Hello To All!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 50
Hello To All!
I've been lurking on this website for about 40 days or so, the same amount of time I've been sober. Before this stint of sobriety, the longest I've gone without drinking was 10 days over a +10 year period. I've been a functioning alcoholic in some ways; but an alcoholic I've known I was for a long time. Finally had a kid at the age of 34 and that I would have to say was the biggest motivating factor to quit drinking. I found it hard to look him in the eyes because I knew I was taking time from our relationship by spending time drinking and because I was killing myself prematurely with it. (and who doesn't want to watch their kid grow up?)
I've enjoyed the site; reading stories and relating to some of your struggles. I must say I feel great and love my new found time and money. I have fallen back in love with television and saving money. When I was drinking, the money I would spend really didn't hurt because I was buying something I needed and I would always buy the economical products. Skol vodka and keystone light were always my drinks of choice, mainly the vodka. I would probably spend about 50 bucks a week on just the alcohol, but there was also money spent on gasoline and snacks because of the alcohol. One of my most favorite things to do has always been drive to the liquor store, which is 12 miles from my town, and then drive back-roads all the way back home. In high school that was what kids did on the weekend and I found it reminiscent and relaxing. Anyway, all the gas I would spend driving them, I'm guessing, made my total weekly expense at 70 bucks. Seeing the cash accumulate has been the most satisfying aspect of this whole thing. I can spend money on things that are material and have resale value. When you buy alcohol, you can't even take it back to the store you bought it from to get your money back...No Returns! It's funny, my last day to drink I went and bought a 30 pack of Keystone and a half gallon of skol vodka. It cost 30 bucks. I drank a little of each that night and now that vodka still sits in my freezer and beer still sits in my cabinet. I keep both "just in case". I like to have a safety net, but I don't THINK I need it.
It's been a long time since I've been this happy and I don't see things changing. I'm only 40 or so days in so I know I'm not totally out the woods, but I feel I can take on every problem that comes my way and I don't need the alcohol for any thing that arises.(unless there's a meteor going to collide with the earth and at that point I might just say "**** it")
I've enjoyed the site; reading stories and relating to some of your struggles. I must say I feel great and love my new found time and money. I have fallen back in love with television and saving money. When I was drinking, the money I would spend really didn't hurt because I was buying something I needed and I would always buy the economical products. Skol vodka and keystone light were always my drinks of choice, mainly the vodka. I would probably spend about 50 bucks a week on just the alcohol, but there was also money spent on gasoline and snacks because of the alcohol. One of my most favorite things to do has always been drive to the liquor store, which is 12 miles from my town, and then drive back-roads all the way back home. In high school that was what kids did on the weekend and I found it reminiscent and relaxing. Anyway, all the gas I would spend driving them, I'm guessing, made my total weekly expense at 70 bucks. Seeing the cash accumulate has been the most satisfying aspect of this whole thing. I can spend money on things that are material and have resale value. When you buy alcohol, you can't even take it back to the store you bought it from to get your money back...No Returns! It's funny, my last day to drink I went and bought a 30 pack of Keystone and a half gallon of skol vodka. It cost 30 bucks. I drank a little of each that night and now that vodka still sits in my freezer and beer still sits in my cabinet. I keep both "just in case". I like to have a safety net, but I don't THINK I need it.
It's been a long time since I've been this happy and I don't see things changing. I'm only 40 or so days in so I know I'm not totally out the woods, but I feel I can take on every problem that comes my way and I don't need the alcohol for any thing that arises.(unless there's a meteor going to collide with the earth and at that point I might just say "**** it")
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,378
Welcome to SR Wil
I know you were joking with the meteor but it reminded me...
I grew up in the late 70s early 80s and we were worried about nuclear war then. We little 13yos used to talk about the massive blow out party we'd have if the missiles were coming...kinda an early wake I guess...
If there was a meteor coming or something now, I think I'd rather spend time with those I loved now...
congrats on your 40 days
D
I know you were joking with the meteor but it reminded me...
I grew up in the late 70s early 80s and we were worried about nuclear war then. We little 13yos used to talk about the massive blow out party we'd have if the missiles were coming...kinda an early wake I guess...
