NotSoSmart

I've been doing pretty good... lots of changes. My mother moved out this month, which means I only have to deal with her toxic behavior in smaller doses instead of 24/7.

My sister has been staying with me off and on. She said she was in recovery but I think her definition is different than mine. I can say though that right now I am feeling some gratitude b/c her presence is helping me use my Al Anon tools in a somewhat less emotionally charged situation. I can hear the little lies and not feel obligated to point out all the holes in her story. She is starting work Monday so hopefully she'll get her own place in a month or so.

My AGF is out of rehab and living in sober housing. we've definitely had some ups and downs... on my end for having expectations. I learned quickly that "recovery" doesn't mean "all better now" and sometimes we have worse problems communicating than when she was using. She's got a long road ahead of her and so do I.

As a result I've been working with my sponsor and attending meetings. It became painfully clear that my one meeting a week strategy wasn't cutting it. I need to go at least 2 if not more a week. I think I've gotten a plan where maybe I can hit 3 a week; 2 with babysitting, one if i can get a sitter. I recognize that I need to be in a meeting; there is no substitute.

So I've been a bit busy, but recommitting myself to working on ME, which I still need to realize is not only OK, but essential.

It is also neat to read some of the newbie posts and actually have something to say, whereas I used to feel I was just as lost, unable to help anyone else let alone me.

I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving !