interesting new move
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
interesting new move
Stbxah texted me last week (he got zero response from me fyi) to tell me that I was a hypocrite and liar earlier this week (not surprising that this comes following a week long period where he made and broke multiple promises to our kids and while I said nothing at all to him about these broken promises, he knows and I am guessing that my lack of reaction is actually causing him more distress than if I did respond)... Anyway, he texts me to tell me he'd been "following" me (yes, I saved the text) to see what I do after work and that I "need" to tell him when I go to the gym instead of getting the girls directly from work and that bc I haven't done that (went to the gym ONCE in the past week) I am a liar and dishonest and not to be trusted.
Clearly, projecting.
It's just a whole new level of insanity. Following me? Checking the gym for my car and texting me that going to the gym is akin to me lying?
Obsessed much?
I debated responding and telling him that his text reads like a stalker and he ought to be careful but all that will do is create more drama so I just ignored it and haven't heard a peep. And he failed to call (or see) the girls since he sent the text. Fine with me. The less interaction, the better.
Clearly, projecting.
It's just a whole new level of insanity. Following me? Checking the gym for my car and texting me that going to the gym is akin to me lying?
Obsessed much?
I debated responding and telling him that his text reads like a stalker and he ought to be careful but all that will do is create more drama so I just ignored it and haven't heard a peep. And he failed to call (or see) the girls since he sent the text. Fine with me. The less interaction, the better.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
WTBH...
I'm sooooo glad to hear strength inmyour post... And happy to hear you didn't engage!! You go girl!!
That post just made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Please be careful. Make no mistake about it... He is dangerous. He is an alcoholic. He is losing control of you... And himself. I know you know this,.... But save all those texts and journal the facts about the event.
I am dealing with the standard alcoholic accusation of "I must be cheating". I have come to learn that is a pretty standard progression of the disease, particularly in response to the loss of an enabler.
Be safe!!
Shannon
I'm sooooo glad to hear strength inmyour post... And happy to hear you didn't engage!! You go girl!!
That post just made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Please be careful. Make no mistake about it... He is dangerous. He is an alcoholic. He is losing control of you... And himself. I know you know this,.... But save all those texts and journal the facts about the event.
I am dealing with the standard alcoholic accusation of "I must be cheating". I have come to learn that is a pretty standard progression of the disease, particularly in response to the loss of an enabler.
Be safe!!
Shannon
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Columbia MO
Posts: 1,127
Dear WTBH, good for you, echoing Shannon please be careful, don't know if you follow self-defense teachings but there is a state called "condition yellow".
Condition yellow is a state of alertness, what are your circumstances (alone, dark alley, very public place), who is around you, what are your escape routes, are you going to fight or flight, etc. please be aware of your surroundings at all times.
Be safe, and best of luck to you.
Bill
Condition yellow is a state of alertness, what are your circumstances (alone, dark alley, very public place), who is around you, what are your escape routes, are you going to fight or flight, etc. please be aware of your surroundings at all times.
Be safe, and best of luck to you.
Bill
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Awesome Recovery!!
The ability to detach and not participate is a great gift that we receive the stronger we become in our program!
Please do be on alert and also, please alert some close friends so they can check on you often to make sure you are ok ~ Exah's do crazy things ~ things you would never believe they would do - Miine did!
Possibly drive a different way home, shop at a different grocery store, change your patterns, have your cell phone easily accessable when you are walking to your vehicle - it's not over reacting - it's just being cautious.
Better safe than being another story on the 6 o'clock news!!!
PINK HUGS,
Rita
The ability to detach and not participate is a great gift that we receive the stronger we become in our program!
Please do be on alert and also, please alert some close friends so they can check on you often to make sure you are ok ~ Exah's do crazy things ~ things you would never believe they would do - Miine did!
Possibly drive a different way home, shop at a different grocery store, change your patterns, have your cell phone easily accessable when you are walking to your vehicle - it's not over reacting - it's just being cautious.
Better safe than being another story on the 6 o'clock news!!!
PINK HUGS,
Rita
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Quebec
Posts: 2,708
WTBH...you're awesome. Just awesome.
I do agree that perhaps you should mention his "following" you to the people closest to you, because it can turn nasty rather quickly. Aside from taking measures to be safe, you're doing so well! YAY for you!
I do agree that perhaps you should mention his "following" you to the people closest to you, because it can turn nasty rather quickly. Aside from taking measures to be safe, you're doing so well! YAY for you!
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