wpainterw

I hope I'm not on the pitty pot today but I'm rather amazed when folks invite us over and can offer nothing other than alcohol to drink. You'd think that they might have some orange juice or something like that in the frig. But no. Only champagne and those little thin glasses. "Are you sure you won't have some of the bubbly?" they ask. "Yes, sure" I reply. If I hadn't been sober for so long I would have found this quite a challenge. Well, you might say, did they know I was a recovering alcoholic? Maybe not. But if around ten percent of the population is alcoholic you might think that they would have something around just in case. And don't they ever have orange juice for breakfast? Or just "bubbly"? Then after Thanksgiving dinner they trotted out the rum! "Oh please, have some rum!" Well, at least it wasn't like the old days when I was just entering recovery and my father in law would go around the room, saying to each person, "Will you have your usual martini? Maybe an old fashioned for you? White wine you say?" and then at the end turn to me and in a loud voice say, "And what will you have? ORANGE JUICE?"
Yes, it's sometimes called the "lonely disease".

W.

Anna

I tend to agree with you.

I've been in the situation where I invited relatives I don't see too often over for supper. They arrived with a bottle of wine, and looked shocked when my husband said, 'We have X to drink, so please take this home with you.' My husband did not say it in a rude manner, nor did he say it in an apologetic way. It's rude to assume that any and all will want to drink the wine you bring.

wpainterw

Thanks Anna! Well maybe next time I'll arrive with orange juice. Let's hope they don't say, "We're having only 'bubbly' tonight! Please take your orange juice home with you! (or at least sit over there in the corner with it so you don't embarrass the rest of us!)"

W.

chicory

(((W)))
Happy Thanksgiving! first of all. It takes a bit of rising above, I think, to take the focus off of alcohol, when most everyone is so anxious to get their holiday ""buzz" on-ugh.I am not even an alcoholic, but recovering acoa. I am usually secretly a bit horrified to see how many people just scramble for their favorite drink. it is almost like i can feel their alcoholism creeping up on them. I know, I am just too imaginative and sensitive, but please, does everyone in the world, except for recovering alcoholics and non-drinkers, HAVE to have alcohol to enjoy theirselves? I just sit back and wonder how many are alcoholics, and ruination is on the horizon for them.

I am glad that you are sober and having a clear head this morning, W. You are such a blessing here.
hugs
chicory

wpainterw

Chicory: Actually I don't mind it at all if others drink. I just feel better if I have some orange juice or lemonade in my hand. We're having some folks over on Sunday and the man's wife doesn't want him to drink. My wife suggests that I offer him orange juice. "No way" I say, That would be treating him like he's a child or trying to "control" him or letting his wife "control" him. The proper approach is to say merely "What would you like to drink?" and then let him decide. He knows I'm an alcoholic and would have juice, lemonade, etc. in the frig. I think an alcoholic deserves to be treated with respect and not someone you try to "control". If you try to "control" an alcoholic he or she may well make that an excuse for another relapse. The choice is theirs. They'll never get into recovery unless they make a choice for themselves. Trying to "control" them only makes it worse.
Every good wish to you.

W.

wpainterw

Chicory: P.S. That's a fine cat you have on your avatar. Its expression just matches my holiday mood! The cat always knows what's going on!

W.

Itchy

Aww cmon! They just don't understand! When they ask what you want to drink just tell them a Screwdriver, hold the vodka.

chicory

Itchy- that is so funny! great idea!

W.- that is Tom, and he had my eyeglasses on his head, dont know if you could see that. and yes, he had that "look", didn't he?

well wishes to all!

artsoul

I can relate, painter..... As an artist, I usually do at least one show a year at one of the galleries and it's the typical "wine and cheese" thing. At least half the time, there's not even a pitcher of water on the side. I've also been to other receptions and a board meeting this year where it was the same way. I felt the same way you do.....

For the art shows where I have to be there for hours, I've started taking a little cooler with me! - It's so funny to think about sneaking in non-alcoholic drinks.... !!!

raindancer11

That is funny! But also smart..good idea for me on New Year's Eve.

Dee74

Maybe it's an Aussie thing but I always bought my own drinks as a drinker...I still do as a non drinker

D

wpainterw

Thanks Dee but if you're over at someone's house and the guy says he has no orange juice or other nonalcoholic stuff available you're out of luck no matter how much money you offer him!

W.

Dee74

sorry language slippage LOL
'bought' meaning I bring my own drinks with me

D

SASA

lol. I completly agree. They always treat me as outsider. It is oh have some punch. Are you sure you want water? We ahve only tap water. We can put ice in it..... lol.....

wpainterw

Dee: I've done that. Used to do it also when I was on a diet.

W.

debsam

wpainterw - with your lead up story and then this line - "And what will you have? ORANGE JUICE?" - I felt like I was there and I burst out laughing....little comic relief never hurt anyone. Thanks!

debsam

Dee - I'm also laughing at your "bought" - I've got an Aussie in my house right now

Itchy

"I've got an Aussie in my house right now"
Is your's housebroken?

NewBeginning010

I bring my own bubbly to the parties I go to now, usually two bottles actually as I dislike it when another of the like kind finds out about my secret stash & dip in heavily on my drink of choice.

It is somewhat similar to the events of the past with watching & protecting my bottles of booze & beer in the fridge but now its too sparking glass bottle of cool crisp bubbly... I love it!

Here is a picture of it:



Funny thing is I felt a little self conscious of bringing my six large bottles of sparking water home after buying some while they were clinging & klanging loudly against each-other in a song of dancing glass, liquid & bubbles in my bag... I was concerned that others might be thinking I had 6 bottles of booze in my bags (then laughed to myself & smiled within ;-).

I also noticed a few people taking a peek at my bottle as I poured my glass at my last party. One person even asked my how many percent it was after I finished pouring... I told them 100 percent with a grin. Its was true afterall... one hundred percent water (and bubbles/carbonated).

I have become more self reliant on my recovery & what it takes to keep me happy & satisfied. I also care less about what others think about me & more about the good decisions I make for me. I could not have fathomed happily bringing two bottles of sparking water with me in the past. Actually I have to admit, I am just a little proud of myself when I do it, don't tell anyone though ? ;-)

All of the best in your recovery ~ NB

P.S. I forgot to say the brand... its San Pelligrino water it comes in different flavors (I prefer it chilled with a fresh squeeze of lemon... no ice as to not disturb the bubbles) http://www.sanpellegrino.com/

P.P.S. I just had a thought about what to say when I am asked what I want to drink at a party... I will have a San Pelligrino no ice with a slice of lemon on the side. When told they dont have it will pull out my own bottle & drink away

NewBeginning010

I just wanted to add to this thread as I had a great time at a friends Grey Cup football party yesterday & enjoyed putting away another two full bottles of bubbly with no hangovers or other drinking related problems.Well I did spill a little getting up quickly to high five after a touchdown :

I hope you find a non alcoholic bubbly substitute that works for you too ;-)

I'm still rocking my San Pellegrino water