My Story - Thoughts and Advice welcomed
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 9
My Story - Thoughts and Advice welcomed
My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years broke up with me about a week and a half ago. I went to therapy for the first time, as I was having a very hard time dealing with the break up. It was here that I got a slap in the face. My therapist, who was a substance abuse counselor for 15 years, told me that I was dating a substance abuser of both alcohol and drugs. It hurt even more when she suggested me attending support groups for loved ones of drug addicts and alcoholics. She told me that unfortunately, me being naive and never having used drugs or abused alcohol, I could not see the red flags.
When I met my ex, we both worked in a restaurant. We both told each other that the restaurant industry was temporary for us, since we wanted more than that. I knew he smoked weed but I also knew a lot of other people who did that as well. He also drank excessively and got overly drunk on many occasions. I also gave it the excuse that he was in college and that drinking like that would stop, because I USED to get drunk like that when I was in college.
About 10 months in to our relationship, I felt things were getting more serious and I asked him to stop smoking weed. I thought I saw a future with him and I certainly did not want someone who could be the father of my children doing drugs. He said he would and from that moment on, I never saw him smoke weed again. But the lies were always happening. I can't pinpoint when exactly they started but it was pretty early in our relationship. He lied about going out. He lied about what he was doing. And I do not really remember giving him a reason to do so. He would tell me he was "home" and then pocket dial me from the club. He got a DUI but unfortunately got out of it.
Then I started to see texts in his phone about "white girl". Again, me not knowing anything about drugs, I thought he was cheating on me. He informed me "white girl" meant cocaine and that his buddies knew he knew people who sold drugs and wanted him to "help them out". I saw other texts about "yayo" and I begin to question whether or not he was using cocaine. He SWORE up and down that that was not a possibility. But the lies continued. He would go "missing" for hours at a time. He would never answer his phone. He would tell me he was going to have a beer and wouldn't contact me until 4am.
This past July, I was supposed to hang out with him after work. I texted him letting him know I was on the way and he responded that he could not hang out, but would let me know ASAP. That response was not good enough for me so I drove over to his place. It was then I saw him led out in hand cuffs and being put in the cop car right after he muttered "possession". I thought it was just possession of weed. I was wrong. I saw him on the recent arrests and it was there I was informed that he had received 2 felonies (possession of cocaine and something that had to do with maintaining and dwelling and 2 misdemenors of possession of weed and drug paraphenaila).
He bawled his eyes out. He told me his entire life was flashing before his eyes. He lost his apartment. He almost lost his job. I threatened to leave and he begged and pleaded and cried that I was his support and he loved me and I couldn't leave him. I thought this was his rock bottom. But that lasted 2 weeks. He jumped right back into hanging out with people who do cocaine. He continued to go out and get wasted. He changed NOTHING about his lifestyle. He would miss community service because he would be out the night before. A few weeks ago. I caught him drinking (completely wasted to the point where I couldn't understand a word he said) and driving.
He broke up with me because I found out he had lied to me again. He made excuses that basically the failure of the relationship was my fault and that he never felt the need to lie to any of his "friends" or co-workers (since they are in such a better position than him...haha). Then a few days later, he was telling me how hard it was and that this wasn't easy for him, etc. That was after he spent the night getting wasted and face planted on the sidewalk. He told me that I called him out on his sh*t and he didn't like it. I always made him THINK about the decisions he made.
And here I am, heartbroken, upset and worried about what is going to happen to him, worried about if he misses me or even cares.
When I met my ex, we both worked in a restaurant. We both told each other that the restaurant industry was temporary for us, since we wanted more than that. I knew he smoked weed but I also knew a lot of other people who did that as well. He also drank excessively and got overly drunk on many occasions. I also gave it the excuse that he was in college and that drinking like that would stop, because I USED to get drunk like that when I was in college.
About 10 months in to our relationship, I felt things were getting more serious and I asked him to stop smoking weed. I thought I saw a future with him and I certainly did not want someone who could be the father of my children doing drugs. He said he would and from that moment on, I never saw him smoke weed again. But the lies were always happening. I can't pinpoint when exactly they started but it was pretty early in our relationship. He lied about going out. He lied about what he was doing. And I do not really remember giving him a reason to do so. He would tell me he was "home" and then pocket dial me from the club. He got a DUI but unfortunately got out of it.
