finaltime

Day 16 here. Withdrawals are almost over. Still the uneasiness during down times where I would usually be high. My brain Is awake now. Different feelings and smells and newness is coming to me daily. It can be scary to me at times. Makes me sad to think of how many years went by where I was Coated with pills. So what is next? If I want to stay clean I have to live in the now. My brain wants to do so much when it has all this clarity. I am hoping to start using this energy for exercise. Hope everyone is doing good! Any advice on what to do with a busy brain? Lol

IvanKatz

Exercise and nutrition is a HUGE step forward in your recovery! There are lots of posts about this subject here on SR.
Once you start exercising, your brain will begin it's healing process much faster!

chained

(You)CanDoIt,
I am so happy for you! You are gathering more and more days under your belt. Isn't that whole taste and smell thing weird. There is a clarity is the senses that we don't even realize that we were missing out on. Your body is healing itself and it is grateful for your decision. So, how to busy an active brain. This is a great time to do some exploring of what kinds of things you like to do. When we are using, everything we do revolves around drugs or drinking. Our brain is consumed ALL of the time with it. So, when I got clean and as my brain became more clear, I found myself feeling the same way. In a way, I felt empowered by all of this clarity. When I was in treatment, I was warned that day would come and to embrace it and "do something with it or it will do something with you." We can start out with projects and hobbies. Ultimately, it is this energy that we are going to draw from to fulfill our goals and dreams. This energy allowed me to become the mother that I wanted to be. It gave me ability to work with difficult and challenging people. Like you said, I could exercise again. I was able to do all of the things that made up who I was! It was scarey, because then I had to get to know myself. I'm not too bad...most of the time. =0) I thank God every day.

johnrambo

You can always go to Church. The cool thing about Church is even if you don't believe in God you can still go. Most of us are there already for AA meetings anyway.

finaltime

Thanks for all the kind words. I am going to try my best to expend my energy into my daughter, she is my world. Today was a weird day for me...I am fighting a cold, which makes me even more tired and cranky, but sitting in a meeting at work today I started getting these huge emotions of remorse for all the hurt I have caused. The lies, the money, how I fought tooth and nail to keep myself looking good and would put anybody else down in the way to take the heat. I need to take some time and really think about the emotions that are coming through now, and what steps I want to take to heal them. Since my family lives far far away, my most important steps right now are to work through the hurt I have caused my so. I am thankful that I came clean when I did, and not another year or another country from now. This whole sobriety thing is not easy to take, I guess that is why they say , "one day at a time!"

johnrambo

Yep, keep on keepin' on. Before you know it the days turn into weeks, weeks into months. I remember at 3 months in I felt like crap and was thinking about giving in but kept goin'. Here I am at 6 1/2 months and finally starting to feel good.

chained

Have you looked in to 12 step meetings? One of the many beautiful things about these is that you work from accepting your addiction all the way to working through all of that guilt and remorse, piece by piece. They do it in such a way that you are given specific direction how to approach each step so its not so overwhelming. That is what your sponsor and the other people in the meeting are there for...to guide you in working the steps.
Thoughts?

finaltime

Day 19 and struggling. Don't want to use, that's not even an option. More of struggling with life. The big picture. NA is great, and I do need to go. More a matter of time with me. I am going to survive and come out stronger then ever. It's just these hard days when I feel lethargic, sick, and questioning everything and anything that get to me. NA is almost necessary if I want to continue on this path. Thanks for the comments.

Dee74

I think supports important and connecting with people who understand is too, for sure.
If you can get that with NA, go for it

D

johnrambo

I know exactly what you mean. Stick with it, things will start to fall into place. It took me 15 years to get this way, it'll take more than a couple of months to get better. But the good news is, with time, we will get better. The cool thing about the aa promises is they come true.