12 Step Girl

Yea, hes definitely back to being a typical Alcoholic,,after 4,5 yrs sobriety, all the signs of use are back. Currently 9 days late with child support, and today get a notice from bank that his recent check from a seperate loan I made him has bounced! Nice,,very nice time of year to do this,,,oh and did I mention he is away on vacation for the 4th time this year???

Doesnt have money to support his son, but plenty to go do what he wants. Man, I opened the bank notice in front of my son, and heaved a huge sigh of despair, and sonny asks "Whats wrong Mommy?" I say "I cant tell you" He insists and insists and I say "Im not supposed to tell you anything bad about your father"...He says "ohhhhhh"...so now he knows its something to do with good old dad.So,,I know Im not suppose to tell im what he did,,,BUT I did!! S***, Ive done the worst thing,,,shouldnt project my anger onto him. But,,Im human,,,,promise myself to try to do better next time.

I go to brng in my garabge bin, and instead, I chose to kick the S**** out of it! Woooo hoooo, nice way to release stress. I look at shoes and say "Thank god for clunky platforms". No marks on shoes, am relieved. Thats all I need is a nice little consequence for my angry "acting out".

So, made the decision to hire an attorney tomorrow, Luckily I know someone (And guess what??? HE is an active alcoholic,,,hahah this should be fun!) Going to attempt to have child support garnished from paycheck. Should totally humiliate him with his company. Awwwww, what a shame! I guess that would be HIS consequence?

I tell ya,,,,,2 months ago, this was not the same man....the "Sober" ex husband would NEVER EVER do this. Now, he is someone I dont even recognize. Im gonna have to say alottttttt of anti-resentment prayers for this toad tonight.

Trying to make Christmas nice for my son,,,,money is tight, though ok enough to get him what he wants...that relieves my guilt for the "affecting" we both are doing to him. But I;ll say this, my beautiful 11 year old goes to Ala-teen and he loves it. Thank god!!!!!

Thanks for letting me vent,,,its better than kicking the garbare can!

LettingGo

I can feel your pain! I have received $65.00 in the last 1 1/2 years for my three children!!! It is very frustrating when we have to worry about the most basic of living needs like food, shoes, socks without holes, copays for dentists etc.... It is not fair, but we are the ones who get the blessings of having the sweet little souls in our life. Take care....

12 Step Girl

Youre very very right, Jamie. My baby boy IS the light of my life. And he is frequently on my gratitude list!