Then I started to see texts in his phone about "white girl". Again, me not knowing anything about drugs, I thought he was cheating on me. He informed me "white girl" meant cocaine and that his buddies knew he knew people who sold drugs and wanted him to "help them out". I saw other texts about "yayo" and I begin to question whether or not he was using cocaine. He SWORE up and down that that was not a possibility. But the lies continued. He would go "missing" for hours at a time. He would never answer his phone. He would tell me he was going to have a beer and wouldn't contact me until 4am.
This past July, I was supposed to hang out with him after work. I texted him letting him know I was on the way and he responded that he could not hang out, but would let me know ASAP. That response was not good enough for me so I drove over to his place. It was then I saw him led out in hand cuffs and being put in the cop car right after he muttered "possession". I thought it was just possession of weed. I was wrong. I saw him on the recent arrests and it was there I was informed that he had received 2 felonies (possession of cocaine and something that had to do with maintaining and dwelling and 2 misdemenors of possession of weed and drug paraphenaila).
He bawled his eyes out. He told me his entire life was flashing before his eyes. He lost his apartment. He almost lost his job. I threatened to leave and he begged and pleaded and cried that I was his support and he loved me and I couldn't leave him. I thought this was his rock bottom. But that lasted 2 weeks. He jumped right back into hanging out with people who do cocaine. He continued to go out and get wasted. He changed NOTHING about his lifestyle. He would miss community service because he would be out the night before. A few weeks ago. I caught him drinking (completely wasted to the point where I couldn't understand a word he said) and driving.
He broke up with me because I found out he had lied to me again. He made excuses that basically the failure of the relationship was my fault and that he never felt the need to lie to any of his "friends" or co-workers (since they are in such a better position than him...haha). Then a few days later, he was telling me how hard it was and that this wasn't easy for him, etc. That was after he spent the night getting wasted and face planted on the sidewalk. He told me that I called him out on his sh*t and he didn't like it. I always made him THINK about the decisions he made.
And here I am, heartbroken, upset and worried about what is going to happen to him, worried about if he misses me or even cares.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Philadelphia, Pa
Posts: 16
He left because YOU found out that he lied. How about YOU left because YOU found out that he lied. Not saying to get angry but keep that in the back of your mind. I just found out that mine was cheating on me everytime he left for days to weeks blaming it on getting high. Then he said he had to get out of here because he could not sit around for antother three years with me throwing this woman in his face.....yes it was my fault that he cheated. For the first time I do not worry about what is happening to him. When he saw me crying beggin and depressed when I found out about the other woman he was cruel. So now that he got paid and got high why should I care about taking him to his job? My job suffered, if I could not save my job from suffering how can I stop his.
It is about adapting new ideas, new thoughts that focus on where we want to be.
It is about adapting new ideas, new thoughts that focus on where we want to be.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 924
Hi Jess,
I think that your therapist is right on...groups such as this one and face to face al anon meetings or nar anon or coda ALL will help you to get on to your own two feet. Break ups are always hard...especially when you have been envisioning a future, because dreams and hopes get stolen...that is what addiction does, it destroys.
The really good news is that those dreams and hopes are yours. It is going to take you awhile to sort this out. It is going to take you doing exactly what you are doing...reaching out, getting some therapy and following some suggestions of those who have been or are in a very similar situation. The really good news is that you will find yourself feeling so much better in a relatively easy amount of time if you do these things.
The really great news is that nobody will tell you what to do. Well, actually there have been times when I WANTED someone to tell me what to do. (!!!) But what will happen is that if you continue seeking support, insight, knowledge and just be a little bit gentle but firm with yourself you will be amazed at how much clarity you will find.
The good news is that relationships, love, addiction...are not always entirely black and white...they are infinite shades of grey. The good news is that you will empower yourself to decide what shade of grey you want in your world, remembering that some very very light shades of grey are just about memories. We are all interconnected, in heart, soul, mind and spirit.
More will be revealed to you. Take some time. Do some nice things for yourself. Trust people here...take what you want and leave the rest...find a meeting (!!!) and let time be your friend. We are all interconnected, you will discover more about what your connection with him was/is about. You get to make your life RIGHT NOW what YOU want it. You have already said that you do not want to have a father smoking weed...and you KNOW you do not want the coke. SO just let it rest for now...find out what all of us are talking about.
