AlDorado

and over the last week or so I have wanted a beer badly. Partly due to holidays, partly due to enjoying beer and lot of it due to stress. I don't know. It's been a trying couple of days. I feel like beer has been beckoning to me. I just don't know what to do.

Dee74

Hi Al
congrats on 5 months

What do you use for support?

D

AlDorado

I have a friend who's been sober over 20 years that I check in with but I haven't talked to him lately. I'm not really a go to meetings guy. It works for lots of people don't get me wrong, it's just not my thing. I've been thinking about re-joining the gym after taking over a year off from it.

Gerbosko

Are you actually enjoying beer, or is the beer enjoying you?

Alcohol has lots of ways of fooling our brains that we're enjoying something when we really are not. It dulls our senses and makes us oblivious to what's happening around us. Is a "buzz" from alcohol really an enjoyable high, or has the alcohol disrupted the normal operations of our body?

Is alcohol having the advantage of keeping you in arms length, where you're thinking about it after 5 months, or are you going to move forward and keep a sober head on your shoulders? You've made quite the accomplishment by making it to 5 months, but moping on false beliefs about alcohol is very dangerous for the alcoholic.

If you enjoyed alcohol, you'd still be drinking... right? .

Dee74

I'm not a 'go to meetings guy' either Al - but I still have to work on my recovery, daily.

I figure if I'm not doing anything to change/improve myself, I'm still the same guy who used to drink, and that's a dangerous position for anyone here to be in.

I think support is vital for continued success - noone does this alone IMO. We all need that outside perspective sometimes

For me I come here a lot for support - if your friend is your go to guy then maybe it's time to go to him again?

D

cuyootoo

I think you should be enjoying your life, so maybe you could change certain aspects that are stressing you and transform them into something that will bring you joy?

least

Congrats on your five months sober!

soberred

You're one day behind me. Keep it up. Holidays are tough but try and remember the he!! alcohol put you through. It is so worth staying sober. Stay strong.

sugarbear1

My guess is you'll become a meeting kind of guy soon. Like anyone else, we don't wanna be there, but we go to save our lives.

AlDorado

Not really. I used to work in human services and there were meetings going on outside my office door every day. I just wasn't into it. Maybe it was just that particular meeting but it just seemed like a lot of drama queens in those things and while I certainly don't believe that everybody is that way at every meeting out there across the country, listening to those over the years I was there was enough to know it wasn't something I really wanted to participate in.
It seemed like for every person that was invested and had a genuine story to tell, there were 5 people that were talking all sorts of stupid drama about something and just wanted to listen to themselves talk. I found it to be grating and obnoxious and not really making for a positive path for recovery.

That said,
I love reading and I love the web and am more of a believer in books and articles and peoples' stories here as I can sort of filter out all of the afforementioned drama and get to the point of what it is I am seeking.

The pangs I was feeling passed and I have been very productive. It's just that life sometimes has its lulls and you get into a funk and for myself, the little guy on my shoulder appeared over the last few days and sort of took me by surprise to be honest. So I came here, I checked in, you guys have offered perspective and I poked around at some other stories and I'm ok. Still sober, still searching, but ok.

So thank yous all around to all of you and I'm sure I'll be back but in the meantime good luck to all of you as well on your paths.

AlDorado

This I agree with 100%.

DarrenW

Congrats on the five months. I am only at day 18 myself. I just dry to vision what alcohol really is- a highly flammable poison that systematically destroys your body. Good luck.