Dominica2

I just wanted to get some input on this. How did you cope with extreme stress suring your recovery? Any help would be appriciated.

FoundmySelf

Dominica, I think the best thing you can do for yourself is make a decison.. get a plan.. commit to your plan... go to AA and get a sponsor and start working the steps or find something that will work for you. With out a plan or a program of some sort (be in AA, SMART, AVRT something) I think you are bound to always find yourself in the same position. Life is full of stressful situations it is not the stress we need to learn how to deal with so much.. it is admitting that we have a problem with Alcohol and finding a plan to deal with life with out the booze.

Dominica2

I am in school now, I really dont have time for AA, except on the weekends. My problem is that I am VERY broke, and I am trying to get through the fact that my daughter may not have a christmas and for me, that is a very stressful situation that I will not drink over, I dont have the money for presents for her, im definitely not going to drink. I just need some pointers on things to help relax while having to deal with a very difficult and important financial time of the year.

DrivenHeart85

People always tell me one word when I ask that question....exercise. It doesn't solve your problem, but if there's no way of solving the problem anyway, it at least helps you calm down about it and work out some of the negativity physically.

FoundmySelf

Dom, please don't take this the wrong way because I am not intending it to come across as b*tchy.. however when you say you don't have time for AA that to me just sounds like an excuse and your not ready. If you are serious about your sobriety you will do whatever it takes to get to a meeting. Life is full of busy. Right now it is school, next it will be work, it never ends. You have to put you first in this equation or the rest of it won't matter.

SamanthaIam

One of the good things about being sober is: it's possible to stop, take a deep breath, think things through, make a good decision about what to do.

While drinking, I always just went to a knee-jerk overreaction style of dealing with stress, and it made it much worse every time.

So Thing One is don't drink -- and Thing Two is be grateful for the clarity and ability you have while sober.

Dominica2

@ found -Well I am in school every weeknight until almost 10:00pm and I work a full time job. Most meetings end here at 9pm, I just cant do it, im on financial aid, I cant skip school to go to AA. I will be going to 3 meetings on the weekends, but when quarter break comes up, I will get back into the AA meetings full time.

@ driven - I hear that a lot too. I will have to get on my treadmill that is collecting dust before I go to work in the morning lol

NewBeginning010

Double post... see below \/

NewBeginning010

Hi Dominica2,

Sorry to hear about the financial challenges, a lot of us are going through this right now.

I think you can turn this into a double positive situation for yourself & your daughter. I am sure you could by a wonderful present with the money you save from not drinking for the next 25 days.

Not only that but the gift of sobriety & spending some real quality time with your daughter if far more valuable than anything else you could give her.

In regards to stress reduction.... exercise, yoga, meditation & positive thinking should give you a good start.

You can do this

Dominica2

@ Found -Well I am in school every weeknight until almost 10:00pm and I work a full time job. Most meetings end here at 9pm, I just cant do it, im on financial aid, I cant skip school to go to AA. I will be going to 3 meetings on the weekends, but when quarter break comes up, I will get back into the AA meetings full time.

@ Driven - I hear that a lot too. I will have to get on my treadmill that is collecting dust before I go to work in the morning lol


@ Sam - I will definitely think about it more positively whenever I feel like screaming, hopefully. lol

Dominica2

New- Thanks. That is a great perspective.

sugarbear1

You made time to drink, why not put time into staying stopped?

Call Salvation Army, another organization or church for help with gifts from Santa!

Best wishes on staying stopped!

lookinforward

Dom-This time of year is very stressful....I agree. Never enough money....the stress on us over our kids and the promise of Christmas can push our buttons.It is important to remember that they will love us no matter what. A sober parent is the best gift that we can give our children.
You are not alone
Dave

Pigtails

I am trying to get to AA meetings that start at 6:45 am because I have a full work schedule and things planned most evenings. I have never been a morning person but I am committed to sobriety and will do whatever it takes. There are meetings at all different times and places in my city -- over lunch breaks, early mornings, etc. I think that if you truly want to stop you need to change something to make sobriety a priority. I'm not saying you HAVE to go to AA but it sounds like you've been unsuccessful on your own (which I understand and have done too) so make a plan that involves commitment to some other way, not just the same old same old, or you will wind up right back where you started.

When I am stressed I take a time out and go off by myself I can. I breathe deeply and tell myself that this moment will pass. I 'pray," as in meditate/voice my concerns out loud. I might write in a journal or come post on SR, or get to a meeting if I can. I just take a time out for myself to de-compress, and then when I get back to "real life," it feels much easier, like a burden is off my shoulders.

Exercise is good too but at this point I think AA meetings should come before execise, and both seem to take up about the same amount of time, so I give the priority to AA when there's a conflict. Good luck.

Dominica2

Thanks for the insight.

soberred

When my oldest was little, I was single and broke. There was a program that a friend of mine signed my daughter up for that provided gifts for my child. There may be a program in your area. I understand your worries. However your child is young and will be happier in the long run with a sober mommy.

Gerbosko

Dominica2, first welcome back since I haven't seen you for a few days.

I was sober for around 27 days and then I lost my job, was extremely frustrated and upset with myself because it was my fault. Although I disagreed for the reason they let me go, I had to face it.

How I got through that situation is drinking a lot of water, going for a LONG walk and really thinking about my life.. What did I do right? What did I do wrong? etc etc. I am still in the process but what I'm doing is replacing the things I did wrong with things that are going to benefit me. Filling out applications, going back to school, and looking towards the future and learning from past mistakes. Life goes on, it doesn't stop when you mess up so I had to flat out just accept it - Head on, sober, and willing to move on. It wasn't easy, but I made it possible.

You cannot change your life if you sit in one spot .

Wishing you the best.

soberlicious

If your daughter is school aged, you could contact someone at the school to see if they have any programs. Our school does that around this time of year. Also, I just want to say good on you for not drinking over this. Nothing is ever worth drinking over. Nothing.

When I'm dealing with stress, first off I recognize it's not the situation in and of itself that is stressful, it's my reaction to and feelings about the situation that are stressful. I find that the more I try to "combat" how I feel or rid myself of the feelings quickly the worse I feel, which causes me to become easiy mired and less able to find a sulution (if one is even called for). I allow myself to feel what arises without fear...fearing the feelings makes them bigger for me...amost overwheming. I just acknowledge, for example, "anxiety is passing through me", "anger is passing through me" "sadness is passing though me" etc. For me trying to end it quickly or rid myself of it doesn't work. I "sit with it" and it passes. Not sure any of that makes sense lol...but I wish you peace Dom.

ACOAHappyNow

The gifts I cherished most from my parents was the time they took to walk the neighborhood with me and look at the houses lit up with Xmas lights. I really don't remember any other gifts but the gift of their time and their attention stands out very much in my mind.

raindancer11

You have a lot to deal with. I had this need to get my life in order and do all the right things ASAP. Eventually, I had to let go of expectations of myself and of others. Some days are so stressful that the only thing to be thankful for is that I'm on this side of sobriety, no longer wishing I was sober but actually living it. Look at what you're giving your daughter by being sober. If you really appreciate it, you find a sense of peace despite the stress.