noozgroop

I am in the first weeks of recovery and have a first date with someone tomorrow at a sports bar. I drank hard stuff -- whiskey and vodka -- before, and although I like a cold beer, I never drank it to the point of inebriation because I couldn't drink more than a few without feeling "full" and the alcohol content was comparatively low.

Knowing this, is it safe to order a non-alcoholic beer when I am out? It seems that most of the threads on anti-non-alcoholic beers concern those who used to get drunk on beer.

I'm also concerned that the trace amount of alcohol will cause some of my withdrawal symptoms to return.

Jenners

The amount is very low, 0.5% so if you only had one I am not sure if it would trigger anything. Are you trying to not make it obvious that you are in recovery? I would think ordering a non-alc beer would be more obvious than just ordering a pop.

Aegian

Everyone is different, so you never know. I had a NA beer with dinner about 6 weeks ago (I am just now at 90 days) and was really disappointed. Like you, I was never a beer drinker, just once in a while with a meal. It was really gross and nasty tasting - bitter even. Not full bodied like a regular beer. Hard to even finish it. One was enough for me. Nothing but liquid bread and calories for the sake of calories. I'll pass on the next one.

YMMV.

noozgroop

Yes. Also, she apparently likes beer and wine.

Ghostly

^ Then skip the non alcoholic beer, have something truly non alcoholic, and tell them you're in Recovery. If you are in Recovery, you need to stay away from alcohol. That includes the small amount in most non alcoholic beer. It is irrelevant what you were drinking before.

Good luck and congrats on the sober time.

noozgroop

I figure that most women will head for the hills if I tell them I'm in recovery.

suki44883

You have to be who you are. If you are in recovery, then you have to act that way all the time. It needs to become the main focus in your life...more important than impressing a new friend. Ordering a non-alcoholic brew would actually be a great way to open the conversation. If she, or anyone else, runs for the hills, then it wasn't the right person.

Saliena

When I go I don't shout it from the rooftops that I am in recovery. If someone asks me I am very selective of who I share my Anonymity with... it is mine and mine alone to share with the people that are close to me. For that reason when I go out I will often have a "mock-tail"... my most favorite one is an Anarold Palmer.... a tonic water and lime. noone is really ever playing that close of attention... and I still fit in without having to let everyone know that I am in recovery.

PaleMale

I can wash my mouth with Listerine or eat a rum-ball and experience no cravings. One sip of NA Beer and the cravings come over me like an unstoppable flow of warm sewage. I wasn't a beer drinker either.

What keeps me sober may make another drunk. We're all different, but near-Beer is dangerous stuff. It's been said, "Non-alcoholic beer is for non-alcoholics."

Mark75

My opinion is only that ... You are playing with fire ... For a lot of reasons ... The first would be that it is a date and all that goes along with that. The temptation to drink in that situation I believe is already high... Add to that you are early on in recovery. If you really want to call attention to the fact you are recovering, nothing screams it louder than an NA beer in that setting...

Just order a seltzer or something. Tell her you quit drinking... You don't have to explain anything.

Dee74

It it was me - these are my red flags

I'm on a date - trying to impress, I'd assume, like we all do.
I'm in a bar...dangerous place for folks like us, especially in early recovery
and I've deliberately chosen to drink something that doesn't look out of place - am I trying to fit in?

It wouldn't matter to me whether it was NA beer, NA wine or a mocktail...the atmosphere, and the situation would already have my alcoholic brain ticking.

be careful noozgroup.

D

Shining~Again

I keep thinking I am misunderstanding this --- apparently not.
Ummm...1st date. No way would I order a non-alcoholic drink. 2 reasons: it's something anyone would notice. If you do want her to know you're in recovery, ordering that seems counterproductive.
If you don't want her to know (which I think is a bit tmi on a 1st date. You're supposed to be just seeing if you enjoy each other. There shouldn't be any indepth stuff) just order a soda.
Sorry if I'm off track here. Maybe you have different ways of doing things on first dates. Best of luck to you no matter which you choose

MrSilver

As with most things it comes down to personal preference. I have found that a virgin margarita is a good drink for me to order when out. Others think virgin drinks are a bad idea. Deep down you know what the correct answer is. Remember, it should be OK because you feel it is OK, not because someone else does.

Anna

UofI2008

Think about what you are saying. You want to quit drinking but you don't want a potential girlfriend to know you are in recovery? Sounds like a bad way to start a potential relationship. As far, as the NA beer I know I couldn't do it but I was also a beer drinker. The whole situation would be one giant trigger for me.

Every person is different though and if you can go/ drink NA beer and stay sober, great. I would take an honest look at the situation and myself before I went though.

feralheart

Pretty much every large name soda has the same amount of alcohol in it (0.5%). I think 7up actually has 0.7%. I just don't think it's the small amount of alcohol that proves to be a problem with some people and non-alcoholic beer, otherwise soda would be just as much of a trigger.

Dee74

with all due respect I think this is a little straw man of an argument feralheart.

Like palemale said, I can use listerine, drink certain soft drinks, drink orange juice and eat bread - all things that may have an alcohol content - and be ok

put an NA beer in my hand - especially in a bar setting- and it's a very different matter.

For the record, most soft drinks companies declare (like the Coca Cola Co. and Pepsico) their products have no alcohol content at all - the muslim market is huge...

some have trace elements (around the region of 0.01-.03 %) as alcohol is used as a solvent in some processes, and may be an element in some flavourings, but it is not an ingredient.

D

feralheart

Non-alcoholic beer triggers me too. I just don't think it's because of the trace amount of alcohol, it's because of my unhealthy relationship with drinking and the association between beer and getting drunk.

Dee74

for me it's all about the mental associations and the behaviour yeah

D

noozgroop

Thank you for the responses. I should mention that during my recovery, I have been in many restaurants that serve alcohol, and I have not ordered any alcoholic beverages.