Jenners

I am not sure about what to expect out of an AA meeting or how to act at one. I finally admitted to my Dr today (when she was asking me about high liver enzymes in my blood test results) about my alcoholism. I could barely answer any question without totally bawling. This whole disease, despite being 15 years in the making, seems to be at such an emotional climax for me. I find myself crying on my way home from work, while trying to read the paper, right now... I am not sure how I could participate in a meeting without totally just sobbing. I don't think that would be helpful to others.

On a good note, I am drinking water right now. And that's it. I am NEVER drinking water at 10:30 at night. Unless it is soda water with vodka. Knowing I will be rewarded with feeling decent in the morning makes me happy. It's not a day one, but I have cut down from my usual 12 - 15 to about 5. That's really good for me. Baby steps count too, right?

Zebra1275

I am not sure how I could participate in a meeting without totally just sobbing.

Two things are always in abundent supply at the AA meetings I go to. Coffee and Kleenex.

I think crying at an AA meeting is a good thing for a newcomer, it sorta demonstrates to the group that you are serious about Step One. A different man cried at each of the last two AA meetings I've attended. You are not alone.

DarrenW

Good luck! I have been to three AA meeting. Two were ok, and I loved one. I will keep going to that one. It was scary has hell for me the first five minutes than they were actually fun. Laughed alot. You will be welcomed for sure. Hope you find a good meeting and your health improves!!

EDHARLEY

I attended a few meetings, they are what they are. To me I realized that they were hosted by people.. and people are people. I had this idea when I went to my first meeting that everyone would greet me with open arms and it would be splendid.. it did not go like that as it never does not even in church.. It / there can be clicks and you feel (or I felt) as awkward as I did on the first day of school. I noticed that I felt awkward, that is to say no one seemed to act as if I was awkward.. I just felt awkward (I started to tear up then too). After that I found that, I had to find the right meeting, and spend time in them to gather my foundation but once I did I met a lot of interesting people.

I don’t remember why I stopped going oddly enough probably because I had to go because of my DUI.. but I still have friends from them which I keep in contact with.. So the point of the story is after all of that is that AA as in recovery is about you.. the act of defiance.. challenging boundaries..accepting your addiction and the rest will follow.. I guess..

1undone

I go to 3 a week and see crying at every one of them. We always think we are putting someone out or doing something wrong by being emotional. This is a tough time for you and it's not going to get easier before it gets better. Try a woman's group, they are much less threatening.

eJoshua

Check out the following website, it may answer some of the more specific questions you may have about AA meetings:

Your First AA Meeting<

BadCompany

I bawled like a baby at my first meeting, no big deal.

IndaMiricale

Hi there and glad to hear your thinking about meetings . hug

Just go and listen you will fall right into feeling welcome. the anxitity of going will lift in minutes. And all meetings are different so please try a few and find the ones that you really like.

I personally try to attend at least one a day. I need that shot of AA for 24 hrs.

Good love and welcome, enjoy a sober Thanksgiving


Like others said cry you eyes out if you feel like , thats what the fellowship is there for .

sugarbear1

AA can save your life. Go with an open mind and listen. I'm curious, though, as your levels are high, you're down to 5 vodka drinks a day, what is you and doctor's plan to get to 0 drinks a day? AA works when you're sober and desperately seeking sobriety. Maybe this can be worked out first, aa isn't the only way.....

Pigtails

Hi. Thank you for sharing. I just wanted to reiterate what everyone else has said: You are not alone. I cried my eyes out at an AA meeting and everyone was so supportive. Afterwards everyone said they had done the same at one point and that it's normal. One young woman came up to me and gave me her phone number and said to call her. I am so grateful to her. Now whenever I go to AA meetings I often feel like crying, and sometimes I do cry a bit, and I know I will cry more. There are so many emotions to deal with, but the important thing is dealing with them, feeling them, facing them, addressing them. You can do this. It's great that you're taking this step. No one at AA wants to be there at first, everyone is emotional about it. Everyone knows what you are going through and will help you. Best wishes to you and congrats on this first important step.

Mark75

Oh yea, reminds me... There is a catchy slogan for this situation too!! LOL!!

"You can't save your ass and your face at the same time"

I hate slogans too, but damn, sometimes they apply... LOL

You know, you will never meet a group of people that are more compassionate, caring and empathetic than at a good AA meeting... Everyone of them had to have a first time.

Raindance

Grab a seat, a kleenex, and a coffee, and just sit back and listen.

sampar

Jenners ,

Dont forget , ure attending a meeting where ppl there as just like you, alcoholic. Noone there can judge you, every1 of us who have walked through the doors of AA , werent there becasue life is a bed of roses, but for me now its smelling like roses

We need ppl like you to come to meetings , to remind us what was/can be like . In your tears there is growth. Keep reaching out, we need each other

Jenners

When I went to discuss the results, she started talking about all the things it could be and I don't think in a million years she expected me to start crying and admitting that I drink the equivalent of a magnum of wine or more (or the same in vodka or other spirits). I don't see her that often, we have moved a bit further away and for common ailments I just go to the local walk-in. She saw me fo the first time in awhile a month ago when I came in for my check-up and I seemed so happy and put-together and was just starting a new great job. I was also there with my two awesome kids. I do not think she thought I was the face of alcohol and I think she was in shock. I don't know that I am down to 5 drinks a day, I just tried super hard to cut it down yesterday. Her plan is to have me go for an ultrasound so we can see how my liver is doing and then come back to see her in two weeks. In the meantime she is going to research some treatment help for me in my area. She has been talking about a treatment area close to her office, but we realized it would not be feasible for me with my job and my family.

So, to sum up, I guess we are going to work on a plan when I see her in a few weeks. In the meantime, I am going to try and cut my drinking down, maybe even cut it out sometimes if I can, and try to get myself to an AA meeting. I drink heavily every evening, so am hoping that by cutting back, when I am actually ready to quit, the withdrawal won't be as severe or dangerous. I figure even if I have some bad days, having good days too will at least cut the consumption in half. Not a solution, I know, but at least a little gentler on my body until I have my plan in place.

camedown

The newcomer is the most important person at any meeting, as our primary purpose is that of remaining sober and helping other alcoholics achieve sobriety. The one piece of advice I can give is to state your name at the time given, and identify yourself as an alcoholic, if you can muster up the courage, there is a lot of power and freedom given in that simple act, at least it was for me.


camedown