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need help

Old 11-27-2011, 10:39 PM
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need help

i am a middle class suburban mother, i am severely depressed, and I have multiple serious issues in my life that i dont know how to fix. I feel as though I am turning further and further inside, and i drink at least a bottle of wine every night and have been for a long time. i know that my parents, who i see often, and other people have to notice, but no one acknowledges it or offers help. my husband obviously knows but he just occasionally says that i should drink less, or he gives me a dirty look when I pour another glass. I also take painkillers during the day (only 2 or 3) and no one knows. I don't want to ask for help because there is nothing else that makes me feel better or kills my pain. When I am sober, i wish to die.
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Old 11-27-2011, 10:57 PM
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Stories like yours scare the f**k out of me... I am 27 married this year and want to have kids soon. If you read my posts, I have recently come to the conclusion I have issues with alcohol and I am quitting the 1st of the year. Wine is evil... I quit drinking hard alcohol and thought wine would be okay, but it's not... and just to give you some insight... out of 10 of my close friends all 25-30 years old... I think 7 of us are alcoholics!! I think alcoholism has become a socially acceptable disease, close to smoking, but it creates so many more problems! Pain killers are not something familiar to me, but dont they have a similar effect that alcohol does?? I thought I read that somewhere. I just bought some books and and am hoping they help. I found an amazing therapist too. I highly recommend finding someone other than family and friends to talk to, and going from there... I couldnt make progress until I had an outside professional telling me things I really already knew... good luck!
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Old 11-27-2011, 11:43 PM
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Welcome to SR cccyou1022

I know thinking of life without booze is pretty scary but there's hundreds of people here who'll assure you it can be done - you'll find a lot of support here

If you feel especially low when you're sober, have you thought of seeing your Dr or a counsellor - this is not a diagnosis, but it's always possible that you may be depressed or something.

Sometimes these things can only become readily apparent when we quit.

I hope you'll find yourself at home here. We really do understand

D
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Old 11-28-2011, 03:37 AM
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CC- I can relate not understanding how the people closest to you don't seem to recognize your problem. I don't know if you feel like this, but part of me was glad that, particularly my parents, didn't acknowledge it because it would be embarrassing, but the other part just wonders why. Maybe they are just turning the other cheek, giving you a chance to resolve it yourself, or maybe they too don't want to see it for what it is. If everything "seems" ok, most people don't want to assume and cause problems.
One day you just need to decide that you've had enough, and want to change. It's not easy, but so far, for me, so very worth it.
Good luck and keep reading on here.
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Old 11-28-2011, 04:20 AM
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I was convinced that I had so many problems that would never go away or be solved and that booze and drugs were the only way to help ease the pain, I put off getting sober until it damned near killed me.

Quitting drinking and popping pills won't solve the other problems in your life, but using them as a solution to the pain will effectively prevent you from seeking a real solution.

Do you believe you're at a point where you can't stop on your own?

Peace & Love,
Sugah
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Old 11-28-2011, 04:32 AM
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CC, I too am a middle class mom in my 40's with 2 kids, a husband and family close by. I also have a drinking problem. I am on Day 4. I would wake up feeling terrible each morning but just push through so I could get through my day so I could drink in the evening. There were many mornings I would wake up and not clearly remember the night before or have vague recollections of doing or saying very stupid things. I had tried for years to stop or/cut down but no real success. When i would try and stop i would feel awful, worse than a hangover sometimes. So i would say "what's the piont?" and start drinking agian which made me feel even worse.
After waking up the Friday after Thanksgiving with fuzzy memories, I told my husband I had a problem. He was taken aback by the admission. He knew I drank a lot but never said anything becuase I had been very irritable and down and he didn't want to start another fight. I was very good at hiding and making excuses for my drinking. I was also hurt that when I told him he didn't immediately start looking at resources to try and help. He honestly doesn't know what to do. My husband hasn't even offered to pour out the alcohol left in the house! He is trying to come to terms with my admission but becuase I did such a good job hiding all these years he doesn't understand the hold it has on me. All I can do, and you should try this too, is talk to him and be patient. I understand your frustration and hopelessness. I am trying to hold on to the fact that everyone says it will get better and my life will turn around and so can yours.
I am going to call the doc today maybe you should too. Keep in touch.
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Old 11-28-2011, 09:15 AM
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ccyou1022:
Sounds like the drinking is making you even more depressed. Where do you get the pain pills? From a physician? Does he or she know of your drinking? I would say that the first thing is to be honest with your physician or, if you don't have one, get one, hopefully with experience in treating depression and addiction. The second thing I would suggest is that you consider joining some kind of group of recovering persons with addiction problems. I can't say whether you have such a problem. Only you can make that determination. But I think it would help you think things out if you had the support of a group. It need not be an AA group but often such a group is helpful if you find one which is congenial and where you feel comfortable.
I would think that the wine only makes things worse for you. If you need medication let the doctor decide what you should have and how much. Remember however that if you are addicted pills won't cure you. Indeed they may do nothing more than feed that addiction. Make sure you have a doctor who appreciates this. If you do these things then hopefully things will get better for you. And do keep in touch with this website.
You say that when you are sober you wish to die. If you find yourself feeling that way, I hope you share that on this website. It's completely confidential and anonymous. There are folks on this website who can help you out in that situation. Good luck.

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