northend79

Hi

I am somewhat new here...but am 9 days sober and feeling good about things this time around. I am a binge drinker, and have finally accepted that moderate drinking will never happen for me. plain and simple.

I am heartbroken right now over a friendship that ended due to my latest relapse. Basically, I acted like enough of an ass one night that I was drunk that a friend has announced they no longer want me in their home ever again.

I understand.

I would like to hear of any situations where a friendship or relationship has been repaired after sobriety has been acheived. I'm not expecting to mend this friendship, but it was important to me, and I would like to think that maybe some day it could be repaired.

Anna

I'm glad you're back!

And, it's good that you accept what your friend told you and respect her wishes.

This is what I found - I lost a few fairly close women friends because I increasingly isolate myself to the point that I was rude to them and they stopped calling. After I was sober, I did speak with these women, but I realized that I didn't want to spend time with them anymore. It wasn't because they were drinkers, not at all. But, they were steeped in negativity, and that was what had drawn us together.

Focus on your sobriety and your friendship will mend if it's meant to.

doggonecarl

Your friend set some strong bounderies. Respect them. Resenting yourself for the things you did drunk is a recovery killer. The best thing you can do, for you and all your remaining relationships, is get and remain sober.

If I was in your position, once I was secure in my recovery, I might send a letter to such a friend and thank them for opening my eyes to my problem. I'd report on my new found sobriety and tell them of the joys I've discovered. That might not bring your friendship back, but if this person was a friend I'm sure they would be happy to see your life has improved.

Good luck.

Itchy

I would not put so much stock in that relationship until you have been sober a good long time, maybe a year or more. Not because of any time limit on stressful things or relationship issues but simply because you will attract a completely different kind of friend circle strong and sober.

Forgive but never forget, yourself. If you are sober and strong you will be there for that friend if they ever decide to join you in sobriety or at least non-drinking activities. You can help them then. In the meantime they need their space and you need to focus on repairing yourself not others right now.

Why?

So you will be there when your closest people need you.