I had my boyfriend of 2 years just move out a month ago.
I truly believe that I can promise you that being away from someone who is using and lying is going to feel good. Just give it a tiny bit of time okay?
I think that your therapist is right on...groups such as this one and face to face al anon meetings or nar anon or coda ALL will help you to get on to your own two feet. Break ups are always hard...especially when you have been envisioning a future, because dreams and hopes get stolen...that is what addiction does, it destroys.
The really good news is that those dreams and hopes are yours. It is going to take you awhile to sort this out. It is going to take you doing exactly what you are doing...reaching out, getting some therapy and following some suggestions of those who have been or are in a very similar situation. The really good news is that you will find yourself feeling so much better in a relatively easy amount of time if you do these things.
The really great news is that nobody will tell you what to do. Well, actually there have been times when I WANTED someone to tell me what to do. (!!!) But what will happen is that if you continue seeking support, insight, knowledge and just be a little bit gentle but firm with yourself you will be amazed at how much clarity you will find.
The good news is that relationships, love, addiction...are not always entirely black and white...they are infinite shades of grey. The good news is that you will empower yourself to decide what shade of grey you want in your world, remembering that some very very light shades of grey are just about memories. We are all interconnected, in heart, soul, mind and spirit.
More will be revealed to you. Take some time. Do some nice things for yourself. Trust people here...take what you want and leave the rest...find a meeting (!!!) and let time be your friend. We are all interconnected, you will discover more about what your connection with him was/is about. You get to make your life RIGHT NOW what YOU want it. You have already said that you do not want to have a father smoking weed...and you KNOW you do not want the coke. SO just let it rest for now...find out what all of us are talking about.
I had my boyfriend of 2 years just move out a month ago.
I truly believe that I can promise you that being away from someone who is using and lying is going to feel good. Just give it a tiny bit of time okay?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 9
Originally Posted by phillyds 
He left because YOU found out that he lied. How about YOU left because YOU found out that he lied. Not saying to get angry but keep that in the back of your mind. I just found out that mine was cheating on me everytime he left for days to weeks blaming it on getting high. Then he said he had to get out of here because he could not sit around for antother three years with me throwing this woman in his face.....yes it was my fault that he cheated. For the first time I do not worry about what is happening to him. When he saw me crying beggin and depressed when I found out about the other woman he was cruel. So now that he got paid and got high why should I care about taking him to his job? My job suffered, if I could not save my job from suffering how can I stop his.
It is about adapting new ideas, new thoughts that focus on where we want to be.
It is about adapting new ideas, new thoughts that focus on where we want to be.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 924
Until you get to where you are right now...when you start to see the truth...you just can't see it. Stay present, stay in the moment. It doesn't mean that you are stupid that you didn't see it before. You trusted in the wrong person...but that is because you are a trusting person...and he is an addict (wrong person to trust!). You couldn't know that til you knew it, now you know it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 9
Originally Posted by lesliej
Hi Jess,
I think that your therapist is right on...groups such as this one and face to face al anon meetings or nar anon or coda ALL will help you to get on to your own two feet. Break ups are always hard...especially when you have been envisioning a future, because dreams and hopes get stolen...that is what addiction does, it destroys.
The really good news is that those dreams and hopes are yours. It is going to take you awhile to sort this out. It is going to take you doing exactly what you are doing...reaching out, getting some therapy and following some suggestions of those who have been or are in a very similar situation. The really good news is that you will find yourself feeling so much better in a relatively easy amount of time if you do these things.
The really great news is that nobody will tell you what to do. Well, actually there have been times when I WANTED someone to tell me what to do. (!!!) But what will happen is that if you continue seeking support, insight, knowledge and just be a little bit gentle but firm with yourself you will be amazed at how much clarity you will find.
The good news is that relationships, love, addiction...are not always entirely black and white...they are infinite shades of grey. The good news is that you will empower yourself to decide what shade of grey you want in your world, remembering that some very very light shades of grey are just about memories. We are all interconnected, in heart, soul, mind and spirit.
