Windblown

Found out that my AS did indeed make it back to GA with meth head Dad. A mutual friend and fellow enabler to both of them e-mailed me that AS was back and both AS and Father were asking her for money immediately. She already gave away her inheritance trying to help the dad because she loved my AS so much and couldn't stand the way they lived.

She said...I just can't live like this again. She said she had called Alanon. I told her Not to give them any money or help them in any way or she would get burned again. I am actually more worried about her than my AS because I know how hard it is to say NO. I hope she doesn't cave, but I am powerless over her.

I have gone on with my life. I am reading spiritual books and meditating. I have offered to do some volunteering at the local donation type recovery places. I couldn't help my son, but I may be able to help another heartbroken Mom in some way. I am chairing the Naranon meeting tomorrow night.

I still love my son and will always hold hope in my heart but I am relieved he went to GA. There is help there if and when he ever wants it. I doubt he'll be living with methhead too long before a fight breaks out. My AS has burnt some bridges and one day he'll have to man up and face the music or he will go to prizon or die. That is what happens. I have accepted that. I tried TOO hard for TOO long and I am onto the con. I am not angry but I don't feel emotionally involved. He made his choices. They stink but hey...that's his path...not mine.

Now I enjoy simple days, prayer, deep breathing, healing and love for the non addicts who actually lve me back. My AS didn't even have the curtesy to tell me he moved back to GA. Am I angry...nope...he's an addict....that's what they do.

I pray for him to be surrounded by God's love and guidance in whatever way that is. I don't pray for him to get recovery because that's me telling God what to do. This life is an amazing matrix of God's design...mysterious and beautiful. I used to think I knew what was best for my AS...now I think about ...what is best for me?!!! And life is unfolding like a rainbow path.

Is this detachment with love? Cuz I feel mellow and my obsession has been nil for the last two days. God wants me to be happy and at peace. That is what he/she wants for all of us...we just gotta' turn our loved ones over to the big matrix...don't worry...opportunities, events and miraculous occurrences are there for them too. And the last one there goingto listen to is Mom!

Impurrfect

(((Windblown))) - so glad to hear you sounding better It's amazing what a little time and distance can do. It's not always easy, but I think as long as we realize our loved one's have an HP, too, it's a bit easier to digest.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

TMZ

Sounds to me you have taken your life back, and you are a heathy. It is so good to let go.

I like the fact your volunteering and also leading your nar-anon meeting, you have come a long way.

Sending strength and prayers,

dollydo