Birthdays - of Birth and Sobriety ;)
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,193
Birthdays - of Birth and Sobriety ;)
Tuesday was my 1-month sobriety birthday, and tomorrow is my 31st birthday! YAY! 
I feel like my life was rather stalled during most of my 20's, especially these last few years as I tried to drink my problems away instead of face them and deal with them. I have heard and read how other alcoholics have lost families and jobs/careers due to alcoholism, and, while I am grateful that has not been my path, I feel that I had lost or thrown away many opportunities to gain a family and/or a more fulfilling career because of my drinking. One of the reasons I stopped was so that I could focus on propelling my life forward rather than staying stuck in a rut or regressing backwards, which I feel I did both of while I drank.
So I am very happy that I have more than 31 days of sobriety under my belt before I turn 31. I am determined to live a better life. I was thinking about some emotional break-downs I had last week, and realized that, while sobriety has been hard for me, these past 30+ days have been much much better and happier than the past few years when I was drinking.
I was also thinking of my birthday last year, when a person I really shouldn't have been dating, but was, rented out VIP space at a club and my friends rented a room and we partied all night long. I feel I was immature, irresponsible and unhappy... I knew it then too... and none of the partying could fulfill me. I was thinking, Pigtails, you are 30 years old and still going clubbing like a college student, because you don't know what you really want out of life and you're not working towards it! Now I am having a couple dinners with very close friends, and going on a ski trip with my boyfriend, and I won't be drinking, and I feel so much more happy and fulfilled than I did last year, just due to these 30 days of sobriety (which came after quite a few months of trying to address my drinking and taking stabs at sobriety which were unsuccessful but I think helpful in that I knew I had to grow and change, and they eventually led me to this place of true growth for the first time in years, I think.) I now know what I want (or least some of what I want, and definitely what I *don't* want) and am working towards it.
Thank you SR for helping make my birthday meaningful. I am off to start my celebrations, which will continue until Sunday, ha ha, and I feel like it will be incredibly FUN!
I feel like my life was rather stalled during most of my 20's, especially these last few years as I tried to drink my problems away instead of face them and deal with them. I have heard and read how other alcoholics have lost families and jobs/careers due to alcoholism, and, while I am grateful that has not been my path, I feel that I had lost or thrown away many opportunities to gain a family and/or a more fulfilling career because of my drinking. One of the reasons I stopped was so that I could focus on propelling my life forward rather than staying stuck in a rut or regressing backwards, which I feel I did both of while I drank.
So I am very happy that I have more than 31 days of sobriety under my belt before I turn 31. I am determined to live a better life. I was thinking about some emotional break-downs I had last week, and realized that, while sobriety has been hard for me, these past 30+ days have been much much better and happier than the past few years when I was drinking.
I was also thinking of my birthday last year, when a person I really shouldn't have been dating, but was, rented out VIP space at a club and my friends rented a room and we partied all night long. I feel I was immature, irresponsible and unhappy... I knew it then too... and none of the partying could fulfill me. I was thinking, Pigtails, you are 30 years old and still going clubbing like a college student, because you don't know what you really want out of life and you're not working towards it! Now I am having a couple dinners with very close friends, and going on a ski trip with my boyfriend, and I won't be drinking, and I feel so much more happy and fulfilled than I did last year, just due to these 30 days of sobriety (which came after quite a few months of trying to address my drinking and taking stabs at sobriety which were unsuccessful but I think helpful in that I knew I had to grow and change, and they eventually led me to this place of true growth for the first time in years, I think.) I now know what I want (or least some of what I want, and definitely what I *don't* want) and am working towards it.
Thank you SR for helping make my birthday meaningful.
I am off to start my celebrations, which will continue until Sunday, ha ha, and I feel like it will be incredibly FUN!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,138
Congrats on 30 days Pigtails, and Happy Birthday!
I was sober from 29-31, and then started drinking a bit and then it got out of control the last few years. And while it's good to be sober at any age, let me tell you from experience your early thirties are a great time to be sober!
Again, congrats!
I was sober from 29-31, and then started drinking a bit and then it got out of control the last few years. And while it's good to be sober at any age, let me tell you from experience your early thirties are a great time to be sober!
Again, congrats!
