What is relapse, and why is it OK?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Rocky Mountains, USA
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What is relapse, and why is it OK?
Couple of questions from a n00b: What is meant by relapse? Does that mean abandoning your plan to quit drinking, or just having a drink, or reverting to a drunken lifestyle or what?
What happens when you drink after a period of sobriety?
Is relapse an expected thing, like it is OK for that to happen?
Would love to hear your thoughts about this. Thank you.
What happens when you drink after a period of sobriety?
Is relapse an expected thing, like it is OK for that to happen?
Would love to hear your thoughts about this. Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Missouri
Posts: 133
Relapse is something that is very common. I don't think to look at it as OK is the right approach, but if it does indeed happen it's important to not give up and try again. To accept it as being OK in my mind makes it more likely to happen.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Hi, Samantha.
Well, I've actually seen people debate the term relapse. Some argue that it's just drinking—not a relapse, per se—unless it follows months or years of sobriety. Their point is that if you drink after a matter of days, you never really put the "disease" into remission. (That word sets off another round of arguments.)
Personally, I avoid the semantical debates. It feels like tail-chasing to me; round and round we go, getting nowhere fast.
Alcoholism ruins relationships, destroys careers, kills hopes, decimates reputations, and then it finally takes your life. So no, relapse is not OK. It's understandable, but it's never OK. I think sooner or later, every alcoholic tries to quit. Which means everyone who dies of alcoholism, at some point in the past, relapsed.
Well, I've actually seen people debate the term relapse. Some argue that it's just drinking—not a relapse, per se—unless it follows months or years of sobriety. Their point is that if you drink after a matter of days, you never really put the "disease" into remission. (That word sets off another round of arguments.)
Personally, I avoid the semantical debates. It feels like tail-chasing to me; round and round we go, getting nowhere fast.
Alcoholism ruins relationships, destroys careers, kills hopes, decimates reputations, and then it finally takes your life. So no, relapse is not OK. It's understandable, but it's never OK. I think sooner or later, every alcoholic tries to quit. Which means everyone who dies of alcoholism, at some point in the past, relapsed.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
I consider a relapse to be any deviation from sobriety. Some folks differentiate between a slip--which might be just a single drink--and a relapse--full blown return to drinking. It's a matter of degree. I prefer to view them the same way. And in my opinion they aren't okay. Considering a relapse a part of recovery is license to drink again. Relapses are part of addiction, not recovery.
And there is also a danger to relapsing. I posted the following in a thread yesterday and think it bears repeating because there seems to be a degree of careless disregard to relapse by some. Here is what I posted:
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You should know that the more you relapse the worse the withdrawals can become. It is called the kindling effect. This from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism:
"In many alcoholics, the severity of withdrawal symptoms increases after repeated withdrawal episodes. This exacerbation may be attributable to a kindling process. Kindling is a phenomenon in which a weak electrical or chemical stimulus, which initially causes no overt behavioral responses, results in the appearance of behavioral effects, such as seizures, when it is administered repeatedly. Both clinical and experimental evidence support the existence of a kindling mechanism during alcohol withdrawal. Withdrawal symptoms, such as seizures, result from neurochemical imbalances in the brain of alcoholics who suddenly reduce or cease alcohol consumption. These imbalances may be exacerbated after repeated withdrawal experiences. The existence of kindling during withdrawal suggests that even patients experiencing mild withdrawal should be treated aggressively to prevent the increase in severity of subsequent withdrawal episodes. Kindling also may contribute to a patient’s relapse risk and to alcohol-related brain damage and cognitive impairment."
Lot of science jargon, but it summarizes the danger. Relapses are NOT part of recovery. They are part of the addiction. They occur, but I hope you and anyone reading who is struggling with relapse will consider the risks and ramp up your recovery accordingly.
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Google Kindling and alcoholic withdrawals for more information.
