For Laughs - Funny Sayings for Unfunny Times
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 741
For Laughs - Funny Sayings for Unfunny Times
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good either.
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
Accept that somedays you're the pigeon, and somedays you're the statue.
Needing someone is like needing a parachute.
If he isn't there the first time you need him,
chances are you won't be needing him again.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
My reality check bounced.
Everybody is somebody else's wierdo.
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
We occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of us pick ourselves up and hurry on as if nothing happened.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day;
teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.
And my personal favorite...
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
Accept that somedays you're the pigeon, and somedays you're the statue.
Needing someone is like needing a parachute.
If he isn't there the first time you need him,
chances are you won't be needing him again.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
My reality check bounced.
Everybody is somebody else's wierdo.
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
We occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of us pick ourselves up and hurry on as if nothing happened.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day;
teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.
And my personal favorite...
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,913
*snerk* Thanks for the laugh, PurpleSquirrel, here are a few:
Yet despite the look on my face, you're still talking.
I hate when people see me at the super market and they are like:
"hey what you doing here?" and I'm just like:
"Oh you know, hunting elephants."
Zombies eat brains... you're safe.
When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command.
Very often, that individual is crazy.
Here's another one to follow CatsPajamas' quote:
I don't care what you think about me. I don't think about you at all. - Coco Chanel
Yet despite the look on my face, you're still talking.
I hate when people see me at the super market and they are like:
"hey what you doing here?" and I'm just like:
"Oh you know, hunting elephants."
Zombies eat brains... you're safe.
When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command.
Very often, that individual is crazy.
Here's another one to follow CatsPajamas' quote:
I don't care what you think about me. I don't think about you at all. - Coco Chanel
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