If there was a meteor coming or something now, I think I'd rather spend time with those I loved now...
congrats on your 40 days
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 50
Originally Posted by instant 
Well done Wil
What are you going to do with the beer and the vodka?
What are you going to do with the beer and the vodka?
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,916
Welcome!
I would get rid of the beer and vodka in the house. I once had some alcohol in the house that went untouched for a few years. I eventually dumped it . . . down my throat. Not to say I wouldn't have slipped back then anyway, but I sure made it convenient to do so.
I would get rid of the beer and vodka in the house. I once had some alcohol in the house that went untouched for a few years. I eventually dumped it . . . down my throat. Not to say I wouldn't have slipped back then anyway, but I sure made it convenient to do so.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome, Wil!
Glad you posted and shared your story with us. Congrats on the 40 days, too - that's wonderful to hear!
I don't like having alcohol around..... It would have been too tempting at first, but now I think it would just annoy me (?).
Glad you posted and shared your story with us. Congrats on the 40 days, too - that's wonderful to hear!
I don't like having alcohol around..... It would have been too tempting at first, but now I think it would just annoy me (?).
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 50
Listen to this luck...
Thanks for all ya'lls kind welcomes and comments. Love the positivity! Glad to be here!
Listen to my luck...I mobile DJ parties and other events here and there as a side job, right. Well, on Saturday I had a wedding reception. It appeared to be a wedding reception where the party was not supplying any alcohol to the party-goers. Sodas and a couple of different punches. Well, I'm a sucker for a good punch. I joke to my wife after I come back and sit down with my punch,"Wouldn't it suck if this had alcohol in it?" I taste, I drink it. Just tasted like regular ol punch that my baptist Mom would make. Well, I speak with the lady that set up the whole party. She was all tense because she's been running 90 to nothing taking care of every little detail. We ask her when she's going to settle down and enjoy and she says "After I have me a couple of glasses of that champagne punch." The very punch that I got a glass of! I was kind of upset for a second that I had my streak ruined, but the true test is in whether or not it causes me to have another, and then another, etc. I did think for a second, screw it, that was good, let's drink a few more, but my responsibility for the better good took over and told me that one was enough and accidents do happen.
Now this is not going to be the thing that pushes me back, I know that. I think I passed a very tough test. And because I passed so well, I still consider myself at 40+ days and counting. It definitely did not convince me that I could have one and that be it. I KNOOOOOWWW that is NOT the case.
(If any of ya'll are Seinfeld fans this happened on an early episode where there was a Christmas party and Elaine mixes up drinks with a guy in the office that was a known alcoholic who was currently on the wagon. That was all I could think about after it happened. Straight out a sitcom, I swear!)
Listen to my luck...I mobile DJ parties and other events here and there as a side job, right. Well, on Saturday I had a wedding reception. It appeared to be a wedding reception where the party was not supplying any alcohol to the party-goers. Sodas and a couple of different punches. Well, I'm a sucker for a good punch. I joke to my wife after I come back and sit down with my punch,"Wouldn't it suck if this had alcohol in it?" I taste, I drink it. Just tasted like regular ol punch that my baptist Mom would make. Well, I speak with the lady that set up the whole party. She was all tense because she's been running 90 to nothing taking care of every little detail. We ask her when she's going to settle down and enjoy and she says "After I have me a couple of glasses of that champagne punch." The very punch that I got a glass of! I was kind of upset for a second that I had my streak ruined, but the true test is in whether or not it causes me to have another, and then another, etc. I did think for a second, screw it, that was good, let's drink a few more, but my responsibility for the better good took over and told me that one was enough and accidents do happen.
Now this is not going to be the thing that pushes me back, I know that. I think I passed a very tough test. And because I passed so well, I still consider myself at 40+ days and counting. It definitely did not convince me that I could have one and that be it. I KNOOOOOWWW that is NOT the case.
(If any of ya'll are Seinfeld fans this happened on an early episode where there was a Christmas party and Elaine mixes up drinks with a guy in the office that was a known alcoholic who was currently on the wagon. That was all I could think about after it happened. Straight out a sitcom, I swear!)