And there is also a danger to relapsing. I posted the following in a thread yesterday and think it bears repeating because there seems to be a degree of careless disregard to relapse by some. Here is what I posted:
-----------------------------
You should know that the more you relapse the worse the withdrawals can become. It is called the kindling effect. This from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism:
"In many alcoholics, the severity of withdrawal symptoms increases after repeated withdrawal episodes. This exacerbation may be attributable to a kindling process. Kindling is a phenomenon in which a weak electrical or chemical stimulus, which initially causes no overt behavioral responses, results in the appearance of behavioral effects, such as seizures, when it is administered repeatedly. Both clinical and experimental evidence support the existence of a kindling mechanism during alcohol withdrawal. Withdrawal symptoms, such as seizures, result from neurochemical imbalances in the brain of alcoholics who suddenly reduce or cease alcohol consumption. These imbalances may be exacerbated after repeated withdrawal experiences. The existence of kindling during withdrawal suggests that even patients experiencing mild withdrawal should be treated aggressively to prevent the increase in severity of subsequent withdrawal episodes. Kindling also may contribute to a patient’s relapse risk and to alcohol-related brain damage and cognitive impairment."
Lot of science jargon, but it summarizes the danger. Relapses are NOT part of recovery. They are part of the addiction. They occur, but I hope you and anyone reading who is struggling with relapse will consider the risks and ramp up your recovery accordingly.
---------------------------
Google Kindling and alcoholic withdrawals for more information.
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I think any time that you have a drink of alcohol, it's a relapse. And, I disagree that relapse is part of the process of recovery. I know we can learn from relapses by understanding what happened and preventing from recurring, but it doesn't need to be an expected part of recovery.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Washington
Posts: 456
Relapse is not a part of recovery. Recovery is abstinence and growth (imho).
I've been on this board for a while and have seen many who talk about relapse after a day, two days, a week, etc. This isn't relapse, in my opinion. This would be pre-recovery, or contemplation.
You ask if it's ok? Well, in my opinion, taking the steps toward recovery is always ok! That's why we say, if you don't make it the first time, try again. Look at what happened, make a change, and take another run. Repeat as necessary.
In early sobriety it is so important to get from pre-recovery (where you know you need to stop) to recovery (where you have true abstinence). Everyone's threshhold is going to be different since alll of our addictions were different.
I personally could never get more than 24 hours under my belt so I checked in to in-patient treatment (I failed IOP every time). That gave me a good stretch of sober time to work from. I was a daily maintenance drinking so even though insurance would only pay for 11 days, it was just enough to get me into (abstinent) recovery.
Here's the definition of Relapse:
relapse
vb [rɪˈlęps] (intr)
1. to lapse back into a former state or condition, esp one involving bad habits
2. (Medicine) to become ill again after apparent recovery
Compare that to the definition of recovery:
recovery [rɪˈkʌvərɪ]
n pl -eries
1. the act or process of recovering, esp from sickness, a shock, or a setback; recuperation
2. restoration to a former or better condition3. the regaining of something lost
This is my two cents.
Whether you agree or not, you should never quit trying.
I've been on this board for a while and have seen many who talk about relapse after a day, two days, a week, etc. This isn't relapse, in my opinion. This would be pre-recovery, or contemplation.
You ask if it's ok? Well, in my opinion, taking the steps toward recovery is always ok! That's why we say, if you don't make it the first time, try again. Look at what happened, make a change, and take another run. Repeat as necessary.
In early sobriety it is so important to get from pre-recovery (where you know you need to stop) to recovery (where you have true abstinence). Everyone's threshhold is going to be different since alll of our addictions were different.
I personally could never get more than 24 hours under my belt so I checked in to in-patient treatment (I failed IOP every time). That gave me a good stretch of sober time to work from. I was a daily maintenance drinking so even though insurance would only pay for 11 days, it was just enough to get me into (abstinent) recovery.
Here's the definition of Relapse:
relapse
vb [rɪˈlęps] (intr)
1. to lapse back into a former state or condition, esp one involving bad habits
2. (Medicine) to become ill again after apparent recovery
Compare that to the definition of recovery:
recovery [rɪˈkʌvərɪ]
n pl -eries
1. the act or process of recovering, esp from sickness, a shock, or a setback; recuperation
2. restoration to a former or better condition3. the regaining of something lost
This is my two cents.
Whether you agree or not, you should never quit trying.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
All the years of my drinking I never relapsed because I hadn't consciously quit. I stopped for a week or a month but always went back. I didn't know the difference between the words prolapse or relapse. And in pre-dinosaur ages they didn't have fancy schmancy words for schtuff like that.
Now for me personally, after being sober for 10 months, going to rehab, going to AA and actually have a plan to stay stopped YES...if I ever touched another drop of liquor it would be considered a relapse in every sense of the word. I know better now. I have been following a path that does not include a relapse stop along the way. Any relapse would be an utter complete downfall and huge dissappointment for me. And boy, would you guys hear about it if that was too happen. LOL
I think if you've been drinking and stop for a few days and resume...it is not a relapse.