More will be revealed to you. Take some time. Do some nice things for yourself. Trust people here...take what you want and leave the rest...find a meeting (!!!) and let time be your friend. We are all interconnected, you will discover more about what your connection with him was/is about. You get to make your life RIGHT NOW what YOU want it. You have already said that you do not want to have a father smoking weed...and you KNOW you do not want the coke. SO just let it rest for now...find out what all of us are talking about.
I had my boyfriend of 2 years just move out a month ago.
I truly believe that I can promise you that being away from someone who is using and lying is going to feel good. Just give it a tiny bit of time okay?
I think that your therapist is right on...groups such as this one and face to face al anon meetings or nar anon or coda ALL will help you to get on to your own two feet. Break ups are always hard...especially when you have been envisioning a future, because dreams and hopes get stolen...that is what addiction does, it destroys.
The really good news is that those dreams and hopes are yours. It is going to take you awhile to sort this out. It is going to take you doing exactly what you are doing...reaching out, getting some therapy and following some suggestions of those who have been or are in a very similar situation. The really good news is that you will find yourself feeling so much better in a relatively easy amount of time if you do these things.
The really great news is that nobody will tell you what to do. Well, actually there have been times when I WANTED someone to tell me what to do. (!!!) But what will happen is that if you continue seeking support, insight, knowledge and just be a little bit gentle but firm with yourself you will be amazed at how much clarity you will find.
The good news is that relationships, love, addiction...are not always entirely black and white...they are infinite shades of grey. The good news is that you will empower yourself to decide what shade of grey you want in your world, remembering that some very very light shades of grey are just about memories. We are all interconnected, in heart, soul, mind and spirit.
More will be revealed to you. Take some time. Do some nice things for yourself. Trust people here...take what you want and leave the rest...find a meeting (!!!) and let time be your friend. We are all interconnected, you will discover more about what your connection with him was/is about. You get to make your life RIGHT NOW what YOU want it. You have already said that you do not want to have a father smoking weed...and you KNOW you do not want the coke. SO just let it rest for now...find out what all of us are talking about.
I had my boyfriend of 2 years just move out a month ago.
I truly believe that I can promise you that being away from someone who is using and lying is going to feel good. Just give it a tiny bit of time okay?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 924
Until you get to where you are right now...when you start to see the truth...you just can't see it. Stay present, stay in the moment. It doesn't mean that you are stupid that you didn't see it before. You trusted in the wrong person...but that is because you are a trusting person...and he is an addict (wrong person to trust!). You couldn't know that til you knew it, now you know it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 924
Until you get to where you are right now...when you start to see the truth...you just can't see it. Stay present, stay in the moment. It doesn't mean that you are stupid that you didn't see it before. You trusted in the wrong person...but that is because you are a trusting person...and he is an addict (wrong person to trust!). You couldn't know that til you knew it, now you know it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 924
Until you get to where you are right now...when you start to see the truth...you just can't see it. Stay present, stay in the moment. It doesn't mean that you are stupid that you didn't see it before. You trusted in the wrong person...but that is because you are a trusting person...and he is an addict (wrong person to trust!). You couldn't know that til you knew it, now you know it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 9
Originally Posted by lesliej
Hi Jess,
I think that your therapist is right on...groups such as this one and face to face al anon meetings or nar anon or coda ALL will help you to get on to your own two feet. Break ups are always hard...especially when you have been envisioning a future, because dreams and hopes get stolen...that is what addiction does, it destroys.
The really good news is that those dreams and hopes are yours. It is going to take you awhile to sort this out. It is going to take you doing exactly what you are doing...reaching out, getting some therapy and following some suggestions of those who have been or are in a very similar situation. The really good news is that you will find yourself feeling so much better in a relatively easy amount of time if you do these things.
The really great news is that nobody will tell you what to do. Well, actually there have been times when I WANTED someone to tell me what to do. (!!!) But what will happen is that if you continue seeking support, insight, knowledge and just be a little bit gentle but firm with yourself you will be amazed at how much clarity you will find.
The good news is that relationships, love, addiction...are not always entirely black and white...they are infinite shades of grey. The good news is that you will empower yourself to decide what shade of grey you want in your world, remembering that some very very light shades of grey are just about memories. We are all interconnected, in heart, soul, mind and spirit.
