Long time no post/checking in
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 216
Long time no post/checking in
Although I've been checking the boards, I haven't posted in quite a while.
It's been a nightmare! I have allowed 3 of my adult children to move in. I knew better, but I was sooooo feeling with my heart instead of using good, common sense.
Here's my household:
My son (27) was committed to a psych hospital and recently released. His brother (28 would have been homeless if I did not let him in.
My oldest daughter (33) and my grandson (age 6) is living with me too.
Of course, no one is working or even has transportation to work.
My youngest daughter(25) and my grandaughter are still living up north since July. She seems to be doing much better, but I cannot tell for sure. The homefront has taken up all of my codie time, leaving none for her (maybe that's a good thing).
It's very difficult to put this down in black and white because reading it makes me think....my God, did you actually think you could MANAGE all of this. I haven't been to Coda meetings lately...does it show??
I remember reading a post/advise regarding parent(s) who are thinking about letting adult children move back home.....don't do it!!! It's too hard and heartbreaking to throw them out.
Although I've been reading up on lots of codie issues, I still need to go back to Step One, attend my meetings and seriously consider going to counseling.
So here I am, asking for support (first good thing I have done in a long while).
Huggs to my family,
It's been a nightmare! I have allowed 3 of my adult children to move in. I knew better, but I was sooooo feeling with my heart instead of using good, common sense.
Here's my household:
My son (27) was committed to a psych hospital and recently released. His brother (28 would have been homeless if I did not let him in.
My oldest daughter (33) and my grandson (age 6) is living with me too.
Of course, no one is working or even has transportation to work.
My youngest daughter(25) and my grandaughter are still living up north since July. She seems to be doing much better, but I cannot tell for sure. The homefront has taken up all of my codie time, leaving none for her (maybe that's a good thing).
It's very difficult to put this down in black and white because reading it makes me think....my God, did you actually think you could MANAGE all of this. I haven't been to Coda meetings lately...does it show??
I remember reading a post/advise regarding parent(s) who are thinking about letting adult children move back home.....don't do it!!! It's too hard and heartbreaking to throw them out.
Although I've been reading up on lots of codie issues, I still need to go back to Step One, attend my meetings and seriously consider going to counseling.
So here I am, asking for support (first good thing I have done in a long while).
Huggs to my family,
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Wow, you definitely have your hands full! I'm so glad you are reaching out for support and hope you can get to CODA meetings soon and find counseling. That first step to reach out is a huge step towards regaining some balance in life. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Remember that we walk with you in your struggles. 
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 115
(((hope2be))) that sounds like A LOT you have taken on! i am not a parent, so i can't even imagine what it takes to throw the kids out, even if you realize that letting them come back may not have been the best choice for you. have you set any boundaries with them? any expectations regarding rent? and set timeframes --"you can live here until X/X/2012 then you have to be out" . .. that seems MORE than fair; granted on that date they may very well not be out, but you will have given them more than sufficient opportunity to get themselves together. if they are not out, you can then start ppwk to evict if it comes to that (which hopefully it wouldnt). best wishes to you . . .hope you keep posting!
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