Can I do this without AA?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Corinth, TX
Posts: 490
Can I do this without AA?
I have really just not been able to make many meetings. Most of you know my story, and between my lupus, my sons cancer and my new job, making AA meetings has been close to impossible. My son is in the hospital again, and we came very close to losing him a few days ago. I need my job to help pay medical bills. I make on average 1 meeting every two weeks. Some of my friends in AA are sure I am heading for a relapse, but I've seen firsthand on this site many people who get and stay sober without AA. I'm 99 days sober today, and very grateful for my sobriey. I guess I'm just looking for reassurance and advice on how to do this with very little involvement with AA? This forum has really been a life saver for me. Thank you so much!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
I often reminded myself that if I went
to any lengths to get a drink I would.
No matter if it's down pouring outside
with flooding which i drove thru and
could have possibly flooded my car,
I still put myself in danger for that drink.
Today as a constant reminder going
thru any lengths to drink so could I
going thru any lengths to stay sober.
A program of steps and principles set
down for me to incorperate in my everyday
life has kept me sober. Sharing my own
story, my own experiences, strengths
and hopes of what it was like before,
during and after alcohol to another that
is still suffering with addiction has kept
me sober.
Going to meetings was one way for me
to see and hear the messages of hope
from others who have stayed sober before
me and those who went back out to let
me know alcohol and drugs are alive
and continueing to kick butt big time
everyday.
It hasnt changed over 21 yrs when I
first came into recovery and doubt it
will ever change.
There are many ways to work a program
of recovery even if it's imposible to make
a f2f meeting, just as long as I can give my
knowledge away that was so freely passed
on to me thru the yrs.
SR for me is a useful tool to use in my
recovery helping me secure my sobriety
that I am so grafeful for each day.
to any lengths to get a drink I would.
No matter if it's down pouring outside
with flooding which i drove thru and
could have possibly flooded my car,
I still put myself in danger for that drink.
Today as a constant reminder going
thru any lengths to drink so could I
going thru any lengths to stay sober.
A program of steps and principles set
down for me to incorperate in my everyday
life has kept me sober. Sharing my own
story, my own experiences, strengths
and hopes of what it was like before,
during and after alcohol to another that
is still suffering with addiction has kept
me sober.
Going to meetings was one way for me
to see and hear the messages of hope
from others who have stayed sober before
me and those who went back out to let
me know alcohol and drugs are alive
and continueing to kick butt big time
everyday.
It hasnt changed over 21 yrs when I
first came into recovery and doubt it
will ever change.
There are many ways to work a program
of recovery even if it's imposible to make
a f2f meeting, just as long as I can give my
knowledge away that was so freely passed
on to me thru the yrs.
SR for me is a useful tool to use in my
recovery helping me secure my sobriety
that I am so grafeful for each day.
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Keep strong and keep using us here at SR 
Make your meetings when you can , and use your time to meditate and keep on the beam, my thoughts are with you and your son , hug
Make your meetings when you can , and use your time to meditate and keep on the beam, my thoughts are with you and your son , hug
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Northern Ontario Canada
Posts: 3
For myself if I don't go to the meetings ( as well as call my sponsor, read my big book, remember to ask for help in the am and give thanks in the pm, as well as anything extra like finding this forum) I get lost real quick.
HOWEVER I am also inspired by the members who live in the remote locations and are only able to attend a meeting a month because that is genuinely all there are, or the story I read in the Grapevine about a member who lived somewhere so remote there were no meetings and he arranged a phone meeting once a week. These members get by with little or no meetings out of necessity and somehow it works for them.
I think the important thing is to make a solid program that works for you in your situation and follow it. If you genuinely can't get to a meeting have a backup plan such as phone calls or quiet prayer/reading times, anything as long as it is a solid plan for recovery
Just my thoughts best wishes to you and hopes that things go well for you and your son
HOWEVER I am also inspired by the members who live in the remote locations and are only able to attend a meeting a month because that is genuinely all there are, or the story I read in the Grapevine about a member who lived somewhere so remote there were no meetings and he arranged a phone meeting once a week. These members get by with little or no meetings out of necessity and somehow it works for them.