More will be revealed to you. Take some time. Do some nice things for yourself. Trust people here...take what you want and leave the rest...find a meeting (!!!) and let time be your friend. We are all interconnected, you will discover more about what your connection with him was/is about. You get to make your life RIGHT NOW what YOU want it. You have already said that you do not want to have a father smoking weed...and you KNOW you do not want the coke. SO just let it rest for now...find out what all of us are talking about.
I had my boyfriend of 2 years just move out a month ago.
I truly believe that I can promise you that being away from someone who is using and lying is going to feel good. Just give it a tiny bit of time okay?
I think that your therapist is right on...groups such as this one and face to face al anon meetings or nar anon or coda ALL will help you to get on to your own two feet. Break ups are always hard...especially when you have been envisioning a future, because dreams and hopes get stolen...that is what addiction does, it destroys.
The really good news is that those dreams and hopes are yours. It is going to take you awhile to sort this out. It is going to take you doing exactly what you are doing...reaching out, getting some therapy and following some suggestions of those who have been or are in a very similar situation. The really good news is that you will find yourself feeling so much better in a relatively easy amount of time if you do these things.
The really great news is that nobody will tell you what to do. Well, actually there have been times when I WANTED someone to tell me what to do. (!!!) But what will happen is that if you continue seeking support, insight, knowledge and just be a little bit gentle but firm with yourself you will be amazed at how much clarity you will find.
The good news is that relationships, love, addiction...are not always entirely black and white...they are infinite shades of grey. The good news is that you will empower yourself to decide what shade of grey you want in your world, remembering that some very very light shades of grey are just about memories. We are all interconnected, in heart, soul, mind and spirit.
More will be revealed to you. Take some time. Do some nice things for yourself. Trust people here...take what you want and leave the rest...find a meeting (!!!) and let time be your friend. We are all interconnected, you will discover more about what your connection with him was/is about. You get to make your life RIGHT NOW what YOU want it. You have already said that you do not want to have a father smoking weed...and you KNOW you do not want the coke. SO just let it rest for now...find out what all of us are talking about.
I had my boyfriend of 2 years just move out a month ago.
I truly believe that I can promise you that being away from someone who is using and lying is going to feel good. Just give it a tiny bit of time okay?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Originally Posted by sweetjess1951
Yes, as stupid as it sounds, HE left ME because HE lied and I got upset with him about it. There were plenty of times that he lied about what he was doing and I somehow always blamed myself...like maybe I was being too controlling or I did something to make him lie. And he would always say he was sorry and wouldn't do it again. And he did. Makes me feel so stupid.
His addiction has nothing to do with you. Addiction demands he protect and sustain it at all costs. He doing what addicts do.
Consider Alanon.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 924
My boyfriend would go on binges...he would be with me and everything was great for days, weeks, months and months! Then he would "disappear". I always knew when he disappeared because of our communication. Your 4am nights sure sound familiar...they are heartbreaking, frustrating and confusing as HE7L!!
I have spent a HUGE amount of energy trying everything to understand addiction and to help him, I became especially interested because I am in recovery myself so I thought I could help show him how its done. I was still completely unfamiliar with his drug...
If you in any way can help yourself by deciding NOT to go and spend all the endless amount of time and energy trying to understand it you will save yourself a lot of life...repeat...you will save yourself a lot of your own life.
Addiction is meant to be understood by the addict...IF & WHEN they decide to recover. It is not for us to understand...we only need to understand our own wants, needs, values, what WE want from life.
He is probably going to make A LOT of promises.
Be prepared. Breaking up with you may just be part of a manipulative ploy so that it makes you want him back. Just like you felt somehow at fault for HIS lies.
Dig In!!!!!! Get Support!!!!!! WE need each other to help find our emotional well being.
I have spent a HUGE amount of energy trying everything to understand addiction and to help him, I became especially interested because I am in recovery myself so I thought I could help show him how its done. I was still completely unfamiliar with his drug...
If you in any way can help yourself by deciding NOT to go and spend all the endless amount of time and energy trying to understand it you will save yourself a lot of life...repeat...you will save yourself a lot of your own life.
