So proud!!
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,258
So proud!!
Today is day 10 off of pills!! Today was the first payday, then I got ticket for a reimbursement. I thought deeply about going to get a px, then lie to my hubby about how much I got!! Instead of doing that I came straight home and told my so!! Felt good to nit give in.
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: 31 Planes of Existence
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THANKS!
Your success is helping me right now too. Today is day# 2 for me. I'm OK right now...in this moment. I'm glad to hear that you tried a different path of actions. I know for me, if I allow & "listen" to the subtle thoughts in the background...you know the one's that coax us ever so gently into really believing that "I can handle it", "One more time", "Every things OK"...all will be lost.
Your experience has helped another out today, all the way on the other side of the world. For that I'm grateful.
In Metta,
AOS
Your success is helping me right now too. Today is day# 2 for me. I'm OK right now...in this moment. I'm glad to hear that you tried a different path of actions. I know for me, if I allow & "listen" to the subtle thoughts in the background...you know the one's that coax us ever so gently into really believing that "I can handle it", "One more time", "Every things OK"...all will be lost.
Your experience has helped another out today, all the way on the other side of the world. For that I'm grateful.
In Metta,
AOS
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: South Milwaukee, WI.
Posts: 53
YEAH u should be soo PROUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Great job, see if we don`t listen to our negetive thoughts and try something different we can do it and i`m so glad u did it, be proud and go and buy urself something little to reward urself(even if its a candy bar) ha ha
U helped me today!!!!! I am so thankful for everyone, together we can beat this..........
Great job, see if we don`t listen to our negetive thoughts and try something different we can do it and i`m so glad u did it, be proud and go and buy urself something little to reward urself(even if its a candy bar) ha ha
U helped me today!!!!! I am so thankful for everyone, together we can beat this..........
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Thank you for the kind words and glad I helped!! I have a little more time to write now, tomorrow makes day 12 of no pills. It was really nice to hear a parent (I am a teacher) tell me how refreshed I look!! Since I started this year all I have heard is how tired I look, and too think of it I have been hearing that for years. I feel ok, but I know as the days continue of sobriety I will feel better and better. My overall well being feels better, but the headaches, anxiety, uneasiness comes and goes throughout the day. I was shocked at how intensive my aches/pains/headaches got yesterday afternoon when I got paid. It was like the devil was back telling me in full force, "come on go get your px, you can manage them this time and ease yourself of this pain" it took all I had to walk home, walk in the door and hand every single dime to my husband
I was still sad a few times throughout the day today that I don't have any control over my finances!! But it is what has to be done. I can't trust myself with money, and relinquishing rights was the best thing I could've done. I have a 11 month old baby, and even know I consider myself functional, I will continue popping every dollar away!!! That life can be no more!!! I don't want her seeing or going through what I witnessed.
I am very proud its been 12 days, it's unreal how when your high time flies, when your not it can seem it nearly stops. Now my mind has to find new healthy ways to expend energy. Of course my daughter is first, but when you have been an addict for so long I have to fine new ways to occupy. I have started Zumba dance and doing a puzzle!! The winters are long in China, so keeping busy is key. I really do love laughing again!! It's so sad how being coated with drugs takes away something so simple as my laugh. I love to laugh!!! Love you all!! My fellow addicts stay strong!!
I was still sad a few times throughout the day today that I don't have any control over my finances!! But it is what has to be done. I can't trust myself with money, and relinquishing rights was the best thing I could've done. I have a 11 month old baby, and even know I consider myself functional, I will continue popping every dollar away!!! That life can be no more!!! I don't want her seeing or going through what I witnessed. I am very proud its been 12 days, it's unreal how when your high time flies, when your not it can seem it nearly stops. Now my mind has to find new healthy ways to expend energy. Of course my daughter is first, but when you have been an addict for so long I have to fine new ways to occupy. I have started Zumba dance and doing a puzzle!! The winters are long in China, so keeping busy is key. I really do love laughing again!! It's so sad how being coated with drugs takes away something so simple as my laugh. I love to laugh!!! Love you all!! My fellow addicts stay strong!!