That is continued drinking. It wasn't your time to quit and you need to change your plan or try again.
Relapse should not be a complacent stop in the path of recovery. It is considered a learning and growing experience. I think relapse has alot to do with what mindset you are in when you are quitting.
Now for me personally, after being sober for 10 months, going to rehab, going to AA and actually have a plan to stay stopped YES...if I ever touched another drop of liquor it would be considered a relapse in every sense of the word. I know better now. I have been following a path that does not include a relapse stop along the way. Any relapse would be an utter complete downfall and huge dissappointment for me. And boy, would you guys hear about it if that was too happen. LOL
I think if you've been drinking and stop for a few days and resume...it is not a relapse.
That is continued drinking. It wasn't your time to quit and you need to change your plan or try again.
Relapse should not be a complacent stop in the path of recovery. It is considered a learning and growing experience. I think relapse has alot to do with what mindset you are in when you are quitting.
Today is a Gift
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Salt Lake City
Posts: 328
Abstenence is a requirement for an alcoholic, we can't can't control our drinking once we start so the first drink is one to many. To me that means any drink is a relapse. As far as any debate about it not being a relapse if it is your first try and you only lasted a couple days? I still call that relapse. If I honestly try to stop by whatever method and pick up then I have relapsed.
It's not an expected thing but it happens, as stated, relapse is not recovery.
You ask if it's ok.....the people that love me the most are hurt the most when I drink so for them it is not ok. Ask your loved ones what they think.
Summing up my personal experience with relapse. It's never ok, but it is also not the drama some people make it out to be. It can happen but it is not the end of the world.
It's not an expected thing but it happens, as stated, relapse is not recovery.
You ask if it's ok.....the people that love me the most are hurt the most when I drink so for them it is not ok. Ask your loved ones what they think.
Summing up my personal experience with relapse. It's never ok, but it is also not the drama some people make it out to be. It can happen but it is not the end of the world.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 806
Relapse means picking up your drug of choice.
Recovery is a life long commitment....thinking you can safely drink again is the first sign that you maybe on your way to relapse. Relapse for me was never an option.
Recovery is a life long commitment....thinking you can safely drink again is the first sign that you maybe on your way to relapse. Relapse for me was never an option.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 484
Relapses aren't okay. But they usually are just part of the process. Most psychologists would probably agree with this.
(And I'm not talking about the amateur psychologists you see around here and at AA, and Al-Anon in particular. HAHA.)
(And I'm not talking about the amateur psychologists you see around here and at AA, and Al-Anon in particular. HAHA.)
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by Squizz 
Relapses aren't okay. But they usually are just part of the process.
A relapse does not make it more likely that i will stay sober next time around. A relapse makes it less likely.
The only good that come from a relapse, is knowing that what I'm doing isn't working for me. Then, maybe, a relapse can spur me into doing something different.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Yeah, relapsing (alcoholic drinking) is NOT any part or stage of the recovery process. Alcoholic drinking is ONLY part of the addiction process inherent in alcoholism illness.
Its not okay to relapse. Like others are saying, and I agree, its understandable and forgivable, very fogivable, but its *never okay* to go back to drinking. It is well know that alcoholics have lost their lives from just taking that next drink in that next relapse. Others sometimes stay out for many more times of suffering. Even innocents have be known to pay the ultimate costs when alcoholics have just another relapse - such as drunk driving, etc.
Proven recovery resources exist to absolutely prevent alcoholic relapses. Even so though, sadly, alcoholism is a fatal illness, and so there will always be days that alcoholics WILL relapse regardless of what is available to help maintain their sobriety if they are not living in the solution of sobriety.
Its not okay to relapse. Like others are saying, and I agree, its understandable and forgivable, very fogivable, but its *never okay* to go back to drinking. It is well know that alcoholics have lost their lives from just taking that next drink in that next relapse. Others sometimes stay out for many more times of suffering. Even innocents have be known to pay the ultimate costs when alcoholics have just another relapse - such as drunk driving, etc.
Proven recovery resources exist to absolutely prevent alcoholic relapses. Even so though, sadly, alcoholism is a fatal illness, and so there will always be days that alcoholics WILL relapse regardless of what is available to help maintain their sobriety if they are not living in the solution of sobriety.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto ON
Posts: 1,180
I would say that a relapse is simply you deciding that you'd like to go back to consuming alcohol and then following through on that decision.
