oct11

Are you just quitting "drinking" for a little bit? "you have done so good, maybe its not a problem" I am on day 22. I know in my heart it is a problem, but a part of my curiousity wonders, hmm, maybe it isn't a problem. Typing this I know it sounds ridiculous. I know drinking is my problem, and I know I will never have control over it. Maybe this is the time in recovery one thinks drinking could be managable?? Anyone else? My closest friends and family are drinkers, so I feel like with me being the only one choosing to quit, they don't understand where I am at.

Dee74

None of my family or drinking hellraising friends thought it was a problem either - my family because we don't have alcoholics in our family, and my friends because they didn't want to face the fact they might be alcoholics too.

I often went back to drinking because I *wanted* to be convinced it wasn't a problem - but I knew it was BS.

Comparing ourselves to others is actually not a great way to go - nor is taking drinking advice from someone on his second or third 6 pack of the night lol

if drinking is a problem for you, then it's a problem...deep down, you know the real deal oct11.
D

DarrenW

Some may find your willpower as a sign that they are weak (other heavy drinkers). All my friends are heavy drinkers and I am not looking forward to the peer pressure.

artsoul

I had the same thoughts for several months into recovery. The problem is, we feel so in control of everything when we're sober! It was hard to believe I was really an alcoholic. As time went on, though, it just seemed like a matter of fact and the old battles in my end about it just weren't there anymore.

Don't let anyone else's questions throw you - you're doing great!

Scolova

I agree with above. For me, all it would take is for 'that voice' (mine not theirs) to win out, just once, and I'd be binge drinking daily again. Drinking socially and in moderation has never been my way, All or nothing is the only thing that works with alcohol and myself and I have to remember that ever time 'those thoughts' creep into my forethought.
Good Luck

sugarbear1

If you believe in the disease concept, we have the ONE disease that tells us we have NO disease.

My disease wants me dead.

Stay strong!

cuyootoo

Drinking is only ONE of the many problems in life. Just because a person stops drinking doesn't solve everything like magic. In my case drinking again will just cause more suffering because I only enjoy drinking when I am out of control. I think about trying to go back to controlled drinking all the time, but the fact of the matter is that I don't really enjoy drinking unless I am out of control.

You could be different than me. Maybe you could enjoy controlled drinking. If you think you have a problem with alcohol, but your friends and family don't think you have a problem, great. That means that you haven't burnt that bridge. Do you really think that you need to stop drinking for permanent? I know that I should.

Here's another thing that I am just beginning to think about. Getting real joy out of life without alcohol. Healthy people make life pay them the joy and satisfaction that they think they deserve, but me, in my alcoholism, I drank myself into oblivion. I would believe anything that made me feel better. Life didn't have to change because I would just believe anything I wanted.

least

After so very many attempts to control my drinking I found it was easier to just not drink at all. And I was a home alone drinker so no one knew... but I knew I had a problem and didn't care what anyone else might think.

instant

This is quite a normal experience. It is how we handle these intrusive ideas that matters.

I do not go to AA. I recall from the Big Book something about the "delusion" that "this time will be different", and one day we can drink without the same consequences despite all our experience to he contrary.

If you have not done the short course at Rational recovery on AVRT (addictive voice recognition training) I recommend it

LaFemme

I don't feel like I am depriving myself of something wonderful by not drinking. So when people imply that I could drink again my answer is why on earth would I? Even if they invented a complete cure for alcoholism I wouldn't want to take it.

I am fortunate that I have t really faced pressure to drink.

Charon

Seems to me one naturally either drinks normally or abnormally (alcoholicly). If one has to control their drinking it isn't normal. Simple enough. I can't drink normally, thus I can't drink. Period, end of story.

