with drink and that counts for something...

No worries, you belong anyway.

You were doing fine for 6.218 days/10 months/7 years but then drank:

No need for embarassment, it happens. The reasons for drinking that you sold yourself don't matter because they aren't actually reasons and are uniformly ridiculous when examined, which you will see sometime later on after the fact and then be justifiably embarassed for putting them forth as such early on. Best to just be confused about why you drank when you weren't going to drink and let people here explain yourself to you.

You're simmering/agitated/crying/despondent about not drinking anymore as you're sure will happen from this point on:

No worries, if you are one of the very few who do stop you'll grow to absolutely love it. If not you'll become less upset at the prospect of not drinking anymore as the drinking time wears on and on. It's a win-win thing.

If I'm not drinking whatever will I say/do at my infant son's wedding reception/the party the company will give when I retire in 23 years:

It'll work out, no one cares if you're not drunk at those things.

I can't possibly fly/take a bath/party with friends/get the mail/begin a relationship without a drink:

Yes you can.

People here cannot possibly understand the unique qualities of character and the deep underlying causes that have made life so difficult that on occasion you have gone just the tiniest bit overboard just these last months but are on the very edge of working things out wonderfully forever:

Uh yeah, we know. Welcome here.

sugarbear1

Don't forget my favorite special ed saying, "I'm so highly functioning, I just can't be an alcoholic."

Highly functioning really mean one's tolerance is high and the body is pretty much used to the amount consumed....whatever! A drunk is a drunk no matter what they wear!

stages, progression.......

Tigger41

Loved your post - and THANK-YOU for adding the line above.

We Newbies need to hear this ... the really you'll love life sober without drinking at all even if I was high-functioning, raising 4 kids who got good grades, only drank at night, have a great job, everyone else seems to drink as much as me, my father drank more, no one else thinks I have a problem (All thoughts I've had during the past 41 days lol)

Honestly - thanks

collegegirl

Thanks for this. I actually copied and printed it out to keep. I can totally relate to the ridiculous excuses - how can i possibly not drink champagne at my wedding (at least a few years away)? how can i not drink when i finish my masters (a year and a half away)?

I also am trying to re-learn how to do things without alcohol, including: flying, studying, going on dates, cooking, sleeping...

Anyways, thanks for posting that.

Fenris

LOL...that's awesome langkah. Great job summing it up. Very true, very true.

Threshold

I think this is our way of saying to ourselves "If I fool them, I can fool me too!"

the river of denial, pours into the oceans of unhappiness

langkah

continued...(my POV alone)

Stopping drinking will be especially easy for you because:

You've promised your poodle that you won't ever drink...things are tight and you're not about to blow the rent money on booze ever again...you broke your drinking arm...you stayed sober weeks/months/years before by doing a lot then stopped and after a while of doing very little drank, but are now sure that you need do very little because you used to do a lot...your dad/mom/uncle has been sober a long time...your newest BFF is firmly behind you on this...you've got a new Doctor/Guru/liver transplant...you're 66/17 years old.

Sounds really positive, welcome here.

Stopping will be especially hard for you because:

You REALLY like to drink unlike alcoholics...Christmas/New Years/Superbowl/4th of July/yet another bank holiday/Christmas is coming up...you don't think you truly feel inside like you believe people who do stop drinking feel inside...your postman and a neighbor down the street drink a whole lot...being sober may cause your poodle to freak...there's an election coming up and your favorite politician may possibly lose/win...you're 17/66 years old.

Very true indeed, and it's good you're hanging in there with that being so.

sugarbear1

Beautifully said!

For those who are "functioning," how productive are you when you are drinking?