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,387
Wil,
That sounds like something that would happen to me. Actually, it did - a long time ago. I was taking antabuse and went to a bridal shower...innocent enough, right? The punch tasted great, and since I felt very comfortable with a drink in my hand (I do believe my hand naturally assumed the drink holding position when relaxed) I got some more punch. Anybody that has taken antabuse knows what happened next. Not good.
I didn't have booze again for another eight years.
I did not consider that a slip, relapse, or whatever. It was "accidental ingestion of alcohol". However I really don't understand why you don't throw away that alcohol you have at home. Do you like flirting with disaster? (I did, but I don't want to anymore)
That sounds like something that would happen to me. Actually, it did - a long time ago. I was taking antabuse and went to a bridal shower...innocent enough, right? The punch tasted great, and since I felt very comfortable with a drink in my hand (I do believe my hand naturally assumed the drink holding position when relaxed) I got some more punch. Anybody that has taken antabuse knows what happened next. Not good.
I didn't have booze again for another eight years.
I did not consider that a slip, relapse, or whatever. It was "accidental ingestion of alcohol". However I really don't understand why you don't throw away that alcohol you have at home. Do you like flirting with disaster? (I did, but I don't want to anymore)
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 50
Originally Posted by sissy07
Wil,
However I really don't understand why you don't throw away that alcohol you have at home. Do you like flirting with disaster? (I did, but I don't want to anymore)
However I really don't understand why you don't throw away that alcohol you have at home. Do you like flirting with disaster? (I did, but I don't want to anymore)
The way I look at is...if I want alcohol, I'm going to get alcohol. I know where it is, I've been there plenty of times. Even if I have to drive 30 minutes to get it, I'll go get it. Nothing stops me from drinking it other than myself. So whether or not the alcohol is in my house or down the road, I feel it is the same amount of temptation because if I want it there is nothing stopping me from drinking it. So many times I've said once I finish this bottle that'll be it, no more. And of course, next day, back to drinking once again. It's all up to me and if I can look the devil in the eye and laugh at his temptation and resist then that's a bigger victory for me under my belt.(also, I'm a cheap ass. That vodka and beer has value, I'm not dumping it down the drain. Also, I don't have any friends that are worthy enough of such a gift so there it sits.
)Now I'm not going to get up in the middle of the night and sneak a drink behind my wife's back just to make her think I'm still on the wagon. It's all for me and my family. I would only be cheating myself.
All that being said, I would like to quite smoking and if I have a cigarette in the house it sure does make me want it more, but the alcohol hasn't done that yet.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,378
I'm not a fan of keeping alcohol at home as a test either Wil.
It always seems to be we men that do this too - there's a thesis in that somewhere.
Sure alcohol is everywhere - all the more reason not to keep it in my home, yeah?
The way I see it - and I have been there - there's a world of difference to me in going out and getting alcohol - I have a million chances to reconsider my decision from the time I leave my house to the time I get back...
having it in my house - all it takes is a split second rash decision...
Personally, I think a real test of strength would be in throwing it out
D
It always seems to be we men that do this too - there's a thesis in that somewhere.
Sure alcohol is everywhere - all the more reason not to keep it in my home, yeah?
The way I see it - and I have been there - there's a world of difference to me in going out and getting alcohol - I have a million chances to reconsider my decision from the time I leave my house to the time I get back...
having it in my house - all it takes is a split second rash decision...
Personally, I think a real test of strength would be in throwing it out
D
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 50
Last night I opened up the freezer to get some ice for my Hawaiian Punch and for a split second I glimpsed at the vodka that has been sitting there for quite some time untouched and I thought how easy it would be to get some. At that time I realized you guys are very right in saying that it doesn't need to be in the house. I am not going to pour it down the drain in some ceremony as a symbol of my new found sobriety, but I do know what I'm going to do with it this weekend; it will be given away to a friend that can control themselves better than me with alcohol.
I know deep inside I was keeping it there just in case I started drinking again. I didn't want to have to buy some more. I'm a cheap @ss realist.
Thank you Dee and Sissy for your insightful posts!
I know deep inside I was keeping it there just in case I started drinking again. I didn't want to have to buy some more. I'm a cheap @ss realist.
Thank you Dee and Sissy for your insightful posts!
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