Just an ugly update..:(
Jujubee Queen
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Just an ugly update..:(
Hi everyone,
Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Well, youngest son, (age 33) still in prison in Fla. for selling Meth....
he'll be there until 2013, from what I understand.
Oldest son, (age 38) has been out of prison for about 2 years now, wow time goes fast! He has had a multitude of YOUNG girlfriends, ages 23,25, 24...etc.
In the last few months he has been with 3 different girls, and nw, low and behold, he calls about a month ago, and says this GF is pregnant. She is 23, and doesn't work, doesn't attend college, and takes care of her Schizophrenic mother...
I do not believe in abortion, but, sorry, it was the first thing I recommended.
He told me, SHE doesn't believe in abortion, and WANTS to have the child.
I said, you have 2 children now, (the 2 year old we help with, and an 18 yr. old) who you have never supported, you cannot support yourself, yet you're bringing a child into the world.
Needless to say, I'm a bit upset. We currently watch his 2 year old son 6 days a week, because the mother is working, and attending college.
I absolutely refuse to take on another child. Period.
Therefore, after, a screamfest from son, unrelated to the pregnancy...I have cut off all ties with him, told him not to call or come around. That was 2 weeks ago.
Hugs and hugs......
Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Well, youngest son, (age 33) still in prison in Fla. for selling Meth....
he'll be there until 2013, from what I understand.
Oldest son, (age 38) has been out of prison for about 2 years now, wow time goes fast! He has had a multitude of YOUNG girlfriends, ages 23,25, 24...etc.
In the last few months he has been with 3 different girls, and nw, low and behold, he calls about a month ago, and says this GF is pregnant. She is 23, and doesn't work, doesn't attend college, and takes care of her Schizophrenic mother...
I do not believe in abortion, but, sorry, it was the first thing I recommended.
He told me, SHE doesn't believe in abortion, and WANTS to have the child.
I said, you have 2 children now, (the 2 year old we help with, and an 18 yr. old) who you have never supported, you cannot support yourself, yet you're bringing a child into the world.
Needless to say, I'm a bit upset. We currently watch his 2 year old son 6 days a week, because the mother is working, and attending college.
I absolutely refuse to take on another child. Period.
Therefore, after, a screamfest from son, unrelated to the pregnancy...I have cut off all ties with him, told him not to call or come around. That was 2 weeks ago.
Hugs and hugs......
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: in the tree tops
Posts: 209
Moose, ... ugh. What a thing to happen. Thankfully the 2 yr olds mom is with the program and so wonderful that you are there to help with grandson so she can improve her lot in life. If points are brownies you will have a wheelbarrow full and more! I sure hope there is someone who can give you a break from time to time or a day at the spa or a trip to the beach or a locked room with candles, hot tub and good book.
Much love, and hugs
Much love, and hugs
Guest
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 2,968
I know how tiring this must be for you, it does make one weary.
I know that enabling is the not the way to go and since I have also
had this news twice I now totally believe in condoms as an easy mail
item and well worth the enabling.
Take care and I just know that there must be rewards waiting for us
Moms as it never really seems to get easier to take the unwanted and
unnecessary enlightened bits of news they like to share with us.
My son asked me recently, (he is in jail) do I not want to be a grandmother,
I simply said NO..it isn't true but I would like it to a wanted child not a
lustful moment without stability for the child attached. Good Grief!
lauren
I know that enabling is the not the way to go and since I have also
had this news twice I now totally believe in condoms as an easy mail
item and well worth the enabling.
Take care and I just know that there must be rewards waiting for us
Moms as it never really seems to get easier to take the unwanted and
unnecessary enlightened bits of news they like to share with us.
My son asked me recently, (he is in jail) do I not want to be a grandmother,
I simply said NO..it isn't true but I would like it to a wanted child not a
lustful moment without stability for the child attached. Good Grief!
lauren
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Aww, Moose, my son has two children (and quite possibly 3) who only knew him for a few short years and then the mamas left (rightly so because of his addiction) and never looked back.
It disgusts me that our boys are so careless about creating life that they cannot support, financially OR emotionally, they can't even look after themselves and yet they do this with absolutely no responsibility. These dear children deserve so much better than that.
Your grandson and his mother have been blessed to have you help them, Moose, but your plate is full, you are already doing more than most people could do in a lifetime. You know how much I care about your kids, but I am glad you have cut contact with this one, at least for now. The trouble never ends and you have handled more than your share over the years. Time to take care of Moose and Mr. Moose and to plan a happy future for yourself.
Love you lots and keep the Moose Clan in my prayers, including your boys, and I really hope things get better for you soon.
Hugs and Hugs
It disgusts me that our boys are so careless about creating life that they cannot support, financially OR emotionally, they can't even look after themselves and yet they do this with absolutely no responsibility. These dear children deserve so much better than that.
Your grandson and his mother have been blessed to have you help them, Moose, but your plate is full, you are already doing more than most people could do in a lifetime. You know how much I care about your kids, but I am glad you have cut contact with this one, at least for now. The trouble never ends and you have handled more than your share over the years. Time to take care of Moose and Mr. Moose and to plan a happy future for yourself.
Love you lots and keep the Moose Clan in my prayers, including your boys, and I really hope things get better for you soon.
Hugs and Hugs
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
I know that you know you did the right thing for both you and your son, but sometimes it helps me to hear someone agree when I make a tough choice. I'm sorry Moose. I hope you continue to find comfort in living in each day and enjoying your little grandson and Mr Moose. Hugs
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Moose))) - I'm sorry about all this, but totally agree that you are doing the right thing. I have cousins who are becoming grandparents in the 30's, addiction all over and I just don't get it. Luckily, they live hours and hours away from me and I don't hear much about them.