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Glad I am helping someone. It is the morning time of my day 14. Two weeks ago today during my lunchtime is when I took my last pills. I wish I could say I feel good now but I don't. While I am very grateful to wake up each morning feeling good, I am over the headaches, sleepless nights, crazy drug nightmares. It seems the moment I tell my fiancé my headaches are gone god gives them right back to me. Which is probably for the best since me feeling 100% after 2 weeks is not common. Thankfully my so has been ok throughout these two weeks. I really am the one that needs all the changes, but him making me feel every ounce of hurt I caused isn't right either. I think he is starting to get that. I am just so glad I don't have the desire to use and 90% of the time I would rather have my sober self. Now the aches and pains that keep saying hello, will have to just go away on their own!!
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This breaks my heart to read this thread. I am on day 3 again. Daughter is not almost 3 and not 11 months. I am single now, and still using. Well now 3 days clean cold turkey off pills. Trying a different route this time, going to meetings and going to work the steps. Please god, I surrender.
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Don't focus too much on the past, finaltime. You can't do anything about it now.
I am grateful that AA has worked for me. I was beyond saving. So broken that I almost couldn't get into rehab because I was a health liability.
But I went to meetings every day in the beginning. I got a sponsor. I'm working the steps, and now my life today is amazing.
Things can be different this time for you if you put in the work. I have faith in you.
I am grateful that AA has worked for me. I was beyond saving. So broken that I almost couldn't get into rehab because I was a health liability.
But I went to meetings every day in the beginning. I got a sponsor. I'm working the steps, and now my life today is amazing.
Things can be different this time for you if you put in the work. I have faith in you.
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digdug, thanks. I went to two meetings yesterday and two meetings today. The meetings today where exactly what I needed. I exchanged numbers with others, and reached out as much as I could. I was struggling sitting alone at my apartment so went to starbucks near the AA/NA hall. A man just walked up and asked to sit down. He is also in the program. It was like GOD was right there with me. I will keep going and already planned meetings for when I go to USA for the holidays. Thanks.
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Final I was first on sr in 2010. I did what you did when I came back this year, read my old posts. Back then I was married with two little girls and pregnant As you know now I'm not married and don't have my kids and the baby I was pregnant with is now 3. But I'm clean. I hope this helps you realize it's time. The story about your daughter asking if you were going to buy wine broke my heart. When my daughter was about the same age she heard her dad talking to someone on the phone about there being no pills and she came upstairs to me and said mommy you're not going to feel better there's no pills. You have no idea how that moment stays with me. I'm really pulling for you. For your sake and your daughters sake.
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Oh decbaby your story just made my heart hurt. And you are definitely right. Definitely right. Is there any chance you will be able to get your kids back? Or see them more? My daughter asking me about the wine (she turns 3 the end of dec) really struck a cord. She knows mommy always buys wine. When she was younger she found my pills stash under my bed (I posted about that a long time ago). My x and I were still together. I remember the exact moment. God I was soooo busted, and I was on the phone with my mom on skype. Here is my daughter, holding the box. Then my x comes out with this look of despair, anger and the works. He had no idea I was using again.
Decbaby, I thank you. Day 6.
Decbaby, I thank you. Day 6.
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better today. Day 6. I had one moment of feeling like detoxing after I went for a quick/fast walk to get something to eat, but it passed. I am eating, no runs, bad cough but hydrating, and even slept until 5am! I find my mind already wanting to jump to the next thing. you know how that is, we have to have something instead of just relaxing, living in the moment etc. This is always how I work, if I am not using I am working out, or shopping compulsively, or looking for a mate. Already this attractive dude it calling me nonstop and wanting to hang out from the rooms. I know this is not smart. He is also looking for a distraction, we are both vulnerable etc.
This is when the steps come in. For just today I will stay clean, not focus on anything else etc.
This is when the steps come in. For just today I will stay clean, not focus on anything else etc.
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