New here and to AA...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
New here and to AA...
My name is Matt and I am and always will be an alcoholic.
A little bit about myself. I can't describe where alcohol took me any better than Bill W. did on page 8 of the Big Book.
No words can tell of the loneliness and despair I found in that bitter morass of self-pity. Quicksand stretched around me in all directions. I had met my match. I had been overwhelmed. Alcohol was my master.
The first time I read this I had to read it again. This was me. Then I got a dictionary out and read it again. I was curious as to why he used the word overwhelmed....to overpower in thought or feeling....Got it. I was also curious about morass...Didn't know that word....A swamp; an entanglement...Bingo.
I went to my first AA meeting after detoxing for 5 days and having one week in the rehab program. I knew from the first one that this is what I needed. I felt good just walking out of there. I was given a Big Book and I devoured it. I read it like my life depended on it...It did. I was told to read the first 164 pages and I didn't even question why. I read that over and over and I started to understand it.
I continued to go to meetings there but I was limited to one a day and I wanted to get a sponsor and get started on these steps. So I left after two weeks. My second day out I had a sponsor and a homegroup. I listened and I did what I was told. He told me to go to 90 meetings in 90 days....I knew that wasn't in the book....I went to 180 in 90 days. I found a sponsor that knew the steps and that is what I looked for and I got started right away. It was clear to me what the suggested plan of recovery was.
I took those steps fearlessly and honestly and I was living those principles before 90 days was up. I wanted what they had and I wasn't going to sit around and contemplate on it too much...Because I don't trust myself. And I was pretty tired of failing at things. I have a very long history of that.
I just came back from a meeting and a new comer brought up the topic....What message do you carry?
I shared that the word "simple" is used in the Big Book over 70 times and the word "God" is used over 170 times...And I think there is a reason for that. The fact that I'm sitting here with no obsession to drink is a miracle to me. No other word for it. I was thinking about dying a little over five months ago.
The message I have to carry is "It works."...If you want it. And I wanted it.
Now I want to share it with somebody. What a beautiful gift....Grace.
I look forward to enjoying this site. Thanks.
A little bit about myself. I can't describe where alcohol took me any better than Bill W. did on page 8 of the Big Book.
No words can tell of the loneliness and despair I found in that bitter morass of self-pity. Quicksand stretched around me in all directions. I had met my match. I had been overwhelmed. Alcohol was my master.
The first time I read this I had to read it again. This was me. Then I got a dictionary out and read it again. I was curious as to why he used the word overwhelmed....to overpower in thought or feeling....Got it. I was also curious about morass...Didn't know that word....A swamp; an entanglement...Bingo.
I went to my first AA meeting after detoxing for 5 days and having one week in the rehab program. I knew from the first one that this is what I needed. I felt good just walking out of there. I was given a Big Book and I devoured it. I read it like my life depended on it...It did. I was told to read the first 164 pages and I didn't even question why. I read that over and over and I started to understand it.
I continued to go to meetings there but I was limited to one a day and I wanted to get a sponsor and get started on these steps. So I left after two weeks. My second day out I had a sponsor and a homegroup. I listened and I did what I was told. He told me to go to 90 meetings in 90 days....I knew that wasn't in the book....I went to 180 in 90 days. I found a sponsor that knew the steps and that is what I looked for and I got started right away. It was clear to me what the suggested plan of recovery was.
I took those steps fearlessly and honestly and I was living those principles before 90 days was up. I wanted what they had and I wasn't going to sit around and contemplate on it too much...Because I don't trust myself. And I was pretty tired of failing at things. I have a very long history of that.
I just came back from a meeting and a new comer brought up the topic....What message do you carry?
I shared that the word "simple" is used in the Big Book over 70 times and the word "God" is used over 170 times...And I think there is a reason for that. The fact that I'm sitting here with no obsession to drink is a miracle to me. No other word for it. I was thinking about dying a little over five months ago.
The message I have to carry is "It works."...If you want it. And I wanted it.
Now I want to share it with somebody. What a beautiful gift....Grace.
I look forward to enjoying this site. Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Great post Matt,
AA and this forum are keeping me sober. What I liked about your post was that you were willing to go to any lengths to get sober, you gave AA your best shot and it worked for you.
I really believe AA does work if you follow the program.
My obsession is leaving me or at least going underground and giving me some peace at last.
Thankyou
CaiHong
AA and this forum are keeping me sober. What I liked about your post was that you were willing to go to any lengths to get sober, you gave AA your best shot and it worked for you.
I really believe AA does work if you follow the program.
My obsession is leaving me or at least going underground and giving me some peace at last.
Thankyou
CaiHong
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by CaiHong 
Great post Matt,
AA and this forum are keeping me sober. What I liked about your post was that you were willing to go to any lengths to get sober, you gave AA your best shot and it worked for you.
I really believe AA does work if you follow the program.
My obsession is leaving me or at least going underground and giving me some peace at last.
Thankyou
CaiHong
AA and this forum are keeping me sober. What I liked about your post was that you were willing to go to any lengths to get sober, you gave AA your best shot and it worked for you.
I really believe AA does work if you follow the program.
My obsession is leaving me or at least going underground and giving me some peace at last.
Thankyou
CaiHong
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