7Guest
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 189
Well happy birthday PigTails! As I write this its your bday right now! Well congratulations on having a month! Im 4 months sober myself. I was 3 months sober when my 27th came up in November and it felt great, I can remember back when I was so sick in my drinking that my bday parties were always consisted of drinking all night. Although it felt like fun, I never remembered anything the next day which was kind of sad but then for the past 2 birthdays I never drank and it was always a dry party. That I appreciated alot more because I could remember everything and be myself. This past birthday I went out for dinner with my family, just myself, mother, father, brother and grandma and it was nice. A peaceful birthday celebration this time around. A friend of mine I haven't seen in months (due to my drinking) came over around 9pm and we sat down and chatted for awhile for about an hour and a half. it brought a smile to my face and was able to make amends with him because whenever he tried to invite me over to his place I was drunk and lied and said I was sick. I told him the truth a 7 months ago and he got mad and never called on me again until I apologized even more and he forgave me thank god, we've known each other since grade 10 lol. Reading your post gives me courage that this is indeed the right path and that if I didn't smarten up by now, id be out there drinking still. Keep at it! it gets better
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,193
Thank you everyone, for the birthday wishes.
I had a very up and down birthday. The interview went well and I think I have a new career opportunity!!! Some of you may know that I've been unhappy at my current job and wanting to start my own business, but, I have been afraid to make major changes for reasons such as not wanting to make big changes during my early sobriety, not wanting to "run away/give up" just because things are hard, but instead address the issues (even though I had decided quite some time ago to do something completely different), not wanting to get to anxiety or depression due to change (although I've had plenty of that working here), and for financial security/fear reasons.
Well last week or so I had discovered a perfect opportunity that could be the best of both worlds, and I sent my information and went for an informal interview yesterday. Two other professionals in my career field will share their office, support staff, advertising, etc. with me in exchange for working for them some each month, and then after that they will pay me an hourly rate to do work for them on a contract basis. I am free to form/build my own business and keep my own money I bring in, but I will have the stability of incoming work flow and training from them. I feel like this came at the most perfect time and I feel incredibly lucky to probably be able to do it. (They told me they are talking to a couple other people but that I have the best resume, and it seems like if I present some numbers to them and we work out a deal, they will take me. Basically like the ball is in my court but they would want me to come if I want to.) They said that if we all like the arrangement after a couple months we could make it a partnership/business relationship with more mutual benefits, and they seem like genuinely nice, good people who are happy with their career, which seems like such a refreshing change from where I work now!!! (It would be a different field/area of my same general career).
So I was on cloud nine, literally so happy and like it was the best day ever. But when I got back to work my boss had all this extra work for me to do this weekend even though I had told her it was my birthday and was going on an out of town trip this weekend. I could go into this big long story of what happened at work and why I'm mad, but, it is just a repeat of everything that has happened here over and over since I started, and why I can't wait to leave. I have been examining my work/working relationships to honestly assess what I have done wrong instead of just blaming it on others. I think it is a mixture of things and I have not always handled things the right way and I have honestly lost motivation to try anymore because I've realized that they want to just treat me like a slave and I don't have support here for issues that come up, basically they want me to suck it up and keep working, and I have, but I am tired of it. And I don't want to play the victim. I have learned things about myself and about working with other people, and I feel it's something I need to leave in the past and move on to something better, but I must admit that coming back to the office yesterday completely crushed my spirits and stressed me out. I went from feeling 110% to feeling negative 110%. I did some work and then rushed to meet a friend for dinner--which was nice once I could relax, and we talked about a lot of insightful things, and I called some family members and spent some time with my boyfriend--in the end it evened out to be a nice day, despite the ups and downs.
Most importantly, I got through it without drinking, and, strangely enough, I didn't even want to/think much about drinking except for when I got out of the interview. I guess I had been nervous and it was stressful in a good way and I thought about the old days of relaxing with a happy hour drink and "celebrating" something good that had happened, and toasting for good luck etc. But I realized that that would get me nowhere, and once crappy stuff happened at my current job, I was obviously glad I hadn't given into the thought! (It wasn't an overwhelming thought, just a memory/visual and an "I NEED A DRINK NOW" thought, that went away pretty quickly after I thought about the potential resulting consequences and the nonsense of wanting a drink after something GOOD had happened (my brain can always think of any excuse!), and the benefits I have been reaping throughout the past month of not drinking.)
I am excited for my new year of life as well as the upcoming new year. I think things are going to just keep getting better and better for me. I am really grateful to be sober and to be in many ways starting out upon a different/better path for a different/better life. Thanks again everyone for the well wishes, and I just wanted to post that update. Obviously I am not on my out of town trip, but, I can do it next weekend!
I had a very up and down birthday. The interview went well and I think I have a new career opportunity!!!
Some of you may know that I've been unhappy at my current job and wanting to start my own business, but, I have been afraid to make major changes for reasons such as not wanting to make big changes during my early sobriety, not wanting to "run away/give up" just because things are hard, but instead address the issues (even though I had decided quite some time ago to do something completely different), not wanting to get to anxiety or depression due to change (although I've had plenty of that working here), and for financial security/fear reasons. Well last week or so I had discovered a perfect opportunity that could be the best of both worlds, and I sent my information and went for an informal interview yesterday. Two other professionals in my career field will share their office, support staff, advertising, etc. with me in exchange for working for them some each month, and then after that they will pay me an hourly rate to do work for them on a contract basis. I am free to form/build my own business and keep my own money I bring in, but I will have the stability of incoming work flow and training from them. I feel like this came at the most perfect time and I feel incredibly lucky to probably be able to do it. (They told me they are talking to a couple other people but that I have the best resume, and it seems like if I present some numbers to them and we work out a deal, they will take me. Basically like the ball is in my court but they would want me to come if I want to.) They said that if we all like the arrangement after a couple months we could make it a partnership/business relationship with more mutual benefits, and they seem like genuinely nice, good people who are happy with their career, which seems like such a refreshing change from where I work now!!! (It would be a different field/area of my same general career).
So I was on cloud nine, literally so happy and like it was the best day ever. But when I got back to work my boss had all this extra work for me to do this weekend even though I had told her it was my birthday and was going on an out of town trip this weekend. I could go into this big long story of what happened at work and why I'm mad, but, it is just a repeat of everything that has happened here over and over since I started, and why I can't wait to leave. I have been examining my work/working relationships to honestly assess what I have done wrong instead of just blaming it on others. I think it is a mixture of things and I have not always handled things the right way and I have honestly lost motivation to try anymore because I've realized that they want to just treat me like a slave and I don't have support here for issues that come up, basically they want me to suck it up and keep working, and I have, but I am tired of it. And I don't want to play the victim. I have learned things about myself and about working with other people, and I feel it's something I need to leave in the past and move on to something better, but I must admit that coming back to the office yesterday completely crushed my spirits and stressed me out. I went from feeling 110% to feeling negative 110%. I did some work and then rushed to meet a friend for dinner--which was nice once I could relax, and we talked about a lot of insightful things, and I called some family members and spent some time with my boyfriend--in the end it evened out to be a nice day, despite the ups and downs.
Most importantly, I got through it without drinking, and, strangely enough, I didn't even want to/think much about drinking except for when I got out of the interview. I guess I had been nervous and it was stressful in a good way and I thought about the old days of relaxing with a happy hour drink and "celebrating" something good that had happened, and toasting for good luck etc. But I realized that that would get me nowhere, and once crappy stuff happened at my current job, I was obviously glad I hadn't given into the thought! (It wasn't an overwhelming thought, just a memory/visual and an "I NEED A DRINK NOW" thought, that went away pretty quickly after I thought about the potential resulting consequences and the nonsense of wanting a drink after something GOOD had happened (my brain can always think of any excuse!), and the benefits I have been reaping throughout the past month of not drinking.)
I am excited for my new year of life as well as the upcoming new year.
I think things are going to just keep getting better and better for me. I am really grateful to be sober and to be in many ways starting out upon a different/better path for a different/better life. Thanks again everyone for the well wishes, and I just wanted to post that update. Obviously I am not on my out of town trip, but, I can do it next weekend!
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 609
Most of my thirties are a blur. Since I stopped it's really been like a new start. I was in pretty bad shape when I quit, it was like putting myself back together again, interesting journey. Recovery isn't the easiest thing to do, but it can also be an opportunity.
Congratulations Pigtails and well done on embracing this time in your life.
Congratulations Pigtails and well done on embracing this time in your life.
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