need support
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Join Date: Nov 2011
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need support
hello all! I stumbled across this website, googling for info one day on Google. I have never been around such issues as alcoholicism. I wasn't quite sure if it really was/is me, or the beer. here's the story!
I have been with this guy for 3 years. He has a past of drinking has had 2 dwi's, lost his license both times. after all those events, he was very happily married almost a year and a half, his wife died in a accident. and ever since about a year after she passed we have been together. Been on & off. about 2 years ago, we decided to move in together. Moved into his place. and since it's been hell.
He always refers to how well he treated "her" (his deceased wife) and things he did with her, for her etc. Her pics are STILL in OUR bedroom, and we have been together a total 3 yrs. I took the pictures down one time, in 2 days they were right back up.
He drink EVERY single day. Some days more than others. We NEVER go to a restaurant that doesn't serve beer.
Well, I was kinda quiet about it to begin with, because I KNEW he had been through allot, BUT now I am starting to open my eyes, and have been wondering for months now.....is he a alcoholic, and his loss maybe just intensified it.
I have tried to talk to him about him, express my concern, tell him he's harming himself, etc. WELL, I get talked ugly to, told I am selfish, and that "beer" is his way of coping with his problems, and that if I dont' like it I can leave etc, and that he can do better. You name it I have heard it all.
I used to would have a social drink with him, and friends etc. But I choose not even want to be around alcohol now because he goes everboard, and then I have to get the punch for it. I hear him say all kinds of things he doesn't remember saying or doing etc.
I have a 7 yr old son, who he treats as his own. He takes him fishing hunting etc, and does do allot for him. But the alcohol ends up getting involved etc.
He says it's all me, and that I expect to much.
My question is? is it really me? do I expect too much from him with all he went thru years ago, or is it the alcohol.
ADVICE PLEASE!!!! thanks!
I have been with this guy for 3 years. He has a past of drinking has had 2 dwi's, lost his license both times. after all those events, he was very happily married almost a year and a half, his wife died in a accident. and ever since about a year after she passed we have been together. Been on & off. about 2 years ago, we decided to move in together. Moved into his place. and since it's been hell.
He always refers to how well he treated "her" (his deceased wife) and things he did with her, for her etc. Her pics are STILL in OUR bedroom, and we have been together a total 3 yrs. I took the pictures down one time, in 2 days they were right back up.
He drink EVERY single day. Some days more than others. We NEVER go to a restaurant that doesn't serve beer.
Well, I was kinda quiet about it to begin with, because I KNEW he had been through allot, BUT now I am starting to open my eyes, and have been wondering for months now.....is he a alcoholic, and his loss maybe just intensified it.
I have tried to talk to him about him, express my concern, tell him he's harming himself, etc. WELL, I get talked ugly to, told I am selfish, and that "beer" is his way of coping with his problems, and that if I dont' like it I can leave etc, and that he can do better. You name it I have heard it all.
I used to would have a social drink with him, and friends etc. But I choose not even want to be around alcohol now because he goes everboard, and then I have to get the punch for it. I hear him say all kinds of things he doesn't remember saying or doing etc.
I have a 7 yr old son, who he treats as his own. He takes him fishing hunting etc, and does do allot for him. But the alcohol ends up getting involved etc.
He says it's all me, and that I expect to much.
My question is? is it really me? do I expect too much from him with all he went thru years ago, or is it the alcohol.
ADVICE PLEASE!!!! thanks!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: europe
Posts: 624
Honey, it is NOT you!!!
He is an A (Alcoholic). He's behavior is typical, probably even more than you can imagine.
There is a lot more I could say to you, but instead I'll just say I'm glad you found this place, as here you can get a lot of info and wisdom on the subject.
I suggest making yourself at home, and reading as much as you can, especially the stickies section on the top of the forum.
That is the best advice I can offer right now, as educating yourself about the disease of alcoholism is IMHO what you need the most right now.
Stick around, you're among people who understand and we'll try to help as much as we can.
Welcome!!!!
He is an A (Alcoholic). He's behavior is typical, probably even more than you can imagine.
There is a lot more I could say to you, but instead I'll just say I'm glad you found this place, as here you can get a lot of info and wisdom on the subject.
I suggest making yourself at home, and reading as much as you can, especially the stickies section on the top of the forum.
