dandj2010

I have posted before about my addicted Mother in Law. She has left a detox after three days insisting she didn't "need it". I have not spoke to her in almost a week. She has never really been nice to me.. after many attempts to try and help her. Why is it.. that I am depressed restless and anxious at this point? Have I turned over this much of my power to an addict? My mind is somehow playing tricks on me..thinking maybe the oxy bottle we found and her inability to go to work since Oct.. is something I imagined. Or the reports from a co-worker of her nodding and purchasing bags of pills from her sister. My MIL is acting like nothing happened. I sit her feeling crazy. thoughts?

dandj2010

All I can think of is I just find it insane that two weeks ago.. now this week life is roses! The only only issue for me is maybe this can be triggering old stuff? I am very resentful that I am married to someone and i am forced to deal with this.

Windblown

Actually, you have a choice Not to deal with her if it is not in your best interest. You can avoid her, minimize contact, instill coping mechanisms if you feel you have to deal with her, and take self-care measurements afterwards. (I learned this in a mood management class last night on how tomdeal with triggers...like your Mother in Law. I actually use the avoid method with my Father as he can trigger me into the crazies...He is not supportive of me and criticizes all my actions...therefore I speak to him once or twice a year. It works. He's not going to change so I made the choice to change my frequency of involvement with him. You can too.

dandj2010

Hi Anvil,
I knew something was up and was aware that she use drugs. She had a son that was killed 10 yrs ago and I thought it was due that. I come to later on find out... she starting using at 16.

dandj2010

That is what I am trying to figure out.. why I am so upset. Probably bc she does nothing bc criticize my parenting..but never watches my boys( would never happen now anyway) she has assaulted my husband ( who is a police officer) and tries to act better than everyone! She was actually mocking people in detox.. saying how bad they where! It just baffles me! Both my parents were alcoholics and my mom was bipolar. I am assuming just brings up old feelings. idk.

dandj2010

In reading so many of the things on this forum I see that I am the only person who can change. I have a great life.. great sons and a great husband. If I allow her addition to consume me...I will ruin the life I have created. One day at a time I guess. Thank you for your advice.