seek

I think in creating new habits and letting go of old habits, there are many facets to address . . .one, for me, is anger and disgust at the alcoholic, which surfaces periodically. I personally do Ho'Oponopono, and that helps - no cognitive, rational approach works for me (in other words, I can read how I "should" not have these feelings, that the A is sick, etc., but the fact remains, I HAVE the feelings, they are legitimate and could even be warranted) . . .but they don't feel good . . .

So I am wondering what you all do when anger and disgust arise - not to mention fear and worry . . .

HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH NEGATIVE EMOTIONS?

boomerlady

Seek, ways that I relieve myself of anger and negative feelings from living with my AH are: 1. al-anon where I can share about my anger and not be ridiculed, 2. talk to my al-anon sponsor or another al-anon friend, 3. talk to my counselor, 4. do something active like hitting a tennis ball or zumba. I love zumba because it's very aerobic, and you can imagine yourself releasing anger when you are doing the moves. I'm trying to focus on myself and set boundaries with my AH in order to be less angry in the future. Good luck because I know it's very difficult to not be angry and yes, much of our anger is warranted. It is something that I also struggle with.

nodaybut2day

1) Journaling
2) Counselling
3) Kickboxing
4) Acceptance
5) Time

MsPINKAcres

I think what helped me the most was reading in Al-Anon that feelings are neither "good nor bad" they just are!

So I don't have "should feel this way" or "shouldn't feel this way" to myself.

My feelings are mine and I can have them . . .

The healthy thing for me is to NOT react on these feelings but to process them and not stuff them and allow them to come out sideways and hurt my friends and family.

Journal
talk with my sponsor
post on SR (to vent - lol)
scrub/clean the house
exercise the anger out of my body -
relax in the shower/bubble bath
meditation/deep breathing

Acknowledge and release the anger is my thoughts on it!

It has helped me so much rather than for many years telling myself I couldn't be angry - well I was and I had to learn what to do with that anger!

PINK HUGS
Rita

lillamy

I let myself feel them.

Then I try to determine whether they're really caused by something external or whether the entire universe all of a sudden just caught a severe case of a-hole-ism. (If it's the latter, it's probably my attitude and not someone else's behavior that's the problem.)

And then I move on.

choublak

I wash the dirty dishes. We don't have a dishwasher.

akrasia

Honestly I re-direct myself. Like you do with a toddler. I just do something pleasant, that makes me happy. Luckily I've got a great gym nearby with fun classes. Or a run, with friends. Or baking--tonight it was pralines.

Learn2Live

OMG ANVIL I LOVE THAT LIST!!!! THANK YOU!!!! (Yes, I'm yelling!)

Learn2Live

Oh... Right... Anger. I used to yell and scream, foam at the mouth, spitting mad yes I sadly know what that means. Now, I keep people who create this in me, AWAY from me. I don't let them in my house. I only let in people I can trust not to do $hit that is so dysfunctional, rude, hateful, & harmful that it makes me angry. I'm much more protective of me now, whereas before, I was involving myself with men who do dysfunctional, rude, hateful, & harmful stuff and then expect THEM to protect me from the hurt. How messed up is THAT??