Farfalla

Greetings all. I was contacted by my AH rehab to participate in an appeal tomorrow to the insurance company for a 120day stay. I will be seeing my AH briefly during the appeal process. Little nervous. Not sure what to expect. I was told by his primary therapist that I should clearly lay out if he doesn't actively work recovery he will not have a chance to rebuild his family relationship. I had words with his family last night who continues to make excuses for his behavior. Conversation ended in my motherinlaw hanging up on me. I did not call back. Multiple ppl calling his cell looking for money. I changed the number today and deleted all contacts as per the advice of the therapist. Any advice? Anvil hellokitty dollydo give it to me. I always appreciate your feedback.

Farfalla

I am not hopeful insurance will approve anything. This has me nervous. I am telling myself it is not my issue since I was not the one who chose to do drugs. The therapist told me he is struggling. He is still in detox. He is scared he will use again and is not really being completely honest. There was a felony charge that resulted in a court ordered outpatient rehab. Two DUI's. A dismissal from two doctors due to Percocet abuse and other drug use. A dismissal from a place of employment because his urine was HOT. None of this was told to his therapist. This leads me to believe he is not really embracing the gift of recovery. I hope I have the strength to not allow him to manipulate he way back into my life if they discharge him due to an insurance denial.

dollydo

Alright, I agree with Anvil, hopefully these dealers don't have your address, unfortunately, with the internet today it is easy to secure and they will do most anything to secure repayment of their money.

This whole drug addiction thing has many cavets. He may have been selling as well as using, thus, he could owe a ton of money,if he built up a rep with the drug distributor, they will give him credit, he gets the drugs, delivers them, gets his money, then decided to disappear, go into recovery, without paying the distributor...that's a big NO NO...

If anyone comes to the door, I would be very cautious before I opened it. If you feel any
discomfort, I would call 911. I am not trying to scare you, I am trying to make you understand what you may have to deal with and to think on your feet. Safety first.

I don't know what he told you, however, I can assure you, it is no where near the truth.
It is always worse...much worse.

As you probably have already figured out I deal my cards face up, thus, I would tell the truth, as you know it, no sugar coating anything. Simply put, he is an addict, and he needs treatment.

He will either embrace it, or, he will not. My gut tells me that he is doing this because he knows that the hood is chasing him, and, he is trying to hide out...I could be wrong...won't be the first time...but that is my feeling...I hope that I am wrong.

Sending support your way...As Ever...Dolly

hello-kitty

I don't have much to add to what others have said. It's not healthy to be wrapped up in someone's addiction the way you are. It doesn't matter if he is your husband for the last 20 years. He is first and foremost a drug addict. And you can't save him. You are going to do what you are going to do. But I suggest you read co-dependent no more. If you've already read it, then I suggest you read it again. Stop trying to help him and let him help himself. That's how addicts get better.

You have your hands full with your children and yourself. That's where your focus can do the most good.