That is the best advice I can offer right now, as educating yourself about the disease of alcoholism is IMHO what you need the most right now.
Stick around, you're among people who understand and we'll try to help as much as we can.
Welcome!!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 37
thank you sesh! I need all the info I can get. i feel awful. Just like last night, we had a HUGE argument over beer. He told me in his "drunk" mode Sat night, after drinking a 24 pack since lunch, and then a WHOLE bottle of wine. he told me, I was stupid for getting a pedicure, and that it was a waste of $, and he started on me last night because I asked him what he spent $20 more dollars again et the store....he said that he had to have some beer. I went off....lost my cool. Then he started telling me he is grown, pays his bills, helps look after me & my son, and that I should do my own toes like his deceased wife did! I told him I was not her never will be. He slept on the couch last night, didn't even SPEAK at all to me this morning. this is a normal thing around our house.
He tells me there's nothing wrong with drinking a beer or four everyday! but usually it's more.
advice please.
thanks for your post
He tells me there's nothing wrong with drinking a beer or four everyday! but usually it's more.
advice please.
thanks for your post
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I feel the same way. I don't feel like I am his #1. I totally respect what him & her had, but drinking is NOT the way to help resolve it, and I don't see where I am selfish for asking him to slow down, and rspect me & our relationship that WE have now.
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he also threw up in my face last ngiht, he never goes to the "bar" anymore, nor hangs around with his "friends", and he is home with me 95% of the time.
Well my thing is, the "bar" is a trashy whole in the wall, his "friends" are druggies, jobless, and hang out at the "bar", I woudlnt' call them "friends" and him sitting home drinking, does that make it ok???? i mean seriously
he makes me feel so lame, and horrible. Like I am a whiner and complainer, and like I do expect too much
Well my thing is, the "bar" is a trashy whole in the wall, his "friends" are druggies, jobless, and hang out at the "bar", I woudlnt' call them "friends" and him sitting home drinking, does that make it ok???? i mean seriously
he makes me feel so lame, and horrible. Like I am a whiner and complainer, and like I do expect too much
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Quebec
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Also, perhaps it would be wise to consider the effect all this is having on your son, who is growing up with this man as his role model. Your partner may take your son out fishing and whatnot, but your son is also learning this man's behaviour. Is that what you want for him?
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 451
Needopinions, I can tell you are frustrated. I was too, and still am to some degree, before I found this place. I had some experience with addicts as my mom was a drug addict for years during my youth. I had an alcoholic aunt and grandpa as well. But, I never equated the reasons I chose to be with my current ABF, until after I started reading some of the stories on here. The more you read, the more you see the same merry-go-round that goes on in dysfunctional homes across the country, and the world for that matter.
I have started to get very desensitized to the fact that I am living with an A. I also have a young son who is only 2. Part of the reason I found myself on here talking with others is because I recognized that his father has a problem. His father's problem is going to cause problems in our son's life if I can't pull my head out of my arse and get things figured out for us. I realize that and am taking action by getting myself healthy again, happy again and making plans for the future.
I can tell you after living with an addict for 4.5 years that they don't change. Maybe a few here and there do, but read these boards, the majority DON'T. I understand you probably wanted to help heal the hurt in your bf's heart because of his loss. I hate to say this, but I think he fills that hole up with alcohol. You cannot help him get over his loss, you can't control his drinking. You certainly did not cause him to behave the way he does. Do you think it is fair that you have to take the brunt of his decisions? How long do you want to feel like the third (or fourth wheel to his deceased wife, alcohol, your son, and then YOU)? Are you getting what you need out of this relationship?
I know I get NOTHING out of the relationship with my ABF except stress, worry, grief, disbelief. It is often said that a person who lives with an alcoholic feels alone. I personally have never felt so alone in a relationship in my entire life. I have said it before and I will say it again, I feel like I live with a roomie I can't stand half the time. How do you feel living in your current environment? Have you had healthy relationships in the past, if so, how does this one compare?
I am going to try to get to an Al-Anon meeting sometime very soon as I hear they are pretty awesome to get some support, meet some friends and have people in your life that aren't addicts. Maybe you could try one or two of them? Educate yourself on alcoholism and its effects on kids. It is pretty eye-opening. Addiction(s) whether to drugs or alcohol really take a toll on how children relate to adult relationships and their expectations for their own relationships later in life. I know I want my son to see and experience happy, healthy, fulfulling relationships built on trust, empathy and compassion for others. I don't want him to think a woman should 'stick by her man' and get verbally and emotionally abused day in and day out as I don't want him to face a similar circumstance in his future because of my actions. How do you want your son to relate to relationships?