Whether it is okay or not is entirely up to you.
I would suggest that if your goal is to never drink alcohol again in this lifetime then you might look at drinking as a setback in achieving your objective.
I think it's important that you accept responsibility for your actions and not blame your "disease" or "condition" or "illness" for the choices you make.
Whether it is okay or not is entirely up to you.
I would suggest that if your goal is to never drink alcohol again in this lifetime then you might look at drinking as a setback in achieving your objective.
I think it's important that you accept responsibility for your actions and not blame your "disease" or "condition" or "illness" for the choices you make.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 484
Originally Posted by keithj
Part of the process of staying drunk maybe.
"Next, fifth, Sellman explains that addiction is characterized by frequent relapse, and that one should not expect to overcome addiction on the first try."
But let me guess? You know better than HIM right?
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 484
Furthermore, that's not to say that overcoming addiction is not entirely POSSIBLE on your first attempt. Sure it is.
It just isn't likely.
So what I'm saying is this: If you don't get it on your first shot, don't beat yourself up over it.
It just isn't likely.
So what I'm saying is this: If you don't get it on your first shot, don't beat yourself up over it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Somebody else posted a similar thread recently asking if we were sending the wrong impression with so many posts about relapse. I think the point of the thread was, maybe we should be focusing on a solution instead of a big group hug, don't worry, everybody relapses, kind of thing.
The fact is, not everybody relapses. There are may people on this site with lasting sobriety. The other fact is, not everyone makes it back after a relapse. We act like it's a harmless indiscretion, but it has been deadly for many. Think about it, the only relapses we ever hear about on SR are from those that show back up the next day or a few months later. We don't hear from the hundreds that don't show back up. I've watched a bunch of people out there in the world only get one shot at this deal. Their last relapse was their last dying run at this deal.
What if, just maybe, this moment right here and now were your one and only shot at sobriety and changing your life?
The fact is, not everybody relapses. There are may people on this site with lasting sobriety. The other fact is, not everyone makes it back after a relapse. We act like it's a harmless indiscretion, but it has been deadly for many. Think about it, the only relapses we ever hear about on SR are from those that show back up the next day or a few months later. We don't hear from the hundreds that don't show back up. I've watched a bunch of people out there in the world only get one shot at this deal. Their last relapse was their last dying run at this deal.
What if, just maybe, this moment right here and now were your one and only shot at sobriety and changing your life?
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by Squizz
Doug Sellman at the National Addiction Center disagrees with you:
"Next, fifth, Sellman explains that addiction is characterized by frequent relapse, and that one should not expect to overcome addiction on the first try."
But let me guess? You know better than HIM right?
"Next, fifth, Sellman explains that addiction is characterized by frequent relapse, and that one should not expect to overcome addiction on the first try."
But let me guess? You know better than HIM right?
Yeah, part of the addiction, or as keithj says, and I agree, "part of the process of staying drunk".
Recovery is not part of the addiction process, relapsing is common in addiction, it dosen't happen in recovered persons.
I'm recovered. I've never relapsed since my last drunk back in '81.
Before recovery, before '81, I tried to stop drinking for years, and of course I just kept drinking. All I was doing was taking breaks in between drinks.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
Relapse is a great indicator that the alcoholic has not yet found a sufficient solution for their condition, or that they stopped maintaining what earlier had worked for them.
With a sufficient solution that is well and continually maintained we don't have to make ourselves sicker.
With a sufficient solution that is well and continually maintained we don't have to make ourselves sicker.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by Tippingpoint
I would say that a relapse is simply you deciding that you'd like to go back to consuming alcohol and then following through on that decision.
Whether it is okay or not is entirely up to you.
I would suggest that if your goal is to never drink alcohol again in this lifetime then you might look at drinking as a setback in achieving your objective.
I think it's important that you accept responsibility for your actions and not blame your "disease" or "condition" or "illness" for the choices you make.
Whether it is okay or not is entirely up to you.
I would suggest that if your goal is to never drink alcohol again in this lifetime then you might look at drinking as a setback in achieving your objective.
I think it's important that you accept responsibility for your actions and not blame your "disease" or "condition" or "illness" for the choices you make.
I also think its important not to blame an illness for choices an alcoholic makes. Like I said, alcoholism takes the power of choice away. Of course not everybody believes, or understands, the reality of alcoholism being an illness.
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