I think the important thing is to make a solid program that works for you in your situation and follow it. If you genuinely can't get to a meeting have a backup plan such as phone calls or quiet prayer/reading times, anything as long as it is a solid plan for recovery
Just my thoughts best wishes to you and hopes that things go well for you and your son
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Mound, MN
Posts: 154
Right there with ya at 5 months and 11 days sober. I'm doing my recovery with no AA, no sponsor, no big book, no steps, no meetings etc... My last meeting was over 4 months ago. In the end, I found AA to be more of just a suggestion when if comes to recovery. Above all it's YOUR voice that counts. You have to find what works for you. If you can't find time for meetings, then you can't find time for meetings.
Wish you the best.
Wish you the best.
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
Sure you can, but make sure you do something. If you're not going to do AA then try to find something that you can do with your hectic schedule to reinforce your sobriety. You made time for drinking, so make time for recovery.
Best wishes.
Best wishes.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Eliasson, since you are sober now for 100 days, of course you can stay sober without AA. AA can be helpful, but the number of sober non AAers around here says that there are other paths too. I am one of those, Eliasson, with just 90 days sober, but I feel very secure in my ability to continue to choose the life I have now over that pathetic mess I used to be. Stay the course.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NS, Canada
Posts: 160
I am sober without AA and without any family/friend support (because I never told anyone - I am choosing to do this privately for personal reasons). I drank for a million years (I'm 46), and all day, all the time for the last part of my drinking career .. 1-1.5 fifths of vodka per 24-hours.
I'm not knocking AA or support systems at all - they are wonderful and important. I'm just saying that I did it without. If you need some sort of support (as most of us do), have something in place of AA that you can hold onto.
I am happy to say that I have SR ... .. and, fortunately, that has been enough for me.
Good luck with your challenges.. sounds like your plate is very full right now. Hugs to you and yours.
I'm not knocking AA or support systems at all - they are wonderful and important. I'm just saying that I did it without. If you need some sort of support (as most of us do), have something in place of AA that you can hold onto.
I am happy to say that I have SR ...
.. and, fortunately, that has been enough for me.Good luck with your challenges.. sounds like your plate is very full right now. Hugs to you and yours.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,387
Hi Eliasson,
I am sorry to hear that your son is not doing well. Gosh, between care taking, your job, etc. it is understandable that you aren't attending meetings often.
I am 100 days sober and have only attended one AA meeting since becoming sober. I have the big book that I read occasionally. I think it all depends on the person whether or not AA is necessary. For me I don't believe it is, although I would like some face to face interaction with fellow alcoholics and will probably start scouting out meetings in the near future.
Congrats on the 99 days, and for being the strong person that you are - you are quite an example.
I am sorry to hear that your son is not doing well. Gosh, between care taking, your job, etc. it is understandable that you aren't attending meetings often.
I am 100 days sober and have only attended one AA meeting since becoming sober. I have the big book that I read occasionally. I think it all depends on the person whether or not AA is necessary. For me I don't believe it is, although I would like some face to face interaction with fellow alcoholics and will probably start scouting out meetings in the near future.
Congrats on the 99 days, and for being the strong person that you are - you are quite an example.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: In a Good Place
Posts: 484
I just went to my first AA meeting. It was fantastic learning that others have the same problem as me. I dont know if I can do it without it- my wife doesnt think I have a problem so fellow alcoholics are helpful
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
If the program of AA is working for you, no need to give it up because of not being able to attend meetings. Keep your sponsor, and phone list. Wouldn't surprise me if a couple recovering alcoholics might be happy to come by once a week. Wherever two addicts share recovery IS a meeting.
Also nearly all hospitals have meetings on a reg basis. Ask the staff. You might only have to go to the next floor.
That being said, you can do it without AA as well, but you don't have to give up your 12 step due to meetings. I live in an area with no meetings, but my program moves forward just the same.
hang in there
Also nearly all hospitals have meetings on a reg basis. Ask the staff. You might only have to go to the next floor.
That being said, you can do it without AA as well, but you don't have to give up your 12 step due to meetings. I live in an area with no meetings, but my program moves forward just the same.
hang in there
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
Eliasson, did you seriously expect anyone to answer your question with 'no you can't do it yourself over the long haul and must do everything in AA to remain comfortably sober for the rest of your life'? Of course you didn't.