I have started to get very desensitized to the fact that I am living with an A. I also have a young son who is only 2. Part of the reason I found myself on here talking with others is because I recognized that his father has a problem. His father's problem is going to cause problems in our son's life if I can't pull my head out of my arse and get things figured out for us. I realize that and am taking action by getting myself healthy again, happy again and making plans for the future.
I can tell you after living with an addict for 4.5 years that they don't change. Maybe a few here and there do, but read these boards, the majority DON'T. I understand you probably wanted to help heal the hurt in your bf's heart because of his loss. I hate to say this, but I think he fills that hole up with alcohol. You cannot help him get over his loss, you can't control his drinking. You certainly did not cause him to behave the way he does. Do you think it is fair that you have to take the brunt of his decisions? How long do you want to feel like the third (or fourth wheel to his deceased wife, alcohol, your son, and then YOU)? Are you getting what you need out of this relationship?
I know I get NOTHING out of the relationship with my ABF except stress, worry, grief, disbelief. It is often said that a person who lives with an alcoholic feels alone. I personally have never felt so alone in a relationship in my entire life. I have said it before and I will say it again, I feel like I live with a roomie I can't stand half the time. How do you feel living in your current environment? Have you had healthy relationships in the past, if so, how does this one compare?
I am going to try to get to an Al-Anon meeting sometime very soon as I hear they are pretty awesome to get some support, meet some friends and have people in your life that aren't addicts. Maybe you could try one or two of them? Educate yourself on alcoholism and its effects on kids. It is pretty eye-opening. Addiction(s) whether to drugs or alcohol really take a toll on how children relate to adult relationships and their expectations for their own relationships later in life. I know I want my son to see and experience happy, healthy, fulfulling relationships built on trust, empathy and compassion for others. I don't want him to think a woman should 'stick by her man' and get verbally and emotionally abused day in and day out as I don't want him to face a similar circumstance in his future because of my actions. How do you want your son to relate to relationships?
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 283
I've been there too and I have a daughter. When I asked myself if that was the example that my daughter grew up with about how men should treat women, it made me sick to my stomach.
I also heard the arguement that at least he did his drinking at home and didn't go out. When I pressed it, he began going out, or to the garage, or to the pool, and eventually back to the bar. He would tell me that he wanted a club sandwich, and the corner bar made the best ones.
Eventually it got really bad for me. I stayed at hotels when he was drunk. I took our kids (his son and my daughter) on mini-vacations to protect them from the craziness. I took them to the YMCA and stayed until close many nights, just praying that maybe he would be passed out when I got home. It was no life. It definately wasn't the family that I longed for. We had pictures made for Christmas cards last year and when I look at them all I can think is "What a lie that is". I longed to be a normal family, a man, woman, boy, and girl. When I moved to be with him that is what was promised. Truth is that I didn't really make friends or invite people over because I didn't want people to see what reality was. I pretended to be those Christmas Card People. Sorry to ramble on about me.
And if his wife could speak from the grave, you might be suprised to find that its highly likely that she had the same problems with the relationship and concerns about the drinking that you do. She is just his excuse. If he didn't have her for an excuse, it would be something else.
He wants to criticize your $$$ over a $40 pedicure while this is his 2 day beer total? Its time to decide what you want for the rest of your life and come to a reality about whether or not its possible to have that with him.
I also heard the arguement that at least he did his drinking at home and didn't go out. When I pressed it, he began going out, or to the garage, or to the pool, and eventually back to the bar. He would tell me that he wanted a club sandwich, and the corner bar made the best ones.
Eventually it got really bad for me. I stayed at hotels when he was drunk. I took our kids (his son and my daughter) on mini-vacations to protect them from the craziness. I took them to the YMCA and stayed until close many nights, just praying that maybe he would be passed out when I got home. It was no life. It definately wasn't the family that I longed for. We had pictures made for Christmas cards last year and when I look at them all I can think is "What a lie that is". I longed to be a normal family, a man, woman, boy, and girl. When I moved to be with him that is what was promised. Truth is that I didn't really make friends or invite people over because I didn't want people to see what reality was. I pretended to be those Christmas Card People. Sorry to ramble on about me.
