1+ year
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 518
1+ year
I had promised to write something after my 1 year, but have been a little too lazy to sum things up in a lengthy tome. So, I will make it quick and easy hitting the main points.
Last year I decided to stop drinking all together. I never was a huge drinker or binge but was steadily starting to drink every day; at first only at night and then it started to hit around noon. Being an ex-smoker and understanding my huge addiction to nicotine and how it has taken the better part of 6+ years to quit, I knew that I was going down the same road and had to stop forever.
At first it was extremely difficult - with withdrawal symptoms happening every 10-30 minutes. I kept fighting with my mental thoughts to stop thinking about it eventually landing here at SR. I read and kept reading for days on end, and found so much solace here that it became my defacto "recovery" as I could find so much help and encouragement within these threads to continue the long and often stressful journey to staying sober.
Let me start by saying, I do have a past of depression and am currently on meds to curb general anxiety. This has been a help, but I don't rely on them to take care of anxiety issues all together. Alcohol started to "pretend" to help, but was having a long-term reverse affect on me - I needed to realize this. Once I cleared my mind and understood my mental makeup it was very eye opening.
First off - I now understand that I am probably never going to have this "happy" go lucky attitude like some people. And in order to feel normal, my normal was going to be different than the status quo. What I realized over the last year is that the status quo likes to be around people, go to bars, party, have great conversations over wine at dinner, etc..... Interestingly enough, the alcohol substituted my actual dislike for these situations, as I have found that I enjoy time with my family (wife and kids) only and perhaps 1 or 2 other people. I was always putting on a show when I went out, pretending to enjoy myself - having people over for huge BBQs and get togethers. I never even liked this, and have now cut it out entirely.
I enjoy my down time considerably, and thank/acknowledge this as being what life and happiness is. It has been a big weight off my shoulders, and I have been able to enjoy work more and family time more - because I have focused on the little things that make life simple and pleasurable.
It has also not been easy. The first 3 months were very difficult, however I found months 3-9 the toughest, because you get a feeling of contentment and slowly think about going back to what you remember: this is where it is very important to fight the urges. Since then it has been much easier, as life has simplified so much. Once I accepted what my version of happiness is/was and that it might take years to relearn to enjoy the simpler things in life - it made this journey so much easier.
I remain to this day a dedicated member of the SR family - although I don't post much, it is part of my daily routine.
To all newcomers; resist the urge and seek help. SR is a great place for some, but for others you might need more. Do whatever it takes to get yourself through the tough first 3 months. Accept that it takes an incredible amount of time (and energy) to fight, and that you will often feel exhausted - but that this is all normal and should be expected. With time, you will slowly grow and heal and as each passing day goes by you get that much stronger. It is worth it.
My favourite quote from this site...
"Stick around, you'll find a lot of help and support here"!
Last year I decided to stop drinking all together. I never was a huge drinker or binge but was steadily starting to drink every day; at first only at night and then it started to hit around noon. Being an ex-smoker and understanding my huge addiction to nicotine and how it has taken the better part of 6+ years to quit, I knew that I was going down the same road and had to stop forever.
At first it was extremely difficult - with withdrawal symptoms happening every 10-30 minutes. I kept fighting with my mental thoughts to stop thinking about it eventually landing here at SR. I read and kept reading for days on end, and found so much solace here that it became my defacto "recovery" as I could find so much help and encouragement within these threads to continue the long and often stressful journey to staying sober.
Let me start by saying, I do have a past of depression and am currently on meds to curb general anxiety. This has been a help, but I don't rely on them to take care of anxiety issues all together. Alcohol started to "pretend" to help, but was having a long-term reverse affect on me - I needed to realize this. Once I cleared my mind and understood my mental makeup it was very eye opening.
First off - I now understand that I am probably never going to have this "happy" go lucky attitude like some people. And in order to feel normal, my normal was going to be different than the status quo. What I realized over the last year is that the status quo likes to be around people, go to bars, party, have great conversations over wine at dinner, etc..... Interestingly enough, the alcohol substituted my actual dislike for these situations, as I have found that I enjoy time with my family (wife and kids) only and perhaps 1 or 2 other people. I was always putting on a show when I went out, pretending to enjoy myself - having people over for huge BBQs and get togethers. I never even liked this, and have now cut it out entirely.
I enjoy my down time considerably, and thank/acknowledge this as being what life and happiness is. It has been a big weight off my shoulders, and I have been able to enjoy work more and family time more - because I have focused on the little things that make life simple and pleasurable.
It has also not been easy. The first 3 months were very difficult, however I found months 3-9 the toughest, because you get a feeling of contentment and slowly think about going back to what you remember: this is where it is very important to fight the urges. Since then it has been much easier, as life has simplified so much. Once I accepted what my version of happiness is/was and that it might take years to relearn to enjoy the simpler things in life - it made this journey so much easier.
I remain to this day a dedicated member of the SR family - although I don't post much, it is part of my daily routine.
To all newcomers; resist the urge and seek help. SR is a great place for some, but for others you might need more. Do whatever it takes to get yourself through the tough first 3 months. Accept that it takes an incredible amount of time (and energy) to fight, and that you will often feel exhausted - but that this is all normal and should be expected. With time, you will slowly grow and heal and as each passing day goes by you get that much stronger. It is worth it.
My favourite quote from this site...
"Stick around, you'll find a lot of help and support here"!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,492
Joe,
Wonderful to hear from you and I love your post.
I love that you are able to accept yourself for who you are, rather than trying to live up to other people's expectations of you. That is huge!
Wonderful to hear from you and I love your post.
I love that you are able to accept yourself for who you are, rather than trying to live up to other people's expectations of you. That is huge!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,247
Thank you very much for taking the time to post! Glad you are in a better place without alcohol. I'm on day 10 so your post gives me a great deal of hope as I take this one day at a time. Thanks again.
Jim
Jim
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
Congrats on over one year, that is fantastic!
I agree that a large part of learning to live sober has to do with defining what we consider happiness or contentedness to look like. I'm glad you have found what makes your sobriety worthwhile.
I agree that a large part of learning to live sober has to do with defining what we consider happiness or contentedness to look like. I'm glad you have found what makes your sobriety worthwhile.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