The great thing about your question is that it will answer itself.
The great thing about your question is that it will answer itself.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
I am so sorry about your troubles.
If it makes you feel better I am 16+ mo the sober with no AA and no family support. However I leaned heavily on SR in the early days and I also used a Life Coach to help me pick up the pieces of my life. I did have to make my emotional well being a priority and with aLl you have on your plate I hope you take care o yourself as well.
If it makes you feel better I am 16+ mo the sober with no AA and no family support. However I leaned heavily on SR in the early days and I also used a Life Coach to help me pick up the pieces of my life. I did have to make my emotional well being a priority and with aLl you have on your plate I hope you take care o yourself as well.
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
Eliasson...I'm sorry to hear about your son. Your entire family has my thoughts and prayers. I agree with a lot of folks here. You can do this any way that works for you. Right now, meetings are hard to make, but I would suggest not giving up on AA altogether. I've only been able to make a meeting a week lately, but, right now, I am missing it, and will attend one tonight. I get a peace at meetings I don't enjoy anywhere else. And, I can fritter away an hour on my own in a flash, but for some reason, there never seems to be enough time at meetings, and the immensity of learning I get in an hour is a sure lifeline. I can't explain it, other than God's hand at work.
Even at 100 days, our sobriety is precarious. I was incredibly strong this morning in sobriety, riding high on life, and then this afternoon, wham, out of nowhere, I was fancying a glass of wine at dinner. If it were in front of me, I would have drank it. So, I know I need a meeting.
My advice? If you get the time you need for yourself and your sobriety elsewhere, don't sacrifice time away from your son. But, if that time each week keeps you centered in sobriety, don't sacrifice it.
Hang in there, friend.
Even at 100 days, our sobriety is precarious. I was incredibly strong this morning in sobriety, riding high on life, and then this afternoon, wham, out of nowhere, I was fancying a glass of wine at dinner. If it were in front of me, I would have drank it. So, I know I need a meeting.
My advice? If you get the time you need for yourself and your sobriety elsewhere, don't sacrifice time away from your son. But, if that time each week keeps you centered in sobriety, don't sacrifice it.
Hang in there, friend.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
I am almost two years sober without AA. I depend heavily on this site and on my weekly counseling sessions. Of course it's possible without AA. AA is a wonderful resource but is not the only way to stay sober. Lots of us are doing just fine without it, some of us only use SR as our recovery program.
Might be a good idea. Call your sponsor and explain your problems with making meetings on a regular basis. Maybe once a week a few AAers could come to your place and have a little meeting right there. Worth a try. And I disagree with those who say you're 'headed for a relapse' cause you're not going to (enough) meetings. That's only their opinion and not a fact.
If the program of AA is working for you, no need to give it up because of not being able to attend meetings. Keep your sponsor, and phone list. Wouldn't surprise me if a couple recovering alcoholics might be happy to come by once a week. Wherever two addicts share recovery IS a meeting
Might be a good idea. Call your sponsor and explain your problems with making meetings on a regular basis. Maybe once a week a few AAers could come to your place and have a little meeting right there.
Worth a try. And I disagree with those who say you're 'headed for a relapse' cause you're not going to (enough) meetings. That's only their opinion and not a fact.
Member of SMART Recovery
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,722
Of course, you can quit drinking without AA. I think you just need reassurance that the folks at your meeting who are predicting your relapse might just be wrong, or overreacting.
You are lucky enough to have found a place where people who've gotten sober in many different ways gather to share their experiences. This means that you will be exposed to many different perspectives and experiences, including those of people who've never walked into a recovery meeting of any kind and have no plans to do so.
From what you've written it sounds as though your commitment to remaining abstinent is strong, and you've been maintaining it through some very, very difficult times. That tells me a lot more about your chances of success than how many meetings you are going to.
You are lucky enough to have found a place where people who've gotten sober in many different ways gather to share their experiences. This means that you will be exposed to many different perspectives and experiences, including those of people who've never walked into a recovery meeting of any kind and have no plans to do so.
From what you've written it sounds as though your commitment to remaining abstinent is strong, and you've been maintaining it through some very, very difficult times. That tells me a lot more about your chances of success than how many meetings you are going to.
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