And if his wife could speak from the grave, you might be suprised to find that its highly likely that she had the same problems with the relationship and concerns about the drinking that you do. She is just his excuse. If he didn't have her for an excuse, it would be something else.
He wants to criticize your $$$ over a $40 pedicure while this is his 2 day beer total? Its time to decide what you want for the rest of your life and come to a reality about whether or not its possible to have that with him.
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chronsweet: thats how I feel as well. I feel like a slave, roommate, maid etc. I will cook, clean etc you name it, I do it. Cut grass etc. I do it all and he just doesn't do anything....leaves clothes lying around, makes a mess in the kitchen. my own SON doesn't act this way.
I could go on & on, and reading stories on here it's like I am reading about myself! it's so weird.
BUT he blames me!
He knows I am going to cook, clean, pay bills etc. because that's the kind of person I am! but to tell me HE can do better, and that I am just whiny and needy???
and as far as the pictures go in the bedroom, it is creepy! I cannot stand seeing them EVERYDAY!!! I don't know how to approach that subject with him again!
I am never right about anything, and as far as asking him about drinking/alcoholism like last night, he just bites my head off, and points out something about me, and I end up upset & crying! He tells me he CAN quit, he just doesn't want to yet!
I could go on & on, and reading stories on here it's like I am reading about myself! it's so weird.
BUT he blames me!
He knows I am going to cook, clean, pay bills etc. because that's the kind of person I am! but to tell me HE can do better, and that I am just whiny and needy???
and as far as the pictures go in the bedroom, it is creepy! I cannot stand seeing them EVERYDAY!!! I don't know how to approach that subject with him again!
I am never right about anything, and as far as asking him about drinking/alcoholism like last night, he just bites my head off, and points out something about me, and I end up upset & crying! He tells me he CAN quit, he just doesn't want to yet!
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there is NOT enough time to describe, and repeat the things he says to me etc. it's just unbelievable, I have had my limit of it, to the point I google alcoholism today. Telling myself it can't be me. Am I that bad? I have not heard a word from him ALL day! it's killing me slowly. I have questioned myself so much.
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Originally Posted by needopinions 
2 years ago, we decided to move in together. Moved into his place. and since it's been hell.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 451
LOL, I don't mean to laugh at you. I am laughing because my bf says the same exact thing. He CAN quit, he just doesn't want to. I am fine with that statement now, because at least I know the truth. He'd rather drink. He will continue to drink and anything I do won't change the course he is on. I do the majority of the household chores but I just figure now that I can't not have them done, because I hate a dirty house. I do them and don't expect something from him that he isn't willing to do. I am bitter about doing them most of the time, but I just keep it all in perspective. I will be leaving him as soon as I am ready financially. I need him to help pay child care for now. It is too expensive for me to do on my own. I am getting my accounting degree, eating healthy and losing weight (YEAH!), and working on getting back to being healthy. I have read that women in alcoholic relationships often become overweight due to the great stress they are under, they find comfort in food. I honestly have never been overweight in my life, but I found myself in this state after being with ABF for years. I am finally, FINALLY, correcting the problem. He often remarks on my weight too, calling me fat, insulting me because of it and just trying to make me feel crappy about myself. I smile because I know I am beautiful and so does he.
I understand that he makes it feel like it is all you. They do that to keep you off balance and under their control. Ignore those statements. It isn't you. Now, when my ABF tells me I am the cause of his drinking, I remind him he was drunk the day I met him. He usually laughs and concedes very quickly and doesn't bring the subject up again.
My advice, keep reading. You will see so many similarities with others through stories. In some situations, I could almost just replace my name with someone else, same story, same song and dance. It really helps because I felt so alone for so long. I had a healthy relationship before and things didn't work out, too long of a story to go into. Point is, I forgot what it was like to be cherished and honored. I forgot what it was like to actually be able to have a conversation where my needs and thoughts and quirks were understood. I forgot what it was like to actually LAUGH with someone, to tell stories and dream about the future. I remember now, and I will not let my ABF drag me down to his level. He can sink with his own ship, but this woman is getting out alive!
