DarrenW

Ok, I have been sober for 15 days now. I have two major triggers coming up- the first is a Christmas party (Dec 3) with friends that is a big drinking event. No, I cant get out of it- but I will not drink.

The second is on December 8th- It is a client Christmas party where booze will be everywhere- again, I am committed to not drinking, and I have to be there.

In years past I am probably 15 for 15 in consuming too much alcohol during these events.

I am going to take your comments- paste them to a word document- and carry them with me at both parties...heck, I might just keep them on me through the rest of the year.

What would be great is posting anything you believe will be helpful. Perhaps instances where you gave in and really regretted it, instances where you held strong and felt proud afterward, etc. I also think others can use your comments during the next month. I do not want to wake up with a hangover and be on Day 1 ever again.

Thanks

soberjim

Darren... I think it can be summed up nicely in your signature line
'I want to be the person GOD expects me to be
*** myself'

doggonecarl

There are a lot of things we can't get out of. Not sure I'd put Christmas parties on that list...but that's just me.

So, if you are determined to go, all I can say that might be helpful to you is have an exit strategy in place should the temptation to drink become too strong. And good luck.

Fandy

15 days sober and a Christmas party centered around drinking? i don't think it's a good idea, but if you want to go, offer to be the designated driver

Bimm

If you "must" go to this party and feel the urge to drink, just excuse yourself and take a long walk or drive.
FWIW, I'm sober just 13 days and have already bowed out of a December 3rd party that would also be booze centric. I came clean and explained to the hostess my reason for cancelling and she was very supportive and understanding. For me attending this event was/is a very bad idea.

DarrenW

The December 8th is, unfortunately, job related. I plan on arriving late, drinking sprite and leaving early. It starts at 6 and is over at around 9. I will probably just be there from 7pm until 8pm.

The one this Saturday is more related to my wife and daughter. They are very close friends with these folks and we dont see them regularly. Perhaps I can get out of this one.

I appreciate your comments!

Tigger41

For me I always go to these work functions swearing I'm not going to drink too much and then I do most of the time, not all but most. For me this year the best thing will be waking up and not having to be ashamed or embarrassed over what I did the night before or how someone has seen me (and this includes my children)

I went to a work event last year where our VP got smashed out of her mind. Danced on the table and fell bruised her eye and everything. She didn't seem to give a hoot the next day who had seen her but I remember feeling embarrassed for her that night. I don't ever want anyone to feel that for me and I don't ever want to feel it again myself.

So in my wallet I'd put

"I want to wake up tomorrow and not be ashamed or embarrassed"

WhoDey

Darren ... excellent timing with beginning this thread as I'm off to my office party in about 30 minutes! Like yours, mine in not optional.

I've been alcohol free for 17 days and I'm not too worried about failing at the party. Like me, I imagine that you've experienced a variety of positives from not drinking for two weeks. That's what I cling to. Like your sig line, I want to be what God intended me to be. I've wasted too much time ... I don't want to waste anymore being anything other than my best.

It's not so much me turning down drinks ... it's more that my new identity is as a non-drinker. I don't drink. Period. No negotiation.

I know you have the strength to do this.

DarrenW

Love it. Thanks!

Anna

Sorry, I have no advice.

I wouldn't go to either event. I wouldn't be sober today if I had gone to parties in early recovery.

wow04

I know for the 1st year I didn't go anywhere there would be alcohol. That meant not even going to my dad's house. It was hard, but I knew I had to do that to keep sober. I don't know if you go to meetings or have a sponser, but if you do I would suggest talking to the sponser about this.

camedown

Protip- always have a glass of water or soda in your hand, that way, when people offer you a drink, you can hold it up and say,"no thanks, got it covered." Also, the focus of having said glass in your hand will be a constant reminder not to drink booze. Good luck!!!


camedown

SDSurfn

Play the tape all the way through.

This really works for me. Think it through. You already know where that first drink will ultimately take you.

Maybe not that same night, but eventually, you know where that first drink will take you.

And I know you don't want to go there. That's why you're here!


-SD

MarylandRick

I love this. In addition to AA and the 12 steps, a new identity as a non drinker has been key to my sobriety. Im no longer trying not to drink, I don't drink. It's liberating to see it that way.

Anatolian

This is good advice and I'd go one step further - when I go out (and when I don't) I drink coffee - iced coffee if available or just a spoonful of instant, a little boiling water to dissolve and top up with cold water and ice.
I drink this in a highball glass with a straw.

Presumably at an office party, you'll have access to the kitchen. Bring your own straws if there aren't any there - presumably the coffee is provided but if not, bring that too.

The caffeine does give you a little buzz and you don't feel like you're drinking 'nothing'.

It works for me and I've been sober 17 years.

Hope this helps. Break a leg.

Deserto

You could always just come down with the flu on December 8th.

ReadyAndAble

Why can't you skip the parties? Would you go if you had a bad case of the flu? Of course not. And influenza is unlikely to kill you. Alcoholism quite easily can. But it usually causes a lot of anguish first.

If you must go, how about pasting this in your Word doc? It's from one of your first posts.

You're doing great, Darren. Keep it up. And seriously, give going to these parties a second thought. They'll get along fine without you.

LovesToTravel

I went to a wedding about 2 weeks in. I drank virgin marys with lots of olives. I never liked bloody marys but these made me feel like I had something. Also if you observe the crowd being a non-drinker you will notice that most of the people are light drinkers. It is enlightening!

And I really enjoyed driving home knowing I was in complete control.

WhoDey

Okay, just back from my office party and I survived ... Pepsi and coffee. A couple of times co-workers asked if I wanted a drink, but I just politely said "no - I'm sticking to soda." End of questions.

I think each person needs to be honest with themselves and determine if they can safely navigate such social situations where alcohol is readily available. If you're early in sobriety and there would be too much temptation, I would just stay home. On the other hand, some can handle these situations and they can actually be empowering. I feel really good for having weathered the storm.

DarrenW

Thanks for the post. I actually like the challenge of going and not drinking. Since I know I can do it I think it will be interesting to watch how alcohol effects people. I am going to take Sprite and limes- no one will peer pressure me (wouldnt work anyway).