Pigtails

Today is the exact opposite of yesterday. Yesterday I woke up early, went to the gym, and felt super energetic and happy. Today I woke up late (to my credit, my alarm somehow powered off overnight), and didn't want to get out of bed. I just had no motivation to come to work. I felt depressed, and then once I did get up, I felt sluggish and super tired. I still feel that way... almost hungover. :-O My eyes are droppy and tired, I felt light-headed and just dragged down. I am going to apply for a different career opportunity and I think I just have absolutely no motivation left to stay working at my current job. I lack focus and concentration.

My muscles are a bit sore from working out yesterday. Perhaps I'm doing too much too soon. Or else I'm just really bummed at myself for missing the morning meeting I was planning to go to, and for getting up late and putting those first wrinkles in my day. I also think I should have gotten to bed earlier last night, but it's hard with an evening meeting and then needing to grocery shop and wash laundry for today... I feel proud of myself for being productive and responsible, but also a bit overloaded/overwhelmed. It would feel nice to just relax and watch a movie or something, but I seem to have no time left in my day for anything but busyness.

Thanks for listening to me whine. :-/

IndaMiricale

Anytime Pigtails

First congrats on your time. And try not to over do it , it does seem you doin alot fast.

It feels good to be productive and workout and all , but your body and mind really need some peace also.

Remember you didnt get here in a month, so it take your body a long time to rebuild. So ups and downs are normal. As we go we definatly get more ups than the other . wink

Keep it up ,

Good love , Inda

Pigtails

Thank you. Yeah, I think I just need some rest. I read posts about going to rehab and I get jealous. I would love to have time to just recover. I feel so pressured trying to live in the world and not drink... at this point I'm not even driven to drink, but it's more an internal feeling of being scared and stressed and depressed all at the same time. I wish I could just take a break and do nothing but focus on myself and my feelings and desires, which seems really selfish, but also somewhat necessary.

It's good to remember that there are good days/moments and bad days/moments. Thanks.

When I'm here posting on SR, or at a meeting or reading about recovery, I feel uplifted. But I have this pesky thing called a job I'm supposed to be doing, but I really don't feel capable of doing it when I feel so crazy.

pikkle69

Part of the thing that I'm sure made a lot of people start drinking in the first place was the ups and downs of every day life... I had about a 3 day spell last week where I was feeling particularly down for no apparent reason (other than those I'm all ready aware of.) Today I woke up and felt fairly good. Can't put a finger on it yet, brain is still re-wiring after 5 weeks so I'm sure that has plenty to do with it.

Dee74

I think many of us have this innate belief recovery is linear...the more distance we put between ourselves and drinking the better we'll feel...and thats not the case.

Everyone has good days and bad days, alcoholics or not...there are days when we spring out of bed and days when we want to take a hammer to the alarm clock...that's life I think

I do recommend a good diet, trying to make some 'you' time someone in there, and a good night's sleep tho

D

Pigtails

I'm aiming for all these things, but I'm so not used to them that I feel like I get overwhelmed trying to fix my whole life all at once. So for me, I'm hoping that through recovery I can develop the tools I need to live a "normal" life, and that will make me feel better in the long-term. I do need to get to bed earlier than I did last night because it seems to make a big difference for me in the morning!

Jay1980

I'm probably gonna screw this up but my friend told me a saying that goes something like, "My worst day sober is better than my best day drinking". I think that's what it was. Not every day in sobriety is going to be great but not drinking is the one thing you should try to focus on. Hang in there

overthis

"My worst day sober is better than my best day drinking"- Thank you Jay, this sounds about right. It is definitely a needed reminder in our recovery.