Addiction is meant to be understood by the addict...IF & WHEN they decide to recover. It is not for us to understand...we only need to understand our own wants, needs, values, what WE want from life.
He is probably going to make A LOT of promises.
Be prepared. Breaking up with you may just be part of a manipulative ploy so that it makes you want him back. Just like you felt somehow at fault for HIS lies.
Dig In!!!!!! Get Support!!!!!! WE need each other to help find our emotional well being.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 9
Originally Posted by lesliej
My boyfriend would go on binges...he would be with me and everything was great for days, weeks, months and months! Then he would "disappear". I always knew when he disappeared because of our communication. Your 4am nights sure sound familiar...they are heartbreaking, frustrating and confusing as HE7L!!
I have spent a HUGE amount of energy trying everything to understand addiction and to help him, I became especially interested because I am in recovery myself so I thought I could help show him how its done. I was still completely unfamiliar with his drug...
If you in any way can help yourself by deciding NOT to go and spend all the endless amount of time and energy trying to understand it you will save yourself a lot of life...repeat...you will save yourself a lot of your own life.
Addiction is meant to be understood by the addict...IF & WHEN they decide to recover. It is not for us to understand...we only need to understand our own wants, needs, values, what WE want from life.
He is probably going to make A LOT of promises.
Be prepared. Breaking up with you may just be part of a manipulative ploy so that it makes you want him back. Just like you felt somehow at fault for HIS lies.
Dig In!!!!!! Get Support!!!!!! WE need each other to help find our emotional well being.
I have spent a HUGE amount of energy trying everything to understand addiction and to help him, I became especially interested because I am in recovery myself so I thought I could help show him how its done. I was still completely unfamiliar with his drug...
If you in any way can help yourself by deciding NOT to go and spend all the endless amount of time and energy trying to understand it you will save yourself a lot of life...repeat...you will save yourself a lot of your own life.
Addiction is meant to be understood by the addict...IF & WHEN they decide to recover. It is not for us to understand...we only need to understand our own wants, needs, values, what WE want from life.
He is probably going to make A LOT of promises.
Be prepared. Breaking up with you may just be part of a manipulative ploy so that it makes you want him back. Just like you felt somehow at fault for HIS lies.
Dig In!!!!!! Get Support!!!!!! WE need each other to help find our emotional well being.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 924
horrible. being lied to is just such a horrible betrayal. you are probably just going to have to go through the gamut of emotions that are heading your way...tell your closest people that you are going to need help getting through this. let people know what you need...you're probably going to have to process a lot, with people who are patient, because you are probably going to cry and be angry too...and even keep coming up with all the reasons that he was great.
addiction and the lying and betrayal that accompany it are a whirlwind, so gather up your self care supplies...seriously. I have found this site to be a great source to dip into at night...and the process of writing your posts will help you, seeing what you write helps you keep track of how you feel when you start going all over the map.
you are just are going to have to face this one...it's going to be hard, but you're going to get through it...OKAY??? there doesn't have to be any shoulda coulda woulda either...
think instead of the gratefuls for what you haven't done. My boyfriend wanted to get me pregnant right away... THANK GOD I didn't go there!!! I was going to marry him a year ago...thank god I don't have divorce proceedings...REALLY.
You're going to be okay. Yes you are. We are here for you.
addiction and the lying and betrayal that accompany it are a whirlwind, so gather up your self care supplies...seriously. I have found this site to be a great source to dip into at night...and the process of writing your posts will help you, seeing what you write helps you keep track of how you feel when you start going all over the map.
you are just are going to have to face this one...it's going to be hard, but you're going to get through it...OKAY??? there doesn't have to be any shoulda coulda woulda either...
think instead of the gratefuls for what you haven't done. My boyfriend wanted to get me pregnant right away... THANK GOD I didn't go there!!! I was going to marry him a year ago...thank god I don't have divorce proceedings...REALLY.
You're going to be okay. Yes you are. We are here for you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
Sweet Jess, all addicts are expert at lying. You loved him and did not see past the initial layer of words, but as with all of the lies, once the reality sets in, you begin to look back (as you are now) and the patterns arise. Its okay to be angry, but also remember YOU did nothing wrong and now YOU move on with a life you deserve.
Hugs,
Teresa
Hugs,
Teresa
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