zorilla

This probably sounds crazy;but today I said in an AA meeting that I think I'm resenting recovery.
Everything's so great in recovery except the fact that it is not a good idea for me to be around the man I am in love with.My sponsor doesn't think it's a good idea for me to be around him,and I've realized that she is probably right.Well this really ******* sucks!!!I want both of course;him and recovery!!!

Anna

I'm not sure I understand - does your husband encourage you to drink?

zorilla

Well he's not my husband.He's an on and off boyfriend I've had for several yrs.
He is very happy that I'm sober and clean.He is sober too,but takes more than his prescribed dose of ultram.We have been high,drunk,or both,90% of the times we've been together.

Dee74

Hi Zorilla

I had to make some big calls about people I cared a lot about too.
I wish you the strength to make the decision that's the right one for you

D

zorilla

Thanks Dee...I just hate feeling this way...I was sooo angry last night that I was saying"F*** recovery!!!"
I guess I just feel that everyone is against me,like they think this guy caused all my problems.I don't want to feel this bitchy.....

1undone

I get like that too. I feel angry a lot that I can't drink and can't be around certain people. I try not to sit on the potty pot but I find myself there a lot these days. I also get angry with people that seem so happy in their sobriety because I want that and it's been since May that I've been at this and I just can't get consistent. Oh well, not sure if I'm making sense but I get your frustration.