EmeraldRose

My drinking had been 'on my heart' for many years. I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that my drinking was a problem. Regardless, of what anyone else said or thought. I stayed with that nagging gut feeling that continues to harbour in the back of your mind and finally listened to it. Now that I am listening to my gut feelings on a regular basis I notice that I seem almost 'smarter' in a sense. LOL What is right for someone else is NOT right for you. You can not adopt someone else's thoughts, feelings, morals, values or ethics into your journey. Your journey is yours alone.

Tigger41

Right there with you - I want to think that so much that I searched the boards, books, stories, medical journals etc looking for the post that read "I was sober for X years and I went back to drinking and have no issue what-so-ever. I have it all under control, I don't think about drinking during the day and now only have one or two on special occasions...." Couldn't find that anywhere - I can, however, find numberous ones that read. "I quit and after (2 years, 5 years, 10 years put in amount of time here) had a drink and now my drinking has progressed until I find myself worse then I ever was - so here I am at day 1 again."

Wish I had better news for you but I believe this is the case. Once you have a drinking problem all evidence indicates that you can't go back to "normal" drinking.

BTW I'm also looking for the posts that say that eating ice cream at night has been linked to weight loss but I haven't found that one either

marcia36

I remember feeling like that early on. Luckily I had someone close to me who wasn't going to sugarcoat everything and agree with me. They said 'maybe it's the alcoholic in you that is telling you it is okay to drink.' I was mad at first, but then I thought they might have a point. If you know deep down that you need to stop, dont let your mind play tricks on you. I am happy I didn't give in: I am celebrating a year sober this coming weekend! :-)

InParticular

I'm on day 24 and going through the exact same thing. Not gonna fall for it.

SoberRightNow

I've had to put quite a lot of effort into making sure my non-alcoholic friends don't think I am judging them now for drinking. I think a lot of normal drinkers feel a small amount of normal, healthy neurosis about their own drinking even when it isn't a problem (like anything unhealthy - eating too many snacks, not getting enough exercise etc) and they can often mistakenly think that an alcoholic in recovery is getting evangelical about the normal, day-to-day hazards of drinking rather than the alcoholic hazards.

I find once this is clearly communicated, generally the only people who still get defensive are those who possibly harbour quite legitimate concerns about their own drinking. They tend to be the ones who repeatedly bring up the subject of drinking or pour the most scorn upon recovery.

Most normal drinkers, once they understand, tend to just drop it.

Bobby1

I have not read other members responses. Also, I am much much less on my personal road to recovery than you are. 22 days is what really piqued my interest. In a marriage counseling meeting a while by my counselor suggested I not drink for 22 days. That was a number he had to describe how long it would take my body to detox from the alcohol. My response to him was "wouldn't it be more proof that I don't have problem if I drink only 1 or 2 drinks and then stop?"

Now, I think I agree with all three of us. "Yes", I could always stop at 1 or 2 then it would not be a problem. I remember drinking on only 3 of his 22 days, 1 drink twice and 2 drinks once. Looking back on things now makes me realize that I was ONLY able to accomplish it because it was going to be a short lived task. After the 22 days and my report to the counselor, I went right back to drinking what I really wanted. It grew from there. I suppose the answer for each all of us that we have a drink problem when either 1) the volume of our drinking is beyond recognized health ranges, 2) Our drinking creates social troubles (work, friends, family, etc), and 3) we fail to drink as little as we feel is correct for us even if #1 and #2 seem OK.

I know that I have #1 and #3 out of whack. The easiest one to screw up has got to be #3. For anyone who has ever had a drinking problem - getting #3 wrong must come first I think.

oct11

Thanks for all the replies!! I am on day 25! Yaaaee! I can do this, and yes I do have a problem, and no I will never be a "normal drinker"... Each day I am accepting this and each day it seems easier to know I will never drink again. I am sure from what most of you have said, it will get even easier as time goes on. This is the longest time for me not drinking in 15 years!!

Gerbosko

People who question you are just questioning themselves. They want to be assured that someone else has a problem and not them. It's some weird psychological thing.

When people don't question you quitting, they understand your situation and are accepting. At least that's how I look at it.