You will be okay if you can learn about this disease and make corrections about yourself and realize you are worthy of a loving relationship. There are reasons why we expect so little for ourselves while caring more about others than our own lives. I read Codependency No More, and a few other books that were pretty good. If you have the ability to self-evaluate yourself and the reasons why you are still in this relationship, you too, will make it out alive.
Side Note: Back when I was in my early 20's I used to watch Jerry Springer, Maury Povich, etc. Remember those shows!!! I would see women in certain situations and be in awe of why in the hell they were still in those kinds of relationships. I would say to friends and myself that they were their own problems to remain. Ironic, here I find myself now. LOL!
I understand that he makes it feel like it is all you. They do that to keep you off balance and under their control. Ignore those statements. It isn't you. Now, when my ABF tells me I am the cause of his drinking, I remind him he was drunk the day I met him. He usually laughs and concedes very quickly and doesn't bring the subject up again.
My advice, keep reading. You will see so many similarities with others through stories. In some situations, I could almost just replace my name with someone else, same story, same song and dance. It really helps because I felt so alone for so long. I had a healthy relationship before and things didn't work out, too long of a story to go into. Point is, I forgot what it was like to be cherished and honored. I forgot what it was like to actually be able to have a conversation where my needs and thoughts and quirks were understood. I forgot what it was like to actually LAUGH with someone, to tell stories and dream about the future. I remember now, and I will not let my ABF drag me down to his level. He can sink with his own ship, but this woman is getting out alive!
You will be okay if you can learn about this disease and make corrections about yourself and realize you are worthy of a loving relationship. There are reasons why we expect so little for ourselves while caring more about others than our own lives. I read Codependency No More, and a few other books that were pretty good. If you have the ability to self-evaluate yourself and the reasons why you are still in this relationship, you too, will make it out alive.
Side Note: Back when I was in my early 20's I used to watch Jerry Springer, Maury Povich, etc. Remember those shows!!! I would see women in certain situations and be in awe of why in the hell they were still in those kinds of relationships. I would say to friends and myself that they were their own problems to remain. Ironic, here I find myself now. LOL!
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CHRONSWEET: exactly...I read things on here, and just lol because I am like OMG....i have been told that, or felt that way!
he has a way of making me feel terrible. and he sees NO wrong with his drinking at all!
and told me I was selfish and disresepctful to want her pictures gone!
and something I notice, we NEVER go anywhere alone. just us. someone ALWAYS has to go, and he always has to have the "biggest beer" they got! it's like nothing is done for just "me" and when I tell him this, he tells me that's selfish of me, because he does allot for me & my son!
he has a way of making me feel terrible. and he sees NO wrong with his drinking at all!
and told me I was selfish and disresepctful to want her pictures gone!
and something I notice, we NEVER go anywhere alone. just us. someone ALWAYS has to go, and he always has to have the "biggest beer" they got! it's like nothing is done for just "me" and when I tell him this, he tells me that's selfish of me, because he does allot for me & my son!
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it's like all I can think about is "what did I do?" and I wish he'd see what he does to me, and how he treats me. I know his mom & dad are not these kind of people. He always makes himself out to be the good one, and he tells me how GREAT he treated his wife etc. Do I not deserve the same if not better?
I just have so many doubts and questions in my mind. I have never been in a situation like this. I just don't even know where to start really. I feel so sorry for him. That's my biggest problem.
I just have so many doubts and questions in my mind. I have never been in a situation like this. I just don't even know where to start really. I feel so sorry for him. That's my biggest problem.
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My biggest problem is I need strength. Like last night, I started telling back to him what I felt, and how I thought he was wrong etc, and I ended up in tears, crying. I couldn't get words out because he started telling me I was crazy, and needed to go get some help, and some crazy pills. I hear this at least once a week..
It makes me feel so wrong.
It makes me feel so wrong.
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
I remember those confusing feelings. Do you know what saved me? I quit talking to him about stuff. I quit explaining or hoping to be understood. I looked for validation in other ways. Here at SR mostly but also a counselor that specialized in addictions, al anon, the stickies at the top, and the book Co Dependent No More
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
(((Needopinions)))),
I read through everything and got to this part... And started crying. I've had *that* conversation. I think we've all had *that* conversation. Heard those same words (We're crazy!) and felt the same thing... crazy, frustrated, and emotionally drained. I remember thinking - "Is it really me? I mean, I don't think it is, but geez, maybe I am being too uptight. Maybe I am too demanding." And from there, the thoughts spin completely out of control straight into... "If it is my fault, then I should be able to fix this and make it work."