Take care of you, first and foremost.
Love, hugs, and prayers,
Amy
Take care of you, first and foremost.
Love, hugs, and prayers,
Amy
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
I too am sorry, however, it really is time for you & Mr. Moose to start living your own life.
There does come a time in life to say "Enough"...perhaps you are finally there.
Hugs and support...Dolly
There does come a time in life to say "Enough"...perhaps you are finally there.
Hugs and support...Dolly
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,288
Oh, dear God, that's all you need in your life now. Another child to look after, a young woman that lives off her mother's disability and her schizo mother to deal with.
I would also close my doors and put dead bolt locks inside and out.
I would also close my doors and put dead bolt locks inside and out.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
Moose,
As a recovering alcoholic, I encounter people with "complicated" lives like your older son more often than I care to admit. The only thing I can say is to trot out the old saying "There are none so blind as those who will not see."
In my view you are right to refuse to support your son in this latest venture, particularly having already gone above and beyond for his older child and her mother. There is no easy or clean answer to this situation, but at some point you have to draw the line and say "no more." It is hard to speak of a child in these terms, but to continue to play hero in response to his poor choices will reduce to zero the chances that he will ever take ownership of the consequences of his actions.
As a recovering alcoholic, I encounter people with "complicated" lives like your older son more often than I care to admit. The only thing I can say is to trot out the old saying "There are none so blind as those who will not see."
In my view you are right to refuse to support your son in this latest venture, particularly having already gone above and beyond for his older child and her mother. There is no easy or clean answer to this situation, but at some point you have to draw the line and say "no more." It is hard to speak of a child in these terms, but to continue to play hero in response to his poor choices will reduce to zero the chances that he will ever take ownership of the consequences of his actions.
Jujubee Queen
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Thank you everyone.
Gosh Kiki, you know, I never thought of the fact of her collecting from her mothers disability...never entered my mind.
I wondered what she did for money...silly me.
Eddiebuckle,
Thank you for the encouragement. I am having a very difficult time with this.
The reason we are now watching his 2 year old, (who he seldom sees,) 6 days a week, is because the childs mother is attending college, and working. She has a goal and she is working on it.
When we are not here..(we live in Canada from May to Sept.) this child is shuffled from sitter to sitter because daycare is not open at night, and she works, or is attending night classes. We came home early last Summer, because the child was acting out.
I am hoping she will let us take the child to Canada this coming Summer. But, because of my son, she is one year behind. So maybe she'll take advantage of the fact we are willing to take him for half the Summer.
His daughter, (18) I did not see, since she was 18 months old, her mother whisked her away, and didn't leave a forwarding address...lol
It hurt terribly then, but now, looking back, that mother did the best thing for her child.
My biggest concern is the new baby. If you knew my son, you would see how irresponsible he is, I feel sorry for the pregnant mother to be, caught in his web.
The mother of the 2 year old, told me, he kept her practically hostage, so she would not have the opportunity to have an abortion. She's not sure she would have, but just saying.
What amazes me the most is how he ALWAYS has a GF. THIS girl, is the 3rd girl in 4 months. Mr. Moose and I cannot understand how they all get scammed. BUT, I say this, he is a SMOOTH talker, I've been scammed for years.
Thank you all for you comments, and advice, I'm listening.
Gosh Kiki, you know, I never thought of the fact of her collecting from her mothers disability...never entered my mind.
I wondered what she did for money...silly me.
Eddiebuckle,
Thank you for the encouragement. I am having a very difficult time with this.
The reason we are now watching his 2 year old, (who he seldom sees,) 6 days a week, is because the childs mother is attending college, and working. She has a goal and she is working on it.
When we are not here..(we live in Canada from May to Sept.) this child is shuffled from sitter to sitter because daycare is not open at night, and she works, or is attending night classes. We came home early last Summer, because the child was acting out.
I am hoping she will let us take the child to Canada this coming Summer. But, because of my son, she is one year behind. So maybe she'll take advantage of the fact we are willing to take him for half the Summer.
His daughter, (18) I did not see, since she was 18 months old, her mother whisked her away, and didn't leave a forwarding address...lol
It hurt terribly then, but now, looking back, that mother did the best thing for her child.
My biggest concern is the new baby. If you knew my son, you would see how irresponsible he is, I feel sorry for the pregnant mother to be, caught in his web.
The mother of the 2 year old, told me, he kept her practically hostage, so she would not have the opportunity to have an abortion. She's not sure she would have, but just saying.
What amazes me the most is how he ALWAYS has a GF. THIS girl, is the 3rd girl in 4 months. Mr. Moose and I cannot understand how they all get scammed. BUT, I say this, he is a SMOOTH talker, I've been scammed for years.
Thank you all for you comments, and advice, I'm listening.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,288
Gosh Kiki, you know, I never thought of the fact of her collecting from her mothers disability...never entered my mind.
I wondered what she did for money...silly me.
I wondered what she did for money...silly me.
They even spent the money my father put aside for her funeral! He died first. And they (my brother and sister) had the "GALL" to ask me to help pay for most of the funeral which cost $7,000. She never lived with me nor did I have access to where her monthly payments went to. I was mad as hell. And since we couldn't keep her on ice until they all came up with their share, I had to make it due so she could be buried.
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