laana

Hey everyone

I am feeling great now tonight, have been sober for 2 days. work went well, went to the gym and home to cook food and watch some stand-up comedy!

Thing is , all day i've been paying close attention to the alcoholic voice in my head and man its persistent! I've been trying to listen to it with a sense of humour today and it has helped a little i think...

All day it has pooped up at work with the usual "ok, so maybe its ok if you only have a beer or two tonight" "its ok to drink if you're meeting up with someone and not alone at home" "come on, maybe its not even the alcohol that's the problem" LOL that thought actually came up!..
Its been a bit of a battlefield and to shut it up i "made a deal" (yeah it is crazy) that i am not allowed to smoke or drink until Friday and then see....it actually calmed me down enough to avoid buying any alcohol or cigarettes, I am quitting both.
Its a constant negotiation and its exhausting but i am happy i made it through today and happy my mind is bright and positive

Laana

Anna

I think it's because the Voice knows that it's starting to lose the battle, and it's fighting. But, you're winning.

soberred

Wow! Quitting smokes and booze at the same time must be hard. I decided that quitting both would be too much for me. I quit for 3 years and I know how stressed I get. I was waiting til I was confident in my sobriety. This is the month for me. Good luck. Tell that voice to shut up.

VoiceinmyHead

I know that voice!
Good for you in not listening!

laana

Thanks you all!
Its going to be interesting paying attention to it over the days, today it increased in intensity as the day progressed and got more and more desperate until I negotiated some peace!
I find i haven't understood my addiction at all before, i hope this is a first step of recognizing it, that's not me chatting away, its "it"

Dee74

I found, once I accepted the reality - that I was an alcoholic and that drinking was not a viable choice for me - the game changed.

Each time I reacted in a new positive and life affirming way, all the rationalisations and inner dialogue in my head gradually lost their power and slowly faded away.

You'll find that too Anna, I'm sure - stick with it

Tigger41

Mine started screaming at me at about 2 weeks but it's tapered off. Now it's kind of whimpering - "ah come on - really - you can so have one glass and not go back" "please" "pretty please"

My logical mind keeps saying "No - you really can't - remembering hiding all those times you drank - if you could handle it you wouldn't be in this position!"

I hate the voice -

laana

Yeah its hard but for me for me smoking and drinking are very much connected, i mostly only smoke when i drink, which is every day but only in the evenings. So basically i go from midnight until the next evening without a smoke to have 5-10 cigarettes in a matter of a few hours with my drinks....apart from some weekeneds when the vices start earlier..
Both addictions scare me though, i am scared of doing permanent damage to myself by either one of them

Great you're quitting too!!!!

Terminally Unique

One of the prime functions of the Addictive Voice is to conceal the addiction itself, making it appear as a legitimate survival drive like hunger. It cannot be reasoned with, any more than you could reason with thirst. From its perspective, drinking is essential to life itself, and it is therefore acting quite rationally in pursuing the next fix. There is really only one way to deal with such an entity, and that is to completely remove the option of any future drinking or using, and to not cut any deals with it.

CaiHong

Yes, Laana that AV is astounding.

Three weeks ago, coming up to 6 months sober, it was so strong I very nearly picked up, I was so close. It was llike a battle going on and if I didn't have this forum or AA it would have won hands down. I remembered what people told me, I stayed where i was until it had weakened enough to leave safely and go home without buying any alcohol.
The voice has been very quiet since then but I am making sure by practising my program.

All the best
CaiHong

freshstart57

There is no bargaining nor should there be any bargaining with that AV, laana. Find a way to separate yourself from that voice - it is not you, it is from a liquor sucking parasite that has been messing you up for waaaay too long.

Shut that voice down, it deserves nothing more than to be exposed and dragged into your awareness where it can be promptly ignored and ridiculed.

lostbutterfly

I think we all have that voice laana. It is excellent that you recognize it and treat it as 'it'. Mine looks like Rumpelstiltskin from the film Shrek! Remember, it's only purpose is to get you to drink. But you know better. No discussion. You don't drink.

least

The longer you're sober, the fainter that voice will get. Keep on keepin' on.