Well, stop right there... because what I have come to understand is... it's not my fault. It's alcoholism. I can't fix this and make my relationship all better. I can work on me to get the strength I need to extricate myself and my children from this unhealthy situation.
I haven't seen it suggested yet - so I'll do so... you may want to look into an Al-anon meeting in your area. Al-anon is the "friends & family of alcoholic loved ones" verson of Alcoholics Anonymous (12-step recovery program for alcoholics). By going to Al-anon, I have learned all sorts of information on alcoholism, tools for living with/loving an alcoholic, and worked a program to recovery ME from the effects of alcoholism and found real-life support to help me.
Thanks for listening!
Shannon
I read through everything and got to this part...
Like last night, I started telling back to him what I felt, and how I thought he was wrong etc, and I ended up in tears, crying. I couldn't get words out because he started telling me I was crazy, and needed to go get some help, and some crazy pills. I hear this at least once a week..
Well, stop right there... because what I have come to understand is... it's not my fault. It's alcoholism. I can't fix this and make my relationship all better. I can work on me to get the strength I need to extricate myself and my children from this unhealthy situation.
I haven't seen it suggested yet - so I'll do so... you may want to look into an Al-anon meeting in your area. Al-anon is the "friends & family of alcoholic loved ones" verson of Alcoholics Anonymous (12-step recovery program for alcoholics). By going to Al-anon, I have learned all sorts of information on alcoholism, tools for living with/loving an alcoholic, and worked a program to recovery ME from the effects of alcoholism and found real-life support to help me.
Thanks for listening!
Shannon
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Brisbane, QLD, Australia
Posts: 5
Originally Posted by needopinions
I have never been in a situation like this. I just don't even know where to start really. I feel so sorry for him. That's my biggest problem.
You would think I would have learned something from that but I was also a practicing alcoholic who believed she was garbage and really did deserve to be treated badly. My second husband choice was miles worse then my first. He controlled everything about my life and blamed me for anything that went wrong. He would tell me what he wanted and I would faithfully do that and then he would explode at me for doing it. As fast as I figured out the "rules" he would change them. I watched my daughter suffering and still could not get out safely.
One of my fears was that if I left him I would end up with someone even worse because I was basically no good and would never have a decent man in my life. I kept hoping that if I just loved this one "enough" then I would heal his pain and he would love me. I learned later that that would never happen. Once again I ran in fear of my life and then had to stand up for myself because he came after me.
The only good thing was that I ended up in AA to deal with my own issues. With their help and support plus Alanon I began to change the way I felt out myself. As the dignity and self-respect crept back in, I came to believe that I did indeed deserve someone decent in my life and that I was no longer willing to settle for less then that.
You are worth more then he tells you. You are not the one to blame and you have done nothing wrong. You cannot afford to believe his valuation of who you are. His problems are his problems and only he can make the choice to deal with them. You cannot do it for him. But only you can decide when enough is enough for both yourself and your child.
My thoughts are with you.
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
Oh, boy, do I remember going through this. Honestly, when I read your words it brought this sick feeling back that I haven't felt in quite a while. I HATE that feeling; it's kind of like I'm going to throw up, but worse. I remember crying and begging and pleading to be treated better. I remember trying to figure out WHY?!?! Why does he treat me like $hit??? More crying. Asking EVERYone, why? Asking HIM why? Telling him EVERYthing I felt, listing all the things I did for him, telling him OVER and OVER how his behavior and his words hurt me to the point where I wanted to die! Horrible. I look at me, and my relationship now, some 15 or so years later, and wow! what a difference! I can't believe I ever stayed with such an a$$, with someone who treated me that way!
My advice? Get as far away from that guy as you can. He is NOT going to change and there are so many GREAT guys out there who will treat you with love and respect. (((hugs))) Leap and the net will appear.
My advice? Get as far away from that guy as you can. He is NOT going to change and there are so many GREAT guys out there who will treat you with love and respect. (((hugs))) Leap and the net will appear.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: europe
Posts: 624
Needopinions, here are some threads you might like to read
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ening-you.html
and my personal favorite:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...cters-1-a.html
HUGS
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ening-you.html
and my personal favorite:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...cters-1-a.html
HUGS
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