GhostDogg

I'm only a couple of weeks into my sobriety, and going to AA meetings twice a week.

But thanksgiving is kind of scaring me, I know i'm not going to drink this week, but it almost seems like it's mandatory this time of the year.

sigh.

Just gonna have to take it an hour at a time for the next few days..

Thanks for listening.

CRAZE

For me I think it's going to be just the opposite. I have family in from out of town and a lot going on. Most of my family are not big drinkers. I think once the hollidays are over the temptation to settle back into my old social circles that center around alcohol is going to be the strongest.

Gerbosko

You're scared, yet confident?

Ghost, have a little more faith in yourself. Don't be scared of holidays, that's the totally opposite effect that they're suppose to have.

It's mandatory in the alcoholics brain. Holidays are thought of "drinking" holidays because people are sometimes put in situations where they don't know how to handle it, so they decide to poison themselves and act like utter fools.

sissy07

Hi Ghostdogg,

I could never drink around my family (because they knew I was an alcoholic and it wasn't worth the grief of the looks and hassling), however this year I am on my own. I do know what you mean, but what I keep thinkiing about is how great it will feel that I haven't drank after the Thanksgiving holiday is over, and how that can be a springboard and inspiration to knowing that I have what it takes to resist the Christmas temptations. I really want to wake up on New Year's Day and know that I went through the holidays sober...that may be enough to get me through 2012. Drinking is just not worth it....it would ruin my holidays - the disappointment in myself is just too painful. Try to remember that this season is less than a couple of months long - not long compared to the grief that you will carry around with you if you drink, and it can really make a difference in the next year with the self-esteem and strength that you develop from resisting over the holidays. Try to find a few good books to read regarding alcholism, go to AA meetings (or whatever works for you) and keep remembering how awful it was drinking and hungover. Just not worth it for a few hours of fun (the a few days of hangovers). Be strong.

Fenris

Yeah, the holidays and drinking go hand-in-hand for me. Then again, Tuesday and drinking does to. Daytime and drinking, nighttime and drinking, etc....I plan to just treat the holidays like I do any other day. I'll probably avoid any situations this year where I know drinking is going to be involved, until I get a little more sober time under my belt, and I plan on keeping a close eye on my stress level. This holiday season, I'm just going to take it as easy as I can and protect my sobriety.

--Fenris.

GhostDogg

thanks to all who replied

mygirlchandler

Yes, Ghost Dog - I am dreading (and have been all year) the holiday season.

I feel like a defect. It's embarassing to admit almost.

Have you developed a strategy for coping with this time of year? I contacted my therapist and begin working with her again tomorrow. I'll see her until March (typically).

I am also going to be reading a lot and hopefully excercising.

Get a plan and an accountability partner.

GhostDogg

My strategy for the holidays is to keep going to AA meetings and to stay away from any event where alcohol is the main reason people are getting together.

Dee74

I know I used to see drinking as mandatory at this time of year - I'd always say 'it's too hard...I'll start again on Jan2'...I never did tho.

Coming up to sober Xmas no 5 this year - I've found it's a lot easier than I *feared* it might be.

We SR peeps have to remember - what other people do is their business, but we know what happens to us when we drink.

Here's a link to some handy hints for the holiday season (apologies to those who are seeing this again)

Crying Out Now: Thanksgiving Survival Guide

D

pikkle69

Dreading dried out turkey more than booze...

GhostDogg

Thanks for the "Crying Out Now" link. i thought it was very well put-together.

Tigger41

I've thought a lot about this in the past few days. It will be the first holiday in, oh I don't know forever, that I won't drink. And I'm wondering if it is really society who puts the emphasis on "The holidays mean drinking" or if it is really just me who does. I think Thanksgiving and Christmas maybe all about getting together and maybe the alcohol just follows because I have asked it to come along with me. I think I saw it more as I time I didn't have to feel "as guilty" about drinking or drinking to excess as many people were doing the same. And maybe some of them I was just dragging along with me.

So my thinking this year (which I appear to have A LOT more time to think these days - I mean a lot more time to think) My kids don't think of Thanksgiving and Christmas as times to drink. I asked them and they said the following:

Thanksgiving is when we stay overnight in Philly and go to the parade in the morning and you buy us a pretzel and some hot chocolate while we watch the floats
Then we come home and you make turkey and apple pie
Then we play or watch football and sometimes we start to decorate the house for Christmas

Christmas time is when we go to see the lights, and visit Santa, and decorate the church
Then on Christmas morning we get to play with all the new stuff we get and we play games and sometimes just drive around and see other people's lights and play a Christmas movie on the tv in the van while we drive around. And we watch movies and hang out.

And you know - all the holiday stuff is still there - the lights, signing, visiting - everything but for me this year there will just be no booze.

So this year I'm not going to worry about finishing up those other things early so I can get home to my wine. No "We've seen enough lights let's go home" I'm not going to make sure we have a "Holiday visit" set up with one of my drinking buddies... this year I'm going to enjoy the lights a bit longer and take my time a bit more hanging the decorations and set up activities that used to get in the way of my drinking -

This year is going to be different and I think I'm really going to enjoy it.

Jenners

I associate all holidays with alcohol too. Especially Christmas/New Years. I keep thinking this might not be the best time to quit as these holidays are coming up so soon. But even if I quit in Jan, my birthday is still weeks later, so will that just be another excuse. When I think of it, for me, holidays have been ALL about the drinks and partying, when instead it should be about getting together with your loved ones and remembering the moments. I hope I practice what I preach

GhostDogg

Tigger41, good post.

Anna

Yes, absolutely right - if drinking was your holiday tradition, maybe it's time to change that. There are so many more meaningful ways to spend the Holidays than drinking.

1undone

I was wondering when someone would start this thread! For me it's another "first" sober. I mean I've never done it so I feel weird and out of sorts if that makes any sence. I used to focus so much on the partying/drinking part of the holidays that I'm not quite sure how to act or what the focus will be. But Tigers post just grounded me! Thank you!

It's still a first so once I get past it I will have all sober holidays this year and new years! Psychologically it will really help.

Zebra1275

The Holidays can be a dangerous time, I try to increase the number of meetings I attend just for some added protection. You say you are newly sober and attending two meetings a week. That's probably not enough. Many people recommend 90 meetings in 90 days so that you can get totally immersed in the program. That's tough to do, but a lot of us drank everyday and we found time enough to do that.

GhostDogg

I made it through Thanksgiving without drinking. so that's good. Godwilling i will make it through the Christmas Holiday/NYE

Tigger41

Christmas feels like its going to be a breeze. Come on GD we can do that one

NYE scares me. A LOT. I think I might be "sick" you know. The I have a stomach ache going to stay in bed. Already thinking about it. I know coward - chickening out. But I'm honestly concerned that I'll take a drink at midnight even on Antabuse. Ugh!! Not thinking about it now. I'll make a plan soon. When should I make a plan? Probably soon.

SparklingSeven

I was given the advice to watch myself AFTER Christmas etc. I've spoken to quite a few people who managed through Xmas/new year etc. who then let their guard down in the days/weeks after and relapsed.

Keeps you on your toes this bloody illness eh?